yea sex was never the problem. As for your question the sex is from love though it is apparent that she has a wall up. The seperate bedrooms was only a result of her saying she was unhappy and wanting a divorce. She actually wanted to stay in our bedroom but I was so frustrated with everything I told her that I didn't want to be sleeping beside her because I was so mad. And we do kiss when we have sex...it's just any other time in the day that I try to show her I still love her and I want to make things work that she won't.
I set up an appointment with her counsilor so maybe she can give us both insights as to how the other feels. We will do it seperately but with the counsilor knowing what my wife feels and then hears how I feel she might be able to help us better. I probably do suffer from low self-esteem because I also suffer from depression (comes from being abused as a child). It's always something I've dealt with and tried not to let it affect my personal life but I'm open to the possibility that my judgement is clouded in those regards so I'm going to try and get medication for it.
It sounds like now she'll hold off on filing the papers to see if I change like I promised her but she won't be actively helping fix this marriage just yet. She likes to take the "sit in the stands and watch" approach instead of actually getting in there and helping with our problems. I have a feelings that might backfire when I start to change all these things to please her and see no effort on her part. I just bought Dr. Phil's Relationship Rescue and started reading that. I also said yesterday that she should read it also, that it might help us both. Which she replied "I'll read it if I have time". Kinda upset me because she said it like it wasn't worth putting much of an effort into. It was one of those things that she could do when there was absolutely nothing else to do. Then today I said to her that if things do start to work out and get better that we should make time for ourselves, go out, or just get away for a weekend to recharge our batteries and have quality time to ourselves. That that might benefit the marriage and cause less stress. To which she said "I guess". Like she doesn't want to make any effort even when things are workign out. Gets frustrating sometimes but at least I got a foot in the door again.
