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Messages By: cheriecg

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February 17, 2007, 8:20 pm CST

02/21 The Dr. Phil House: Heroin Twins Follow-up

I'm strongly guessing it is Tecoa who relapsed.  (1) She has been in jail and had not necessarily hit rock-bottom to the point that her sister did and (2), the biggest reason I think it is Tecoa is because giving up your baby is so traumatic, even when you know it is the best thing for your child and the ultimate act of love, it is so traumatic that Tecoa had to find some sort of strong strong coping mechanism somewhere, and even the healthiest woman, both mentally and physically would be messed up from having to give up their child for a long long time, possibly the rest of their life, or at least until much later, when/IF they can reunite with that child as an adult, and see that he/she has had a good life and be able to say all the unsaid things and make their peace with their child, and hopefully be able to establish a continuing relationship with them.  My sister, Mel chose to give up her baby boy for adoption even though she was not on drugs, and was quite healthy.  She was only 18, had no support from the father of the baby, no family support except me, older sister whose husband had just left me and I was struggling massively to raise 2 children of my own with no child support and family support.  She looked at my situation and did not want that for her own child.  She wanted a father and a mother who were "grown-ups", who were healthy, strong, loving and would be great parents.  Though I tried to talk her out of giving her baby up, I have/had great admiration for her.  However, she is now 37 and the trauma and the huge "hole" in her soul from giving up her baby has caused her lifelong problems and often has kept her from living the life she wanted and is capable of.  Her son is now 18 and I would give anything for them to be able to find eachother.  If my sister could only see that he was okay, and have the opportuity to slowly get to know him , I believe she would be able to begin to heal.

 

I feel terrible for Tecoa that she had to give up her baby.  I wish there had been or was some sort of system or help out there that could somehow keep recovering mothers and their babies together, that kept the babies safe while helping the mothers recover and rebuild their lives.

 

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