Messages By: juliebgg

....I don't want to get your mouths watering but last night I had a tray of those chocolate covered cherries they put out every year at this time!  I bought a box "for the grandchildren"....but ended up with 6 of them.   Something strange happened.  I only had two and put the rest away.  I didn't want any more.  Something good is happening.    

... If I seem too cheerful, just ignore me.  I'm proud of myself for the small step I've made with chocolate.  It's a big step for me.   

You're right, it is a big thing. I need to acknowledge that to myself too.   

Barb 

I am very happy that these women have finally gained some self-esteem and some hope.  I don't know that they "deserved" all the gifts -- but lucky them and their children!  My only problem with the whole First Wives Club is the complete lack of personal responsibility and ownership from these women.  I'm sorry, but men do not leave a "perfectly happy" marriage of 20+ years JUST for a younger woman.  The younger woman was perhaps the impetus toward him doing what he had already wanted to do for some time.... 

If the marriage were happy, he wouldn't have left.  If he saw hope for a future with his wife, he wouldn't have left.  In order to have a marriage survive so long, they had to have many ups and downs that they worked through before, so it's not like he bailed out at the first sign of turbulance.  It takes two to make a marriage work.  It also takes two to make a marriage fail....  From what we heard of Heidi and Holly, the marriage was doomed before it even began and they chose not to heed the signs.  Pam and Donna, however, made it sound like they had an ideal marriage until he just left "suddenly" one day.  I'm sorry, but I refuse to believe that was the first they heard of him being unhappy. 

Again, I am not trying to denigrate the pain and fear these women experienced.  I know it was very real.  And I'm happy to see them full of hope again.  I think their renewed strength and sense of self is a huge relief and benefit to themselves, their families, and their friends.  But I take huge exception to the "helpless victim" mentality.  I'm sure if you heard the husband's side of these stories, you would get a very different view of these women and these relationships.  And I'm sure their decision to leave was far from "sudden". 

I want to thank everyone for all of their support for my mother, Pam. I am her oldest daughter, Kate, and have been going through this divorce as well the past three years. It has been hard on all three of us, and with every day it does not get any easier, let me tell you. I just want to give some of the people who posted ill will comments about the gifts the women recieved, a little bit of insight. I want everyone know that my mother lost everything in this, my father walked away smileing. She was penniless and had no self wurth and zero self respect. It took a lot of courage and strength that she was totally drained of to come on this show and tell her story, and she was not aware they would be getting any gifts at all, and she didn't care. All she wanted was some insight on how to move on. She and the other women deserved everything they recieved and then some...I look at it as a blessing, a ray of light, in a very dark patch of time. Let us all remind ourselves, also, that if it was not for my mother and others like her, all of you would have nothing to write about on this board. I also want to let everyone know that my mother is doing well since the show, still, but we are still hitting some very rough patches. Not only are the holidays approaching, but today our beloved family dog was hit and killed by a car. So, my mother recieved all sorts of great stuff, yes...she is greatful, at the least...but it is events like these that put everything in perspective and make you realize that even though wonderful things happen, so do the bad things. Life keeps on going. 

 I hope this puts everyone at ease...those who were writeing harsh words against these four wonderful women..don't worry...sadness is still very much a part of all of our lives. If that will make you sleep better at night, knowing that, then there you go. Take joy in the fact that we still do have misery....To everyone else, thanks for your wonderful words of support....exp. Shanin, thanks honey, for all you said. 

I assume nothing. I speak through a great deal of personal experience.  "whining is a pejorative assumption made by the listener."  In this case, I believe that would be you, and you would prove my point rather well had I been making one. I was merely offering some positive qualities I have noticed in younger women that were lacking in the last few women I have dated who were in my age group. I suspect there are plenty of women who are not like this, but I haven't been looking all that hard. You have read far too much into what I have written, but thanks for your input. I enjoyed reading your opinion. 

I can't help but think at least all these women have had prospects.  I am almost 25 and have never had a boyfriend or even been asked out!  The only "date" I have ever had was a set up and went nowhere.  It seems like I am not even getting chances to show people who I am.  I admit I am shy and a little hard to get to know, and I don't do well in crowds, but batting eyelashes and flipping hair is not me and I would just feel ridiculous flirting.  I don't know how to find a guy without pursuing one like a hunter.  Ideas?