Messages By: foxylass

 

    Welcome to the message board fellow Aussie. I don't know if this is the right one for you based on your quote. I 'm sure there is a message board for relationship problems which would probably be more appropriate. I don't know about cheating husbands but cheating boyfriends , yes. My boyfriend's utility broke down. I was in hospital , yet again, with depression when he announced his ute had died. I , with out a second thought , offered him the use of my Hyundai. Only later did I find out that he was using my car to ferry his other girlfriend around ! He thought he had a golden goose in me. I was a professional and earned a good salary, I loved his daughter and he could laze on the lounge with his phoney chronic pain, drink booze and I would take care of him and raise his daughter. So he thought. I set him straight about that one and told him what a pathetic loser he really was. He actually had the gall to ring me last year because his dog ran away with the dog I gave his daughter. He asked how I was going. I told him that I was , " moving in with my fiance next week and going to back to university to study Law." He never called again !

     I would never trust a person who cheated on me. They will always do it again. Get over him and find a new direction for your life. Obviously he is not interested in your feelings or human rights. You have the right to be respected. He has disrespected you in major way. We all make mistakes but that I personally could not forgive. I would always be wondering when it was going to happen again. If you don't have trust you have nothing.  Try seeing a counsellor about dealing with the devastation you are feeling and tips for turning this around and into your defining moment. Amazingly some Women have only truly found their real passion and potential when an event such as this occurs. Your life is more than the sum total of assets and possessions you share with him. You are the only person in your life who will never let you down. Find that silver lining in this cloud and use to your advantage.    Donna. Xxxx

     Whenever you feel that way remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a short term problem. When you die you don't get a second chance,it's final. I would suggest you seek decent counselling from a psychologist/therapist. If you are taking medications obviously they are having no beneficial effect for you. They are in theory meant to quell feelingsof suicide, elevate mood and allow you to think clearly enough to benefit from talking therapies. However, there are two main groups of people when it comes to response to medications. About  a third of people benefit immensely from the medication and recover well with no adverse effects. The remaining two thirds either have absoluely no benefit or adverse effects. I would seriously be looking at your medication. If it is an SSRI  ( Aropax,Zoloft,Effexor,Lexapro etc.) it can actually cause suicidal thoughts and behaviour as a side effect. People experiencing this need to be taken off the medications altogether. Doctors cannot estimate or measure serotonin in the brain at all. Therefore , they cannot tell how much it is affected by medication. If you increase a person's serotonin level too high they will actually become suicidal. See Prof. David Healy UK Psychiatry professor's studies. I'm not suggesting you stop taking meds suddenly but wean off with the assistance and supervision of a qualified professional. The withdrawal symptoms are nasty.

    Always speak to somebody when you feel suicidal and ensure you have company at these times. This in itself will help to keep you safe until the feeling has subsided and you are thinking clearly.

 

Donna Xxxx

 

     I hate to tell you this but your restless legs will never stop unless you stop the medication. See your doctor now. This side effect is only one of many that come under the umbrella term extrapyramidal symptoms. This is a collection of horrible symptoms caused directly by serotonin-boosting anti-depressants and antipsychotics. This is a sign of brain damage. In most cases it can be reversed by discontinuing the drug. Doctors don't care nor will they tell you about these nasties. They want to sell you a quick fix and you would would never have taken the first pill if you had known this. They expect you to put up with it and risk long term damage. if you don't believe me look up your medications in the medical index of medicines (MIMS). The drug company sites play down the statistics and severity of symptoms because they want to market a product. It only gets tested on animals for a couple of months before it is granted permission to be marketed. Symptoms such as these take close to 12 months or longer to appear.  When you increase serotonin you inversely lower dopamine another vital neurotransmitter. When you have too little dopamine you develop Parkinson-like symptoms +/- memory difficulties. Taking these drugs also predisposes you to developing Parkinson's or Alheimer's syndrome more readily and earlier down the track. I know what I am talking about I am an RN. This is serious.

      Sue is right. See your doctor immediately.You should not be taking anti-depressants at all. They have the worst effects on teenagers. They cause suicidal behaviour at more then double the figures of adults. They will not help you. Exposing your young brain to these chemicals is dangerous for anyone especially teenagers. Even in adults the 'boosting' effect of these drugs will disappear after 12 months and the dosage needs increasing to defeat the depression again. However, people never feel as good as they did initally again no matter how much you increase the dose. There are natural alternatives please try them. You are so young and I promise you these drugs will cause brain damage over time. Being on serotonin -boosters for 12 months is enough to start damage occuring. Longer exposure leads to more damage. Scientists agree that boosting serotonin lowers dopamine (a vital brain chemical) and results in Parkinson-like symptoms ( restless legs,lip smacking,stiffness,memory problems,twitches and body tics) that may not go away completely  even after ceasing the drug. The suicide rates in teenagers taking these drugs is unbelievable. It is irresponsible for any doctor to prescribe these to teens. SSRI meds cause teenagers to become suicidal. They all have the same effect. Don't be bullied or fooled by your doctor  into just swapping meds. Take this as a sign that they are harming not helping you. I'm an RN I know what I'm telling you is fact.  Love Donna Xxx

        I can't imagine the pain you feel at the loss of your mother. It is a senseless way to lose her and it makes everyone feel guilty. Guilt for not seeing the signs or being there when that loved one needed help. Don't blame yourself it is nobody's fault. Not reaching out for help or simply opting for a medication only approach inevitably ends in such a sad way.

      Try to take care of you first. You are the only person you can truly rely on. The man you speak of you say isn't interested in pursuing a relationship. I would take that as a sign that it is not meant to be. Not being in a relationship doesn't equate to depression. Try reaching out to friends and family on a social level. Fun times don't come knocking on your front door. You have find a social outlet to meet and enjoy the company of others. For example dance classes (ballroom or latin). It is tremendous fun no matter how awful you may be at it. There are always people there to partner you dancing. It helps you release endorphins ( our natural high ) when you exercise to the point of sweating or panting. Please take care and don't look for a quick solution in antidepressants. They stop you from greiving and simply blunt your normal emotions. If you haven't greived properly yet this is probably why you feel so bad. We all need to greive even animals do. Medications bring short-term relief but prevent you from dealing with the raw emotions you need to in order to get back on top. I know this because I was foolish enough to do it. The drugs only caused brain damage some which persists (not to mention the ECTs damage) even today twelve months after ceasing the last Effexor. I am an RN so I have looked at this from a personal and scientific evidence based view.  Please take care . Love Donna Xxx

    I am an Australian and we have the highest number of deaths due to melanoma in the world. There are ongoing education campaigns in Australia to stop this senseless loss. Prevention is the only way to curb these tragic deaths. Cover up with a long sleeve shirt , a broad rimmed hat , proper UV protective sunglasses and wear sunscreen ( 30+ if possible) . Remember that sunscreen slips off with swimming or sweating and needs reapplying every two hours. Solariums are insane. They speed up skin damage and possible skin cancers. They should be banned. They are not safe at all for anyone. A nice tan isn't worth the price of your life. B cell carcinoma isn't to be taken lightly. Consider it a wake up call and take care of your skin.

 

Cheers Donna Xxx

   I am concerned that the doctors at the emergency room only thought about increasing your Prozac. To me that is irresponsible. They should have ensured that you were supervised until the feelings had passed and arranged psychotherapy. Antidepressants are ineffective and dangerous for teenagers. I fear for you Whitney. I see you being hauled onto the medication merry-go-round that so many people end up on. They start out on one med and exhaust that one then another and so for the rest of their lives they never know happiness. I would suggest you read the book "Prozac Backlash" by Joseph Glenmullen , MD. (Simon & Schuster Paperbacks,New York 2005.) He is a well reknowned Psychiatrist who has documented so many cases that prove the dangers of antidepressants and gives safe & effective alternatives.

   I hope you enjoyed your prom. The photo you posted of you in your dress was beautiful. I wish you well and I'm sorry if what I am saying seems contradictory to what everyone else is saying.I know this from my own personal experience and professional knowledge. I would never advise you to do something detrimental.   Love & Hugs Donna.Xxx

     I recently began working in a permanent position at the hospital I used to work at when I became depresssed in 1996. I left there in 1999 after the medications had made it impossible for me think  or function. I guess I expected it but people come up to me and greet me stating they remember me from when I used to work there. Due to the damage the ECT & medications did to my long term memory I don't recognise them nor remember any details about them. I have to 'go along' with whatever they are saying and make up some reason for why I left. It's freaky. Some of them actually remember why I left so I feel as though everybody knows my business and is just waiting for me to 'crack' up' again.

     I find myself having to almost defend my absolute resolve to never allow such a thing to happen again. I give reassurances that I have undergone monumental change and gained irreplacible wisdom from my awful experience. I'm not paranoid but I also don't like the idea that if certain people decided to they could use my past to undermine me.  I try to exude confidence in  my skills and knowledge and demonstrate what a different person I am today. I believe the past is the past and not my present or future. I get questions all the time from newer staff members who want to know why I left and what I did during those years. That's when it becomes awkward. I'm not convinced as to whether to make up something or tell the truth. If I lie they will likely hear the truth from an older staff member.

 Well I definately feel like the black sheep in my family. My sister and brother really resent me for reasons I can't even fathom. They go out of their way to be condescending and if I dare to express an opinion about anything it is quickly countered or cried down. They seem to thrive on superficial conversation about nothing whereas I enjoy discussions with some point to them.

 

I endured depression for about eight years and was treated ineffectively by a 'quack psychiatrist' until I pulled myself together and got off the meds and sought the counselling and psychotherapy I had never received. I recovered almost immediately. I came out the other side of that experience a very different person.I was confident and assertive , something I had never been before. I guess I had learned my own value and that the only person I could truly rely in life was myself.

 

At the moment I am feeling pretty awful as I have Pleurisy and I know that I have only got me to rely on. My brother and sister would rather drink their own vomit than help me.Their answer to illness is' just suck it up and go to work'.  Mind you they only ever experience head colds and flu ! I really need someone to help me to take care of myself right now but I would stand more chance of winning Lotto than receiving any help from my family. I live alone and I'm sure that if I died people would only notice if my bills weren't being paid. Amazingly my brother , sister and I were close before I became depressed so I don't know what I've done to make that change and they won't give me a clue either.

 I would be trying to get him weaned off all of those medications I think they are inducing the symptoms you describe. (With help from a doctor).People believe in the 'theory' that psychaitrists state that depression is only a biochemical imbalance. It is not  a scientifically proven fact. You cannot measure the levels of neurotransmitters in the brain especially not serotonin.

  The biggest problem with believing this theory is that one automatically believes increasing serotonin +/- noradrenaline will correct the imbalance and 'hey presto' the person is not depressed any more. The danger lies in the fact that if you increase the level of serotonin in the brain of a person with adequate serotonin then you induce symptoms such as suicidal thinking and behaviour. I know because it happened to me. Don't believe that it's only a matter of finding the'right drug' because it isn't. If a person is affected by psychotropic drugs (SSRIs) in particular ,medication will worsen the problem. I imagine was he never extensive physical examination prior to commencing on all of these drugs ? Almost every person given these drugs is given no physical investigation.This means physical conditions become masked  in the myriad of side effects caused by the cocktail of meds he is on.

 

I believe that he needs close supervision; to be weaned off all meds; psychological intervention for the PTSD and depression he is suffering and proper physical investigation . Medication has no beneficial effects on PTSD you have to work through it. Ask any Vietnam veteran how much medication helped them !You cannot gain any information from an individual who is so obviously overmedicated. It would be like an ER doctor trying to do an physical examination on patient who has been given a narcotic. Obviously they could not say where it hurt anymore because it wouldn't be hurting while the drug was in effect.

 

Zoloft has long been associated with producing suicidal ideation in countless individuals.Everybody's brain chemistry is different. It is Russion roulette as to whether the medications help or harm you and psychiatrists won't admit that a drug is harming their patient they just adjust the dose , change meds altogether and then if still failing administer disgusting ECT. It is an area of medicine which is extremely poorly researched or regulated. Virtually no psychiatrist will consider taking their patient off medication regardless of what physical harm it is doing. Just look at the number of people who have developed type I diabetes from Zyprexa and hypertension from SSRIs & SNRIs. Not even then will they discontinue the drugs."Gee, they might die from this but at least they might have good mental health !"

 

Look up David Healy's " Halting SSRIs" for further information.  Good luck this will be difficult and take time. I am fully expecting a backlash of replies from those people who avidly believe in trying medication after medication until the day they suicide.I've unfortunately watched that happen to many , many people. I only survived because I got off the meds and worked through my PTSD and depressive issues.