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Messages By: missbucky

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February 24, 2007, 6:41 am CST

Praying for the couples

My heart really goes out to these couples but I will be honest they should be ashamed of themselves. One couple uses fowl language and leaves the room like a child. Unless,  that changes and they begin working together then nothing will ever change.  Another couple disrespects his wife to no end. What seems to be so bad is the wife seems like she really loves him, why is another Dr. Phil show. Of all the couples, I think this one has a better chance at making it work. I think the husband does love his wife and he is beginning to realize how it hurts her feelings when she is talked about in that negative way. On the other hand the wife needs to stop being so critical and dont bring the Mother into the problems. ..that definitly won't help..she needs to listen and talk things through.. be honest. He doesn't read minds so bring everything out on the table and start over. Finally, the last couple is bringing a third party into the picture which is a no-no. I dont think she will get rid of him. I think for that couple divorce preceedings should begin. There doesn't seem to be any foundation to work with.

 

I have been married for eleven years in March. My husband and I have been through the ringer with my illness, loss of employment, my disability,.. then he lost his job when it went over seas..then he became disabled. If we can stay together then what these couples are going through should be a breeze. They should realize how lucky they are they have good heath, good jobs, their children are healthy. The things they are argueing over seems so petty to me compared to what my husband and I have been through. I love my husband more each day we have a strong relationship and all the troubles we have experienced only brought us closer. And overall thats what I hope will happen to all three of these couple. They will learn to trust each other and let their relationship build on these experiences and get stronger. They shouldn't look back only forward..tomorrow is a new day and together they can survive.  Good luck!

 

From Rebecca

 
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February 24, 2007, 6:56 am CST

Very blessed

Quote From: maria3255

Dear Dee, you are very blessed that you and your husband of 25 years have a relationship of respect toward each other.  Unfortunately when I was married to my first husband, we were married for 22 years, ours was a parent-child relationship. He was the parent and I was the child, and he liked it that way because he had some control over me.  I was very naive and I often felt frightened of him because he set himself up as a higher authority.  We had two girls, they are now 25 and 26.  When I turned 40 my father died not long after my birthday. My mother had passed away some years earlier. I can't explain it properly but I felt as if i suddenly grew up. I came to see myself as a person, not a dependant. I realised that i was starved for adult communication and affection and deep down inside i felt terribly lonely and I also felt that my husband and I were 13,000.000 miles separated from each other.  It was a strange feeling and I knew my husband wouldn't understand. After much pain and drama we ended up separating and divorcing.  He is now re-married and much happier than he was with me. He treats his new wife like an equal and she's not dependant on him. She has a much stronger personality than I had and perhaps thats what he really wanted. I am re-married too and my husband of 7 years treats me like an equal and i have to depend on him now financially because i injured myself at work, and cannot work now. I do feel bad about not contributing to the family budget in a monetary way as working always made me feel a useful person to society, and got a lot of pleasure earning my weekly wage, which gave me also self-esteem. I can't help feeling that I had been a burden to my first husband as I also suffer from clinical depression and had 3 nervous breakdowns during our married life. My new husband does understand a lot more as he had suffered with depression too.  I feel more accepted. It was hard for the girls at the time, but they have adjusted after all this time. They have trouble communicating with their father too and he treats them as if they were still 10 years old, which annoys them because they cant share how they felt and feel now.  May God bless you all as a family, Lory.(Maria 3255)  

Dee, it is wonderful tht you have been married for that length of time. My husband and I are working on eleven years next month in March. We have had a difficult time in our marriage with different things being thrown upon us. I found out I was ill and had to quit my job of ten years as a finance manager. Then shortly after that I was totally disabled. A few years later the same thing would happen to my husband. He suffers with depression, anxiety attacks, and he is bi-polar so his mood is like a roller coaster. He is a wonderful husband, spoils me to no end. Pleas don't feel like a burden to your husband, it sounds like he loves you no matter what the circumstances. You may not contribute financially but I bet you contribute in other ways like being a house wife, cooking, those things aren't an easy job. Some days I feel great and can clean cook all day other days my fibromalgia, chronic pain, lupus, and arthritis all seem to be at each other and I feel terrible. So Mike my husband knows when its a bad day, he helps out more and tomorrow is a new day and maybe I'll be feeling better. You take care of yourself, please write me anytime or IM me on yahoo if you prefer. I wish you all the best. Now if those couple can get it together and make things work.

 

God Bless, Rebecca

 
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February 26, 2007, 8:03 am CST

Good luck to the couples

I am so happy for the couples if they really mean what they say. I wish them the best of luck. I think the next step is to show their children what it means to love uncondictionally. These children need to know what it is like to love and express their self without the yelling, screaming, and fowl language.

 

I guess I am spoiled, my husband tells me all throughout the day he loves me, he constantly gives me hugs. These couples ned to get back to the way they were in the beginning.

 

Good luck to each and every couple.

 

Thanks, rebecca

 

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