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Messages By: nala32

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April 13, 2007, 7:46 am CDT

Aiding and abetting

It is too bad that we cant keep sex offenders in jail.  Where are they from that digitally molesting your grandchild could potentially be LEGAL? The grandfather did a fraction of  time in prison, the grandmother SHOULD be charged with facilitating and child endangerment.They are called sociopaths. The child will live in a personal prison of shame and guilt for the rest of her life. Knowing where your "vagina" is  or what to call it does not protect you. Cant children spend just a couple of their years with blissful ignorance? For Grace, her grandparent taught her to trust no one, and now she is cursed with an awareness that is 15 years  premature. Statistically they have now opened the window for her to be sexually assaulted again. Hell is on earth.

 

 

 
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April 14, 2007, 8:13 am CDT

Enough damage has been done

  Knowing that 'Grandpa' has every intention of doing it again why not let him come over then call the police and have him arrested again?Predators rely on shame and silence to cloak them.   I live every day struggling with the fact that my childhood abuser is free and uncharged, my parents told me it was natural curiosity and  did NOTHING. When I  was  date raped years later, and held captive for hours I repeated the do nothing process and live with utter shame that ,I DID NOTHING. I hold myself responsible for any harm the two of them do to anyone else. Grace can look back to Dr Phil's transcripts and assure herself that grandpa is one sick b*****d and that at her young age she has done more than most of us.

To let him back into her life including 'Grandma' the family risks any progress she has made and since Grandma blames ONLY herself  (and she should) she is just as dysfunctional  and immoral. The two of them also raped their son and daughter-in-law of their trust and respect. I hope Graces other grandparents are decent and can help fill the void.

 
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April 17, 2007, 9:28 am CDT

04/16 The Dr. Phil House: Saving Grace, Part 2

Quote From: kennyllc

Seems I only post here when I have a gripe.

Why must families and children keep worrying about these molesters?

Well, the reason, and the way I see it is this:

The legal system and professionals drag these things out as long as they can draw money for legal fees and "treatment" pay.

In the end, the psychiatric field, including doctor Phil, hypocritically tells the child that suffered the abuse that "grandpa is sick". So even people like doctor Phil wind up justifying the mans actions and misleading the child into wishing well for the pervert. Perhaps even to the point where she will embrace him once again and feel sorry for him.

A simpler solution would be a 35 cent bullet in the molester's head so that these toothless lions cannot come and claim the dying carcass before it is deceased. Otherwise they will coddle it and shelter it and nurse it back to health so that it can be put back out in the public in order to spread it's plague of intentional evil once again.

This is exactly what the system keeps doing. It is just a roaring lion with no teeth.

Eight months in the county jail ? Eight months ???!!!!!!

Is that all he had to do ?  

A guy who stole a circular saw did 6 in my county.

 

 

 

  Grace barely understands why it was wrong. To really explain it to her is to rob her of what innocence she has left. We know less how to deal with victims than perverts. Your way is fool proof but, We've seen the outcome of family striking back and being put in jail FOR LIFE!! Eight Months is actually a long time for a sex offense and only beacuse she was a child. Had Grace been an adult she would have to prove she wasen't a "slut " before any charges would be filed. The reason over half of victims dont file charges . Judicial system sets the bar Ok to rape people, Not OK to steal.  we paid for that a-hole to stay in jail.  
 
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April 17, 2007, 10:14 am CDT

not just men

Quote From: kamezcua407

It makes me sick to my stomach to know that there are men out there that will deny and act like they did nothing wrong when it comes to situations like this.  While watching the show I litterally felt like I needed to vomit.  It brought back so many memories of my childhood.  Seven years ago I finally told the truth about what my dad had done to me as a child.  If only I had the courage that "Grace" had to tell my mom or a family member I would have done it sooner.  But I did tell and now that man who was my dad for all those years is now sitting in a prison for the rest of his life for his actions.  That is where he should have been many years ago but I was too scared to tell anyone.  Dr. Phil I admire what you do and love watching your shows.  You bring so much inspiration to me and others I know for being the only talk show host to discuss and be so honest about topics such as this one. 

Women can and have molested children also. I;m glad he's serving time and hope you no longer fear him or what he did to you.
 
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April 20, 2007, 7:36 am CDT

Self Absorbed

Wow Dr Phil . If that woman has anymore surgery she will no longer look human. How does her husband listen to her? Is that his life? She is the most uninteresting human being maybe thats why she only talks about surgery and what is wrong with her face. I feel so bad for her children they cant feel comfortable in their own skin around her,  what a terrible example for them of what a woman should stand for. Step ford wife is all I can think of. As for the other "Mother",  another example of  non existent parenting. What a charming example she has set for her son. Wont she be happy when he brings his first selfish, addictive girlfriend home? Or when he follows in her footsteps of littering the planet with his spawn and not feeling like he should have to take care of them, after all his mom didn't have too.
 
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April 26, 2007, 3:26 pm CDT

Fast as you can

 This woman needs to do only one thing RUN RUN RUN!!!!!! There is absolutely no more work to be done. He has shown her all she needs to see, Not only is he a homely creepy little man he makes and acts as  mascot for gods sake. He admitted he was a bit in the small "down there" way. What is he doing to make himself attractive to her? Whats in it for her to stay? I'm glad she's looking to date already but she should go to therapy first so she dosen't find another creepshow. She should sleep in battered women for 2 months before she ever contemplates her children witnessing another day of them being held captive with this rapist.(Sleeping sex is not consensual).I will recap: RUN.Jennifer.RUN
 
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April 27, 2007, 9:18 am CDT

twisted

Quote From: bestinlife

Some of you ladies on here, I apologize for having to go through such horrific nightmares.  Being a man myself, I know what Jeffrey is feeling.  I cannot, however, relate to what Jennifer is doing.  How could a woman with three children and a husband turn on her own family so she can bar hop?  This has to do with a woman's desire to feel attractive and get attention.  I've seen this far too many times.  At first, women in high school think of marriage, having children, owning a home, and driving the nice car.  Most importantly, being married to Prince Charming.....O you sleeping beauty women out there.  Perhaps if you stopped acting like Barbie Dolls, desiring all men to snatch you from your fantasy land, and expecting men to be perfect, then perhaps things would go well for you.  But you create standards that are impossible.  You want the fancy life, the high light attraction, the large amount of money, and a great husband, but you expect it from Prince Charming.  And after realizing these things dont come true, you cheat!  You bar hop, speak badly of your husbands to your friends, and you give in to sexual fantasy and desire!  This tends to happen quite a bit to middle aged women!  You try living the young life again because youre tired of being a home body.

 

Now some of you (both men and women) are bad anyways and no nothing of family values.  Some of you are indeed innocent and have had husbands which treated you badly no matter how good you treat your husband.  But its apparent that Jennifer has never treated her husband rightly, and any sign of affection she gives is mere superficial and not genuine.I saw this a lot in yesterdays show.  Jeffrey is hurting badly and needs help, and from experience, its hard coping with betrayal from a woman you love so much.  AND YOU FOLKS OUT THERE claiming hes possessive, you are right to some degree, but I wouldnt entitle it as possessive, but desiring.  He loves and desires his wife.  Whether physical or emotional is a different subject, and based on what Ive seen at this point, its more physical.  But Jeffrey is sex starved!  And dont count him as a bad person because hes sex starved.  Apparently, Jennifer is not sex starved at all!  Typical woman too!

 

Jeffrey's mistake is the same thing.  He expected a loving wife from sleeping beauty.  From what I've learned about Barbie dolls, they only want to be touched and admired by the public.  Jeffrey made a huge mistake by digging himself into a deeper hole.  But what person retains their right mind when someone they love has betrayed them?  His heart is torn in pieces and he doesn't know how to react.  She cheated on him twice before, and I'm pretty sure she kept on doing it because he permitted it.  But any action on his part to stop her from cheating, you folks calls "Control".  Well, who is out of control here?  Was it not his wife?  Was she not putting her physical needs (bodily attraction, tanning beds, and night-life sex) ahead of her family?  And does this family not include the husband?

 

This is where some of you women are going wrong.  You say, "Leave him for yourself and for your kids....."  There you go!  It's just you and the kids.  Already the assumption is made that any part of the family is based on her desires, settings, and rules.  I'm sick of women thinking that children are to be fully involved with the mothers life, but the father is only permitted a specific and limited right to children.  Our rights are "PAY" but any action to make sure the money we pay is strictly for the children is considered spying, nosy, or untrusting.  We're told, "Just pay the money; at least you're doing your part..."  That's foolish because cops do more than just inform the public of wearing seat belts!  They issue tickets to those who are not wearing it; this is for our safety.  In the same way, we fathers want more than just paying support.  We want to make sure our children are receiving this money, and not the spouse or their new b/g friends.

 

Now I mentioned this because Jeffrey is suffering from two things here.  He knows his wife is cheating, and he's trying to keep his marriage together.  He also knows that if his wife leaves, it's not just her he lost, but his children as well.  She doesn't suffer from this because she doesn't love him (probably never has).  She'll find someone because she put enough trash on her myspace to catch men.  What will happen is she'll end up with stronger competition from a man who wants her body, but not her.  And if he cheats, she'll find out just how painful it can feel.  I bet if Jeffrey cheated on her, she wouldn't care because she doesn't love him.  She's apparently not attracted to him anymore.

 

When my ex wife left me and took my son, of whom I can hardly see anymore, it nearly drove me insane.  After time, I met someone better than her, and now I have no regrets except not being able to see my son....thanks to her controls....YES women continue to control the husband even after divorce.  So you ladies who play victim here, you are controlling in your own ways, just as Jennifer is in hers.  Most importantly, she'll end up controlling Jeffrey for the next many years of his life, using the kids as her weapon....watch!  It happens far too many times in today's time.

 

For those of you who actually have had abusive husbands, I apologize for your suffering.  But for those of you like Jennifer, I feel no pity except for the kids.  Why?  Because she caused this by cheating, and he caused this by his lack of self control.  Both sides are guilty, but the cause of the problem is Jennifer.  And don't give me that "I don't care what the she did crap....." because if she loved her husband, she would have put him and her children first, before her no pants and no shirt life!

 A lot of couples have actually recovered and grown closer after an affair.  The difference here is that this man has stopped supporting his family so he can violate every last bit of his own self worth.  Not to mention raping and violating the woman who he said he loves.Why are you men so mad at women for having an identity beyond her husband. He admits to ruining her credit. He has lied and manipulated. Fake vasectomy?! who cuts their own penis??This man is going to lose his children because he has lost his mind not because she manipulated it. I think  both are at fault for two things: co-dependenceand staying together. Who wants a spouse who HATES you? Why would you fight for it? He shows and takes pictures of her nude, why cant she?

 
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April 27, 2007, 10:31 am CDT

04/27 Obsessive Love: The Drama Continues

Quote From: dailykelly

You need to seek the same help that Jennifers husband is going to get - wow, what a diluted sense of reality!!

 Jeff isn't going to get help. He dosen't think he needs it. I guess you think once your married you are the property of your mate.And free will no longer exists. I doubt counceling for being a creepy insecure man would help me I would never lose my sense of self in any relationship. or waste money on a GPS for someone I knew I couldn't trust.

 
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April 27, 2007, 7:12 pm CDT

sacrifice

Quote From: grandpa1212

Yesterday and today, I was glued to the TV. While looking at Jeffrey and Jennifer, I saw our son-in-law and our daughter. Our son-in-law didn't do as many terrible things as Jeffrey or maybe he wasn't caught on all of them). But he is a textbook case of a paranoid control freak with similar anxiety attacks, unable to sleep, work or eat, waking his wife up at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning, crying like a baby, pleading for her not to leave him, pacing back and forth like a caged animal and puking.

Our daughter has hired a lawyer and filed for divorce. He has hired and fired 4 or 5 lawyers, because none of them tell him what he wants to hear. He goes to a counselor but doesn't follow any of her advice. Instead he tries to tell her what to say to his wife.

Like Jeffrey, he is terrified of having to live without the victim of his controlling behaviour. Like Jeffrey, he has so far never resorted to doing physical harm to his wife, but plenty of mental and emotional harm. Lots of demeaning and belittleling things.

He thinks that all this is everyones fault, but his. Therefore he won't get help. I guess, what he needs is a Dr. Phil to wake him up but we can't drag him there.

And our 2 little grand daughters will suffer more than anyone and we live a thousand miles away, like Jennifer's family. What can we do?????????

 

Show him and your daughter that its only 6 hours to get 1,000 miles on a plane. That way she's not all alone without support. If you can send one member at a time,help her and the children.The more he sees the family circling the wagons less power he has. Good luck

 
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April 27, 2007, 7:43 pm CDT

Beautiful

Quote From: positivity_07

I am in a startlingly similar situation.  My marriage is also rapidly unraveling because of the same possessive, inhumane behaviors from my spouse.  That's right - inhumane.  Jeffrey is treating his wife like a piece of property, in essence, a domestic slave and possession.  To him, she is the trophy wife, a prized possession, a beautiful woman to be kept as his domestic and sex slave, and she will be shared with no one.  He has purposefully financially disabled her the same way a master disables a slave to prevent him/her from leaving and keep him/her in bondage.  He has socially isolated her and even tried to take ownership of her body by controlling it; hoping to make her pregnant against her will to disable her from being a breadwinner (it would be difficult to stand on her own with four young children and the staggering cost of daycare).  In the days of slavery, many prominent white men who took ownership of their African-American slaves' bodies by raping and impregnating them.  It is a way of disabling the woman, making her dependent, and  preventing her autonomous existence.

Unfortunately, this scenario is far more prevalent than we realize.  Women need to take charge of their bodies, their finances, and their social network, and not let any person disable them to the point that they cannot survive alone.  Jeffrey has enslaved Jennifer, and this is not marriage.  He should be locked up for cruelty and "domestic enslavement."  There's a new phrase for our flawed judicial system, which only recognizes physical abuse as abuse.  Domestic enslavement should be punishable by law.



I hope your current situation doesn't exist for too long.  I hope this is your moment of clarity and it pushes you to reach deep and find a  safe,secure place for yourself. And sell novels to support yourself. You explain this so beautifully.Be Well.
 

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