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Messages By: show_fan1

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December 16, 2007, 9:54 am CST

12/18 Dangerous Daughters

My daughter is 28 years old and has been in and out of rehab since she was 18.  We thought the last time she fell off the wagon that it would be the last time--that was in 2004.   I have always wanted to write Dr. Phil about this to get help, but never could muster up the strength.  I wish I could send you a picture of her--she is a beautiful girl, blonde hair blue eyes.    She went to parochial school through 8th grade and was in public high school.  Her college tuition was paid for 2 years and she threw all of that out for drugs.   She got out of rehab again in 2004, found a job, got married, and subsequently fell off the wagon. Since I am retired, I told her while she had a chance to get help while she was covered by her husbands insurance to get it.   But she sacrificed all of that and ended up on the streets in June of 2007.   Her husband left her and divorced her and took the dog.   It has been 5 months of torture, but she is finally in a halfway house. It wasn't easy getting her there.   Lots of phone calls.  I got her arrested to get her off the streets and get shelter and food for her.   But once again, she was one up on me and she found some "sugar daddy" to post bond for her and she went back out on the streets.  I then still had to get in debt and hire an attorney to help.   One would ask why I just didn't bring her back home.   The answer to that is that when she lived at home, money became missing out of my checking account.   To bring her back home, I would become a prisoner in my own home, having to lock up everything.   I feel like I would have to take the computers away (yes, she used Myspace to find some of her crummy friends), and I would have to be a taxi cab to take her everywhere because I wouldn't trust her to drive my car. 

 

There is a dread that I have, that she will always fall off the wagon and expect Mom to come running financially to get her well.   I found that my helping her financially was merely enabling her to do more drugs.  Some parents can afford this--unfortunately I am not one of them.  My money has to last me until I'm "6 feet under."   Not knowing if a lifetime of drugs is what she end up with I am supporting her emotionally, and am only jump-starting her at this halfway house.   I have done all of the work for her to get her there, now it is her turn, but I will always be there for her emotionally.  These are your kids and you love them; however, drug addiction is one of a parents worst nightmares.   I do love my daughter Amy so much and I pray for her every day.

 
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December 18, 2007, 7:13 am CST

Dangerous daughters

Quote From: maryd2k

This is a subject that hits especially close to home.  We have a 19 year old daughter who is on a fast track to the big house.  She refuses to get a job, can't stay in school, and lies as easy as she breathes.  She lives in her granny's basement because she knows gran won't throw her out.  She has been thru counseling, therapy, you name it.  She is a smart young woman who will not take responsibility for herself or her actions.  She married a young GI last year.   She met this man online and knew him for all of 2 days before they eloped.  The famiy did not find out about it until after he left for the war.   I really think she is mentally ill.  I am hoping I can learn something from Dr Phil about how to cope with this mess and not go insane myself.  Thanks for listening.

My daughter is the 28 year old on the message board.   All of your stories go along with the addition.   They can't hold jobs, and they lie all of the time.   I used to call my daughter a pathological liar.   I used to think that my daughter was mentally ill also.   She cried about everything before I even thought she could learn how to be manipulative.    I used to answer to myself in answer to Dr. Phil's question that "I dont get it."  My mind has been a battlefield for 28 years and I am trying now to get a life for myself.   I was consumed with all of her problems.   Her brother was no saint.   He is 24.   I have a whole litany on him.   However, once again, he is my son and I do love him no matter how awful he can be at times.  

 

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