Messages By: annarchl

I've been ashamed of this problem for more than 20 years.  About two years ago, my house burned down and I was griefstricken but more than anything else I was relieved!  I didn't have to worry about how to sort and eliminate all this STUFF.  I've been pretty good about keeping the new place tidy, but I find myself cluttering and I am scared it's creeping up on me.  I'm getting some better about cleaning things out and having times when I can de-clutter -- I find it helps to have someone hold me accountable and "help" me.  Even if they are just holding the trash sack or keeping me company while I do the purging, it helps me.  I also get very, very anxious doing the purging though.  If I do very much in one day, I'll have an anxiety attack.  I'm antidepressants and I can't really see a difference in my hoarding before or after taking them.  I've never been diagnosed with OCD but can see how some might think that is what it is for some.  I know that I do feel an attachment to stuff.  "Gotta keep this.  Gotta keep that."  Pretty soon, there's just more crap than I know what to do with.  I don't want to slip back into having too much stuff.  Having a cleaning lady help me this last year has helped a lot.  But I'm still cluttering.  WHERE does this come from?  If I could take a pill and stop it I would!  I see a therapist and the therapist has never been able to adequately address the issue.  Insight into what makes it so, and how to attack it and what to read would be great!

Wow did I get an eyeful today watching the show.  I've always considered myself modest, but after seeing those young women talk "Let's go find a lot of alcohol!" and "My intials are T and A and my birthday is 69."  -- I was just so shocked.  Here are these BEAUTIFUL young women, and their lovely makeup, attire and bodies are overshadowed by very, very crass behavior.  If my daughter were on film saying those things, I'd die of embarassment.   

  

I'm still old-fashioned enough to think that dating is about trying on a relationship, and a relationship doesn't mean something sexual until you've had a chance to learn something about the person you're interested in first.  Do they come on time?  Is he or she respectful in other ways?  Does this person have the ability to carry on an intelligent conversation?  Before *I* would be sexually intimate with someone I'd want to know if I even like the person!  I wouldn't know that for several dates either!   

  

If these young people are representative of what I have to do or act like in order to demonstrate I'm serious about developing a relationship, I'll stay single!  Is this truely representative of how young men and women interact on the whole?  I'm not a prude but I thought the thoughts, words and actions of the women in this segment were wholely low class, superficial, and .... NASTY.  Yikes!  What happened to demanding respect? 

I wish it were different, but smart and less attractive women don't get attention.  I think learning to live happily with hobbies, altruism and meaningful work is where it's at for us.  I'm 54 and overweight and happy.  I have my moments when I'm lonesome but on the whole try to make being alone interesting and fun because I don't see that changing for me.  I've been single-again for 25+ years.  I get out, I meet people, but guys my age want babes that are younger and thinner.  There in no hope in my heart that I will have anyone to walk into the future with me.  So far this series isn't changing that in the least for me.