Messages By: justangela
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May 10, 2007, 12:27 am PDT
 Hello, I am 15 years of age and I am currently being homeschooled; I started during my first year in highschool after being expelled in my third month of October. I had many friends in school, but I was still depressed, I guess the whole environment wasn't working for me. I eventually started doing drugs and not even showing up at school at all. My parents had no idea about this until after the fact when I was arrested at the park for possession of marijuana and absences at school. My parents took everything away until December of that year when I found out my first love ended his life. We started dating my first month in highschool up until a month before his death, he wanted me to get on the good side of my parents and we decided to break it off. I still to this day have not gotten over his death, I will admit it is very tough. Taking my phone away and not allowing me to go anywhere for months only depressed me more. If you catch your child doing wrong, first warn them and shorten the leash every time, do not take it all away at once. I now have my life back together and I am ready to help others that are in need and give advice to those who do not know what to do. People tell me everyday that I am not going to make it anywhere in life, but those who are willing to try as hard as they can will make it. I have stopped with my online programs and I am now teaching myself by observation. When I turn 16, I will take my highschool equivilancy test and I will then get a full time job to save up for college to take Psychology. I help others as much as I can now but I would like to push myself and increase my knowledge in any way that I can. I can now say that nobody is ever too far gone to get their life moving back in the right path. I am also here to tell the parents who do not support homeschooling to really think it over. If your child is not doing well in school and you know there is something wrong, do something today, do not sit around and wait for something bad to happen. I know you all wish your kids would talk to you more often, so if you do not have a good connection with your child, take at least ten minutes out of your day to ask how their day went, even if they seem uninterested inside they appreciate it and feel cared about. You need to make it clear that you will not get mad at any wrong choices they are making in their life but you will do your best to help them out. Once you form a trust relationship with your sons/daughters, you will find them telling you more and more every time. Considering I was in a dark place, I would have loved to have then what I now have with my parents. In most cases, it takes a horrible situation to make you and your kids close. Please do not let any situation spiral out of control, connect with your child now. Depression can come with any age, from situations of bullies in elementary school to peerpressure in highschool. So start communicating with your child little by little each day before they make a choice that's not too good for them. Everyone needs their parents. -Angela If you ever have any questions or would like me to talk to one of your teens, I've been through many experiences and will devote as much time to you as you would like. clownvixen@hotmail.com |
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May 10, 2007, 1:32 am PDT
Hello, I am 15 years old and I have been using the computer since around the age of seven years old. I have been taught well what not to say online and know the dangers of meeting people online. Me and my family were huge on internet gaming but not so much anymore. I will admit that I have met two people in the past two years from gaming online and one from myspace ALL with parent consent. My parents talked to the ones I was about to meet that were from out of town for a couple of months and knew that I knew both of them for a couple of years. The key to meeting people online is NEVER letting your guard down, do not tell them where you live under any circumstances. The first kid I met was 14 at the time and flew down from Texas since I met him around ten years of age and he seemed like a good friend. I got him and a personal friend I knew to start a long distance relationship. Although nothing went wrong, her parents made a huge mistake of telling him where they lived instead of meeting him somewhere in a public place first. The second guy I met was around the age of 23 also from online gaming, I met him earlier this year, he flew down from Canada and we saw a concert and went to Disneyland with my parents. For two years online, he didn't even know what city I lived in. I made sure he didn't know my adress. Me and my dad met him at a bus stop and got to know him to see if he wasn't a fake. He was real shy but expressed his opinions just like online. We then took him to his hotel and spent the week together, but never alone. I was in a long distance relationship with a 19 year old from Pennsylvania for about a year and I was ready to meet him. He wanted to move down here if he liked me as well as he thought he did and also go to college. I didn't think I was worth all of that and considering I was 14 at the time I felt as if I shouldn't make any huge choices like that and decided to cancel. I have in fact met one kid from myspace at a local mall with a group of people but only after talking to him for a few months. That went great and we still talk today. Everyone I have met online will continue to be friends. Parents do NOT let your guards down. If your child wants to meet someone online make sure you are with them at least in eye site and in a public place preferably inside. If you do not allow them to meet, they will do it behind your back. I'm sure you would rather know who your child is really going to meet. Just approach anything having to do with the internet with caution. Teach your kids the proper use of internet safety and show them things that can happen. You need to show them that these dangers are real. Here are links of clips from the series Dateline. Decoys pose as 13 year old and get grown men to drive to a house many hours away from them and get caught. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IHlKlWCQemY&mode=related&search= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5OZzp7HSKs&mode=related&search= http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L_kADup_wZw http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dq0sspghVi8&mode=related&search= Monitor what your kids are saying online as best as you can. As long as they are living in your house, you have a right to know. -Angela clownvixen@hotmail.com |
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May 10, 2007, 1:53 am PDT
I am currently 15 years of age and I have experienced being in relationships and having crushes. I do believe that waiting is better. My first love was discovered right at 14 years of age and we were three years apart. We split up once and were about to get back together when he decided to take his own life. After that I found it hard to connect with anyone. I tried dating guys who were more than ten to fifteen years older than me with parent consent and that worked out better. My parents know that I am a different kind of girl, I don't throw myself out there and try to make the impression that I sleep around. I am in fact still a virgin and I play hard to get, I believe if someone really wants me they will come after me. I have a hard time dating younger guys, I find myself attracted to much older guys. I can't ever see myself dating someone that isn't at least 10 years older than me. I don't know when I developed these weird thoughts, but they are there. I will not even try to connect with anyone younger because I just don't find myself attracted to them at all. I know one thing, I was born old. Lol. Parents out there, please try to talk some sense into your teens about dating. Explain to them not to date anyone unless you can see yourself with them in the future. There's no point in a relationship unless you think you may end up getting married with them. There is only two options in a relationship, you will break it off or get married, so think about that. I do understand that relationships at first are mostly getting to know someone in most people's eyes, but if you find yourself not really caring for that person before your together, then don't bother. You will definately have problems in the future. Don't cut your teen off from dating even if he/she is with someone you do not especially care for, teens have to live and learn. If you do tell them no and try groundation, just know they will see someone else behind your back. It's better to know than to be completely oblivious to the fact and then feel like an idiot when you find out. Since your are the parent, you do have to make sure he is treating her right. If both of the two love and care about eachother more than anything, there is nothing you can do to split them apart. We are all going to experiment and make the wrong choices, especially when it comes to relationships, but we all live and learn. -Angela clownvixen@hotmail.com |
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May 10, 2007, 1:44 pm PDT
Quote From: danamikayl What a great post Angela. You are so articulate and I love how you are learning now, on your own. I unschool my children and we all learn that way (on our own) because I believe that when forced to do a certain curriculum, we will not truly learn it unless we have an interest in it. My daughter will be 13 next month and we are going through some hard times as far as communication goes. We used to talk about everything, but now she seems to be shutting me out. I can see reasons that she is doing this though and I know I have a part in it. For instance, she is getting interested in boys and I see that, but she knows I will not allow her to date at this age, so I think that's why she doesn't talk to me about it. My daughter and I were always so close and would like to have that again, even if it's a different kind of closeness. any advice would be appreciated. you say that people tell you everyday that your not going to make it in life. I can tell that you WILL make it life. You are strong and determined and you are have such a kind heart to want to help people. I can't figure out why anyone who cares about someone would ever tell them such a thing. I love to hear from teens and see they are doing well in their home schooling environment. Thank you for that! Hope to see many more posts from you. I think you can add alot to this board and help parents out. We sure need it! With home schooling becoming more popular and you being so articulate, you may consider writing a book on your experiences with home schooling and LIFE in general, with all you have been through. Also I would like to suggest a book to you. It's called the teenage liberation handbook and it'a an AMAZING book for teens and their parents. It helps to relax me when I get into "panic mode". Great chatting with you Angela, Sherrilynn Thanks for the comments on my last post. I would have to agree with you about learning with a certain curriculum, it will not work unless that particular person shows an interest in it. I have heard of the "unschooling" technique, read lots of great things about it. In my opinion, schools do not teach things you really need to learn like how to pay the bills, balance a check book, or clean up around the house; these skills can only be taught at home and are best to be learned at a young age. Sorry to hear about your daughter, but usually little disagreements here and there will cause communication in any relationship to slowly stop. I know the dating thing is tough, but she may come home one day with a huge smile on her face telling you that she has a "boyfriend". I have two younger sisters, and a little brother; the next closest sister to me recently turned 13 and she shows really no interest in dating. I guess me and my sister have always looked for the more mature guys to be in a relationship with. I remember having little crushes and actually being in a relationship in third grade up until sixth grade, but of course they meant nothing at all. My sister was the same way, I think we've had our time to experiment and we've found out what love is not. I guess you have to use your best judgement as a parent and figure out how much you actually know about your daughter. If your daughter does not come off as being premiscuous or "off the chain" at home, then your worries shouldn't be quite as bad as most parents are but do talk to your daughter about dating with caution. If you don't feel as close to your daughter as you did, here's a little tip: If you don't go out now to do anything fun that a pre-teen would like to do such as the arcade, movies, mall, or whatever your daughter likes to do, start today. I know if you and your daughter find things in common with eachother, the communication line will slowly start opening up again. At least that's what my mom did, she tricked me, and it's still working to this day. :p I do have to admit though, I love going places with my mom and connecting with her, it didn't seem too fun at first because on the outside I was trying to hide that I was actually having fun when on the inside I loved it. I really do appreciate your comments. I will share my opinions on any topic and help out as best as I can. I have considered writing a book on my life experiences; there is so much I would like to talk about now but there's too much not to have in book form. I know once I start a book it may never be finished, I'd be adding more and more to it every day. I currently play the piano and that in a way tells a story itself. If you want advice on any topic, feel free to ask. I'll give my honest opinions and answer from most teens point of view. By the way, I will take a look at that book, I've read some reviews on it and it seems interesting. Thanks for the input! -Angela clownvixen@hotmail.com |
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May 10, 2007, 3:25 pm PDT
Quote From: danamikayl My daughter is also into music and she loves to sing. She just joined the adult choir at the church we used to go to. We no longer attend church, but she does enjoy going to sing and it's a great work out for her voice and it's free music lessons, so she can learn to read music.
My daughter will turn 13 next month and I want to do something really special. I'm not sure if it should be just the two of us, or a family thing with my hubby and her sister (6 years old). Do you have any suggestions? When she was little, I had always thought of this day and thought I would throw her a teen party,. but she is not into that and not very social, although she is coming around and she has one best friend that is turning 15 next month as well. I would love it if you could give me some suggestions. THank you so much! Sherrilynn Well, that's great that me and your daughter have something in common; I also love to sing. Being a parent and having your daughter become a "teenager" can be difficult I'm sure. Throw her two parties maybe? Have a family birthday party and then plan a little sleepover. But since your daughter isn't too social, you could just have a birthday party with everyone and then plan something special with your daughter. Let her invite her best friend, I'm sure she would love that. I'm not sure how close your family and relatives are, but the birthday party is just a suggestion. Maybe you should ask her for some ideas, you could always change up what she wants just a bit. :p It sounds to me like your daughter is very appreciative so it shouldn't be too tough. And you are absolutely right on the relationship topic. I could understand if maybe the boy she liked didn't have as much experience, but this boy might have too much for someone that's never been with someone before. Try to explain to her that if it's meant to be, they will still feel the same way about eachother in a few years and then they can see what happens. I'm sure this is just a temporary feeling, hopefully. :p And you have the right to nag, you are the parent, but remember, too much isn't good if you want an honest relationship with your daughter. One thing you do not want to do is scare her into thinking if she messes up she can't tell you because she will get in huge trouble. Every parent tries to be the perfect parent, it is impossible. As long as you try your best and your daughter realizes how much you do for her, you will seem like a super hero to her. Hehe, and everyone has hectic times and needs someone else to turn to for advice, EVERYONE. You seem like a great parent from what you've been saying and I know you want the best for your daughter. And by the way, stress causes us all to take it out on others in some way even when we don't notice, that's just how it is, I'm sure your daughter will see that some day. Nice chatting with you again Sherrilynn. I'll check back a bit later. -Angela By the way, I wrote your daughter back and I'm glad to know that people don't depend on one's age anymore when it comes to getting advice. clownvixen@hotmail.com |
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May 11, 2007, 12:55 pm PDT
Quote From: danamikayl And you have the right to nag, you are the parent, but remember, too much isn't good if you want an honest relationship with your daughter. One thing you do not want to do is scare her into thinking if she messes up she can't tell you because she will get in huge trouble. Every parent tries to be the perfect parent, it is impossible. As long as you try your best and your daughter realizes how much you do for her, you will seem like a super hero to her. As I read this, I thought how wise you are and how I really think you are going to make a difference in the world. You are insightful and helpful. I hope you never lose that. When I was young (about 12) I wanted to help teens somehow in fostercare. I was in fostercare for most of my young life and I wanted to help kids in a way that no one helped me. I guess I had the "I want to save the world" mentality and there is nothing wrong with that thinking, but as I got older I realized that to work in any goverment situation like that, I would have to conform and do things their way and I could not do that. I still think that one day I may end up in a related field. When I was 12 I was in group home after group home and workers came in on shifts to look after us. I would love to do that also, but again I think I would get fired, lol for being too much like myself. I can see a teen telling me that school sucks and me agreeing and shooting off my mouth about school and telling giving them the Teenage liberation handbook. I don't think I would last long, lol. I have been a stay at home mom for almost 13 years and I'm starting to want a little something of my own now that the girls are getting a bit older. Maybe something part time. I just don't know what I want to be when I grow up, lol. Where does a home schooling vegan mom fit in, lol? I know I will just be myself whereever I end up, but I want to feel like I can be me at whatever it is I decide to do. I would really like to work a few days a week. Are you working at all right now? My daughter has a babysitting job 2 days a week for neighbors across the street. She is at choir practise right now and my 6 year old is napping. She has a nasty cold. My hubby works full time at a University near by (ironic I know). It's nice though because if the girls do decide they want to go to University, it will be free as long as they pass. If they fail, we have to pay. Talk about pressure, lol. I would really be nagging them, lol.
I will have to think about the party thing, but I think it may be a good idea. We have other families that we could invite and we have a pool, so we could have a pool party. Maybe I could have an outdoor party and do something special in the way of getting a local band? I have no idea how to go around that, but could find out. I could also invite that boy she likes. I don't mind that when it's a supervised thing. Maybe you coudl give me some tips on what to do at the party to entertain teens? I don't want to do something I think will be cool and it ends up being embarassing for her. I know I want something to do with music. Maybe a kareoke (spelling?) thing would be cool. What if it rains though? hmmmm, will have to think about all this. I'm excited!!!!
Thanks for the comment, and making a difference is what I am aiming for. I know exactly what you are talking about, even in psychology I see that almost all of them are the same, they train them to be robots. I hope to overcome that and try and be the best I can be. I've still got so much to learn and many more experiences to come by that will help me with that goal. About the group home idea, I've got a group home right across the street from me and they all seem like themselves over there. Every time I look across the street I see the adults over there smoking and I think to myself, what a great influence on those kids. Almost every kid that is over there is because of bad behavior in foster homes and nobody wanted them. Hehe, wow, you really do have a strong opinion about school don't you? That's fine though because I do too, I notice any time it's mentioned I get a bit of anger in me and go off. You'll fit in somewhere, there are many things to do, but not much without a college degree. Just follow what you'll love, you'll fit in perfectly. My mom is already talking about doing something on the side as well, but my youngest brother isn't even in school yet, lol; I'm sure she's talking about when he's older. I am not currently working at the moment. I'm planning on taking my highschool equivilancy test when I turn 16 so I can get a full time job with whoever's insurance will cover someone under 18. A couple of years ago, I made a promise to myself that I will NOT work fast food or in any little gas staions. I guess I know I can do better than that. I figure I will start saving for college after I get my job; I'll go to our local community college for psychology and transfer out to a better college after attending as many years as I can. About the university plan, that's great. I'm sure your daughters will pass if they understand that if they do not, there will be a PRICE. lol Well, a pool party is always fun and throwing in a band is even better. If you know of any local bands in that area that your daughter likes, see if they have a myspace; you can talk to them on there and book it at your house. I would love a karaoke type party, that would be great if you know that many people would be participating. If your backyard is big enough, they rent out those giant shade type rain covers everywhere, you could get some of those :p Bah, you took all the good ideas, so I'll keep my mind active this weekend ;-) Well, just to let you know, I will be going camping for the weekend and won't reply until Sunday evening. My family and my friend's family go out about every two weekends to ride dirt bikes, it's quite fun, it's a great get away. Thanks for keeping up a conversation, if you want to conversate over the phone some time let me know. I'll just leave my cell number, I'm sure too many people won't call.... So many people online have my number that call on a daily basis just to talk, I don't have a problem with it though because they are all in their late 20s. :p 661-487-4588 -Angela clownvixen@hotmail.com |
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May 16, 2007, 12:53 pm PDT
Quote From: danamikayl Have a great time camping! I loved camping at your age. Now, it's just all work, lol. Sherriylnn Hello again, I'm finally back online. I've been a bit busy since I've returned home on Sunday. Anything exciting happen recently? |
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May 18, 2007, 10:34 am PDT
Quote From: danamikayl I have been really busy myself. This time of year is quite busy, now that I have outside work to do as well as inside. We have been doing some outdoor renovations. Hard work to do it ourselves, but so much more rewarding and a heck of a lot cheaper. I had to take my 6 year old to get cavities fillled, which broke my heart, but my hubby is great with that. I get so emotional and stressed. He held her hand and talked to her the whole time. He is awesome. My picture I have on here is a tattoo he got on his arm of me for Valentines day. He is a real sweetie. Not to say, he can't also drive me bananas from time to time, lol, but I'm positive I do the same to him. Dana received your e-mail and wrote you back. how was your camping trip? Do you have alot of friends? Talk to you later, Sherrilynn Have you started that book yet???? I know it could be a great one! Wow, you have been quite busy. We mostly do everything ourselves as well, it is nice to look at something and feel proud. Yeah, I still hate the dentist :p I know in the future I wouldn't be able to watch my six year old in that chair either. Your husband sounds like a great man, that was sweet of him to get a tatoo of you. Hehe, I'm sure everyone drives eachother crazy in relationships, but hey, that only makes a relationship more exciting. My camping trip was great, I had alot of fun. I have too many friends, but only a couple of true friends. I grew up mostly around boys, so that's mostly who's left. I've known one kid for 15 years now, and another for about 11 years. We all get along and it's great. I did have a close friend that is moving to Washinton today, at least we convinced him to stay one more week and it looks like the week is already gone. Hehe, I have pages and pages of some of my past experiences and thoughts. I suppose if I put it all together in an organized way it would be a huge start. I do want to go to the Convelesant home and start getting biographies before it's too late and the ones over there are forgotten. I've been asked so many times to gather up information to write a short book on someone's life. I will start that as a side project. Well, thanks for the reply, hope to read more from you. -Angela |
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June 23, 2008, 11:46 pm PDT
I have finally started my own diary, maybe I can get a few of you to respond. It feels like I'm longing for the attention that I haven't gotten in a while. Ever since I haven't been needed anywhere it's just been getting to me. Hell, I'm still young and I've already come across many issues with myself. The road ahead of me is going to be very long, very difficult. I just got done writing a long entry so I'm going to leave this post as is. Take care. |
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June 24, 2008, 2:00 am PDT
Wow. So here I was, spending an hour talking about my life. Finally. I can't even begin to express how frustrated I am right now! To hell with it. I'll just start over. Afterall, I'm longing for attention, that just proved it, desperate enough to write it all over again. Who the hell runs this site, logs you out after an hour and then erases everything you just wrote? Alright, I'm slowly getting over it. It just makes me mad. I finally decide to talk about my needs and personal issues and it gets thrown right back at me like always. I've been helping people for years and have never been able to talk about how I'm feeling. I've been writing in the "diaries" on here but it's just not satisfying enough, I need some input. I guess I'll just jump right back into this again. I see many of you quoting Dr. Phil, not me. Don't get me wrong, he is a very intelligent man, but he underestimates ones of my age. I take it he has never met someone like me? I know it's hard for people to have faith in us, but your future is in our hands. Think about it, your future doctors, mental health experts, scientists, experimentalists and any other profession you can think of is going to be ran by this generation of "kids". It's very scary when you think about it. I always think about the future, hell, I practically live in it. My mind is blank, it wasn't before the site erased it all. This proves writing really does help temporarily. So I went on for about a half hour talking about me secluding myself and being emotionally unstable Nobody ever sees it, I tend to slowly get away from a situation once it heats up too much for me. The last time I cried in public? Three years ago when I found out the guy I was dating at the time ended his life. I felt it was my fault, I still blame myself for it. Why couldn't I have helped him? Why was I so selfish? If only I could have told him how much I actually liked him. I have an attachment issue, I finally got over it a few months ago, but not for long. I started having an interest in another guy and after getting to know eachother he attempted suicide. He failed, the police found a note with my name in it and put it off on me like it was my fault. What is it about me that drives people to the point of this? Do people really see my sadness which puts them into a depression type state? Well, if my family even sees me writing on any type of medical page I know they will want to see what's going on with me. I can't even begin to fathom what they would think if they found out. I know parents though, I too would be concerned and would want to invade on my son or daughter's peronal issues. Speaking of kids, I won't be able to have any for years. Be sure to fix your own personal problems before having kids. I have years left to come, the thought of having kids just scares me. Bah, I'm going to end this. I'm probably sounding ignorant from lack of sleep and this desperate attempt for attention I've been longing for so long. While it's on my mind, I need to bring one more thing up. Dr. Phil is a terrible, yet great man. Think about it, he puts many people's issues out there all over the globe for our enjoyment. How low is that? I'm sure a lot of those people can't afford real help so they turn to the show. Dr. Phil is a perfect example of how money can turn one of the nicest people into a horrible person. If you don't believe me the evidence is sitting right in front of you, just look around this whole web site! I don't mean to make Dr. Phil out as a bad guy, I'm sure he's a great person. Hell, I'm sure he has problems of his own, everyone does. I'm sure he'd never come out in the open with any of them, maybe he's like me in a way. Bah, there I go again, obsessing. I'm sure I'm going to read this tomorrow and make no sense, I will not be surprised. I'm doing this for me, I need it. I admit I have alot of problems, we all do. We all wonder around this life trying to find that one purpose in life, that one reason why we are here. All these questions with no answers, even the answers we do come up with have no real evidence. Answers are just another thing we use for comfort, think about it. Without some kind of answer we would all be going crazy. Well, after keeping within myself for as long as I have, I think I have the right to say I'm driving myself crazy. Time for bed. Sleep deprivation and three hours of writing is really taking it out on me. Take time to help yourself with your own problems. Don't end up like me. I don't even know who I am anymore. Lucky for you, all of the meaningful things I wrote were erased in the last message, this isn't even half of what I had! Maybe it was meant to happen. Maybe it's meant for me to be trapped inside, silently screaming for help. At least I know others will come to me with no problem. Bah, time for bed. I'm done. |
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