Messages By: sunnylashel

Quote From: suebonnetsue

 I seriously doubt that your daughter would lose her job if she goes to therapy.  First, It's illegal to be fired for that.  She could sue the government.  They know that.  They won't fire her.  Lots of people, with VERY high clearances are in therapy.   How do I know?  My father had very high clearance in the defense department.  At least two of the people under him were in counseling/therapy.  My husband is a director in a government agency.  He wishes some of those under him would get the help that they need.  But it's illegal for him to suggest that, or to ask if they are getting help.  My son also has a clearance.

Second, no one at your daughter's job would ever know if she was in therapy.  HIPAA makes it illegal for ANYONE to get our medical records.  If your daughter doesn't tell her senior officers, they will never find out.  How would they? 

For more information on health care privacy:
http://www.hhs.gov/ocr/hipaa/

Does your daughter have a security clearance?  If so, her friends and neighbors will be questioned about how she lives.  I just completed such a form for one of my neighbors.  An investigator interviewed me about another neighbor.  BUT, they cannot get any medical records.  It's not therapy that will cause problems for your daughter, but a neighbor might tell them about the mess.  I don't know if that could effect her job or not.  It probably depends on her clearance level.  Security investigators will visit her at home, particularly if she has a high level of clearance, and someone tells them that there is a problem.   She could lose her clearance, but even that is not likely, unless she has a VERY high clearance.  Even then, she couldn't lose her job, just her clearance.  If she has a clearance, she knows how the clearance investigations work. 

I suspect that your daughter is telling you that she cannot get help for her problem,  because she doesn't want to get help.  She is using her job as an excuse for not getting help.  She is afraid that a therapist would tell her she has to rid of her 'stuff'.  That wouldn't happen, but she's afraid of it.  Her stuff brings her comfort.  The thought of being told to get rid of it is very anxiety producing.  Clutter reduces anxiety for hoarders, unlike most of us who get anxious if we have too much stuff around, hoarders feel the opposite. 

I wish you the best, it must be heartbreaking to see your grandson living like that.  But don't buy her excuses.  If she wants help, she can get it. 

Quote From: ima_hoarder

I am an intelligent, successful entrepeneur.  Approximately 15 years ago, while employed in a well paying upper management position at an insurance company, I started buying storage units at lien sales.  Naturally, the "stuff" from the storage units I purchased ended up filling our garage and overflowing into our house.  I sold what I could at yard sales.  It didn't take long before I had to rent a storage unit for the "stuff".  My oldest son joined me in this new "business venture".  I sent him to auctioneer school and quit my job at the insurance company.  Our "Businesss Plan"?  Buy storage units, sell the contents at flea markets and open an auction house.  In no time we had to move our "stuff" into a small warehouse.  Flea markets were very hard work so we opened a Thrift Store in a small, historic town known for the numerous antique stores in the heart of downtown.  Being the successful bidder and buying 20-30 storage units a month became an obsession.  We already had an 18" enclosed trailer but it quickly became inadequate so I bought a 36' box truck with a hydrolic lift (at an auction I attended by myself).  Now we could travel to surrounding cities and buy even more storage units. I might mention that there are "regulars" at these lien sales who make their living from reselling the contents of the storage units.  Newbies are not welcome and the regulars make sure the newbie pays a premium for a unit byn "running up" the bids.  They love it when someone like me dives in!!  I didn't care what the price I had to pay, if I wanted a unit NOBODY was going to outbid me!  I spent thousands of dollars for the privelege of doing hot, sweaty physical labor cleaning out storage units, the majority of which contained nasty furniture, bags of stinky, dirty clothes, garbage bags full of nasty, dirty dishes, disgusting small appliances, GARBAGE BAGS full of old mail (consisting primarily of collection notices, past due bills and junk mail.  After the hard work of removing everything from a storage unit, my son and I went through the "treasures", sorting items we could resell from the garbage while we were really looking for the "Pot of Gold" we knew we would find.  Stories from the regulars of finding gold jewelry, diamonds,guns, expensive china, crystal and silver, antiques, vintage train set, antique dolls, etc. made us more determined we would be the successful bidder on every storage unit we chose to bid on.  The "regulars" were telling wild tales.  I can assure you, if there are items of value in the storage unit, the owner will find some way to come up with a couple of hundred dollars to bring his rent current and remove his property before it is sold.

 

This is where the seeds of my hoarding were sown.  After a couple of years and many thousands of dollars spent on garbage we had the privledge of taking to the landfill, we finally had been in ous store long enough that people came to us to sell household goods, antiques and collectibles.  Finally, we had the luxury of buying only good, clean "stuff".  We had also done 4-5 auctions, what a nightmare, and decided not to pursue the auction business.  My mom had retired and joined my son and me in the Thrift Store.  We also started selling on ebay.  This was in the early days of ebay and we made more money on ebay than we did in the store.  Ebay was fertilizer to my growing obsession to accumulate "stuff", always looking for the treasure I would buy for a $1 and sell for $1,000!  I spent thousands of dollars on research books and spent endless hours doing research on every kind of antique or collectible you can think of.  This education was expensive but I am proud of the frequent  treasures I acquired because of my drive to learn to recognize valuable items others thought was junk.  An example: a signed Tiffany vase I paid $1 for aand sold for $1,800 on eay.  The vase was authenticated by the formeer curator of the Tiffany Exhibit at the Morse Museum in Winter Park, FL.

 

After closing the store in 2001, I kept my best merchandise and continued selling on ebay as a hobby.  My husband and I bought  a storage facility in N Central FL  and our son went to manage it.  A few years later our son was permanently disabled in an accident and the subsequent two managers were not taaking the business in the direction we wanted to go.  As a result, it was necessary for me to spend most of my time overseeing the operaation of the storage facility to protect our investment.  We purchased a small condo so I wouldn't have to travel back and forth every day.  I no longer had time to sell on ebay, but I did continue buying "stuff" ffrom yard sales and thrift stores. 

 

Currently, I have 12 large storage units packed full, the condo is full and there is still "stuff" at my house.  Not only do I sstill have "stuff" at my house, but our youngest son and our 9 yr old grandson lived with us for 5 years.  They are now in their own home, however, our house is still packed with their "stuff".

 

My life is very stressful and I find when I am on stress overload, I go buying at yard sales and thrift stores.  I buy items I know I can make money on y reselling, I just never have time to get back on ebay.  My compulsion has caused serious problems in my marriage of 37 years.  My husband has begged, pleaded and even threatened divorce if I continue buying more "stuff".  We are financially strapped right now and we do not have anny discretionary money for me to spend on this compulsion........yet I keep doing it.

 

I believe this is a sickness; an addiction like gambling, alcohol or drugs.  I want so much to reclaim my house and control of my life.  No matter how hard I try to control myself, I still go to yard sales and thrift stores; always buying more "stuff".  I do have the intention to start selling on ebay again, but it seems I am always chasing my tail going back and forth between two cities and putting out fires at our three businesses.  When I look in my storage units, I become so overwhelmed and depressed, I just go to bed and sleep.  I do see a therapist and am on Prozac and Vyvanse.  Yet I still am out of control and feel like I am in a free fall, unable to take control of any part of my life.  I will be 59 next month.  I don't want to end up as a bag lady.  I don't know where else to turn but I do know my marriage is rapidly deterioting and I amout of control.

 

Sincerely,

Ginger

Quote From: tutupaki

Please tell me that Al was arrested after the show.  This man appeared to be completely deranged and is one scary individual who should not be allowed to be around any child, ever!!!!  Watching his behavior gave me the creeps!