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Messages By: sleepgone

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February 12, 2007, 9:35 pm CST

Porn Use

Quote From: jljs53

Hi jane

I am afraid I can't help you with any experience. My oldest is turning 33 this week. When he was in grade 6 him and a buddy found several playboys by a dumpster. They split them up and each took them home. I remember having a talk with him and the gist of it was playboy was taboo for 11 year olds. It is kind of funny now as I think about it. And compared to now, the internet, movies, etc playboy in 1985 was probably pretty tame.

After getting married again in 2000 and encountering porn with my husband I know it has to be treated seriously. If I was raising children now I would definately educate them on the issues of the damage porn can do. I would also tell my daughter to ask about porn use. I never because it never occurred to me.

By the way I really like the words you use to post. You always make so much sense.     jljs

I feel that parents can take something negative and turn it around to something positive.  Teenagers are going to come across pornography in various ways.  Internet is a small part of that, what with sex education in our public schools these days.  Children need to be taught that the human body is a special piece of art created in our makers image; to be admired - not coveted.  They need to be taught that the sex in the porn movies is a slap in the face of intimacy.  Also the last thing that parents should do if a child walks in on them making love is to act like your doing something wrong.  Children need to understand the difference between making love (and that it doesn't necessarily involve sex) and fornicating.
 
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March 26, 2007, 5:44 am CDT

If your not part of the solution then your part of the problem.

In reading through some of the posts on this topic, I have found that MOST are in agreement as far as well wishes for Alex and her family.  I join them in this.  However, there is one point I would like to make: the in-fighting between the mother, sister-in-law, and grandmother has got to stop.This childs problem and her withdrawal from family, I feel, may be symptomatic of the discourse and rage exhibited within the family unit.  No child wants to be around anyone who is consistantly fighting.  In the shows that I've watched, it seems that Enza's only purpose in life is to make Kims llife miserable regardless of who suffers.

 

Personally, I feel that Enza's opinion of Kim's parenting skills may be dead on, however, she should keep such to herself.   There isn't a parent alive who hasn't made mistakes in their rearing of their children - Including our "idol" Dr. Phil.  There is no "owners" manual or "Raising Children For Dummies" book available - save the Bible, which is subject  to interpretation. 

 

My advice to the family?  Kim - leave any drugs, alcohol and men alone.  Concentrate on your daughter.  If you must have a man, take him to a motel room.  If you must have a party with drugs and alcohol, take your daughter to your mother for the weekend or allow her to stay with a FEMALE friend her age.  Jeanette - As a grandparent myself, I don't always agree with the decisions that my children make in regards to their children.  I have to constantly remind myself that I am granddaddy - not daddy.  I am always there for my children should they need to come to me for advice.  Kim needs to know that you are there for her.  It's tough enough being a single parent without someone pointing out her faults and not slapping her on the back for a job well done when she does something right.  Enza - SHUTUP!  You are "SISTER-IN-LAW".  If your HUSBAND isn't worried about the child then you shouldn't be.  You really need to stay out of their business and keep your opinions to yourself.  YOU TRY REARING A CHILD ALONE!  The only involvment you should have MAYBE to be there for Alex to cry on your shoulder on occasion.  STOP STIRRING SH*T!  Alex - I know your young and confused.  You are going through changes both mentally, physically and hormonally and this is a tuff time for you.  I have four daughters so I am familiar with these events in your life, however, dont allow yourself to use these problems as a crutch or an excuse to misbehave.  You are a beautiful young woman who has the potential for greatness.  Don't throw away this opportunity that Dr. Phil has given you to straighten up your life before it's too late.  In short, PULL YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR *SS and start facing your responsibilities like a young woman should.  Your not a child anymore.  Act your age, not your aunts IQ.

 

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