Messages By: rgse90

I just want to comment on the show you had on about the step father. I am 42 years old. Without going into great detail at this time, of which i could write a book on, we grew up with a monster step mother. Although I never lived with her, the abuse she created for my 2 sisters and I was incredible. The jealousy she had and the spiteful things she did just to ensure that we knew she was his new husband and we were part of his old life. she divided an entire family. she alienated all of my fathers ties with his first wife, including all his old friends, his 3 children and his brothers and sisters and his own mother was part of this circus she had created. She threw out my sisters at different times and they both had psychological problems and the 3 of us suffer from rejection today making it hard folr the 3 of us to have relationships with people.

The only one that mattered in our life was our grandmother because she protected us from all the evil my fathers step wife created in all of our lives. for my grandmothers 90 b-day party she did not show up. When we were kids she made sure that we all knew that my father had been with her almost allthe years he was married to our mother and she threw this in our faces to be spiteful and hurt us, which she accomplished.

What I saw on tv waqs nothing compared to what the 3 of us have had to live with and as adults the affects have been long lasting and we still suffer from rejection even after all the therapy we have been through. What I have seen through out all my years and now as an adult at age 42 I can tell you that she proved to be just like the man on your show. she lowered herself to our level when we were kids and she acted worse than a kid would act in a situation. she was spiteful and nasty and she made sure that all parts of my fathers old life was wiped out and she brought in her own family to replace us. She moved him away from us so we would not have contact with him and than she would try to play the hero when we had problems, of which she had caused most of them any way.

at 42 years old, I hate my father with a passion and hate what he stood for all the years he ignored the terrible things she did to us. as of today I have no relationship with my father and do not care if i ever speak to him again. He failed us as a father, as a friend, as a family member, as an adult, and as a human being. But despite all the negative the 3 of us had to live with we are holding our own and trying to make it as adults. the only positive influence we had in our lives was our grandmother who had to raise us, because our mother was a deep born again Christian, which we now have come to realize that our fathers affair all those years might have caused her to look else where for love and relationship, something that our father did not give our mother because he was having an affiar all those years.

We know what these kids are going through and we are glad that you have caught adults on tape acting worsed than the kids. it is about time that someone has recorded and brought to the airwaves step parents acting out. this is more of a reality than you think. they become jealous and hateful towards the other persons old life and they do everything they can to cut off all old ties.

I know several people who have raised their children, either drunk or on drugs or both, IE: 1 mom with 4 kids and 1 mom with 1 child, both raised their kids drunk/drugs and never stopped. My family ignored the problem or did not want to get involved because it was not their business. When I got older to finally get involved and I tried with both parents to take on responsibility to either help or volunteer to raise these kids, I was told that they would rather have these kids raised by their mom's, than a gay couple.

IE: mom with 4 kids=1 kid that ended up in jail, 1 kid that was taken by the state, 1 kid that ran away to have kids at 15 years old just to get out of the house and 1 kid that was taken by the kids father. Believe it or not all 4 kids had 4 different fathers. 3 of which are dead today and mom is still not right. Other parent ran to another state so we would not know what was going on.

The reality is that for most families they feel it is better to ignore the problem than face it head on. AND for alot of these mom's, they did not grow up in a right home either. 2 wrongs do not make a right BUT Parents have to take responsibility for their mistakes and not blame the children. Parents lead the example and than try to cop out. The only people that will suffer innocently is the kids because they did not ask to be brought into this world.

Take action regardless of what people, friends or family will say about you for trying to help. WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK. Those kids will remember that you tried to help and one day will thank you for trying even if it got no where. They will remember that you interceded. They will also remember if you willingly ignored the problem and sometimes will hold you responsible for ignoring it all along. I would rather try and be hated than ignore and be held accountable for what i knew and what I ignored. Think about it. WHO CARES WHAT OTHERS THINK ABOUT YOU, JUST HELP THESE KIDS, PLEASE HELP WHEN YOU CAN.

example: Amy and Debbie, Amy is a very spoiled brat who is the product of a mother that probably made excuses for everything she did all her life. This mother made the child a very irresponsible adult who should have the kids taken away from. Where is child services to take these kids from her if she is not taking care of the,

I am not sure where the father is, but if the father is still around, he should get involved and allow his daughter Maria to be what Maria wants to be and not what Veronica wishes she had been. It only goes to show you how attitude can ruin not only your life, but in this case her daughters life as well. The kids acted better than the adults. The kids should all be rewarded for their maturity and the way they all handled themselves. It is a shame that the parents acted the way they did and how they should all be reprimanded for their actions.

Veronica should not be allowed to have her daughter and the way she is forcing her daughter to be in a life that the mother really wants. This show, if it did anything, proved that the parents most of the time can ruin it for the kids all of the time. SHAME ON YOU VERONICA AND I HOPE THAT YOUR DAUGHTER LEARNS HOW TO DISCONNECT FROM YOU AND GO ON HER OWN, IN FINDING HERSELF AND NOT BECOME WHAT YOU WISHED YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN. You cannot live your life through your kids. If you think you are a failure you cannot blame your kids for that. they did not ask to be born.

I think that Veronica has become the classic example of what not to do when raising your kids. I am sorry but if you came on the show and wanted the world to see the real you, I can only imagine what you are like in real life. How many people really do not like you and how many opportunities your daughter has missed because of you and your attitude. HMMMMM makes me wonder.

Randy is the big problem there. He seems like a very nice person deep down but I think he has something more going on with himself. He appears to have serious issues with his sexuality. I think that he may have a problem with himself understanding that he might be gay and he is either not understanding it nor does he not want to accept it. He is definitely suffering from lack of attention. He needs alot of attention that he is not getting and he is extremely sensitive. I think he is more in love with her brother than with her.

Doesn't Dr. Phill see this. It is very obvious. He needs help in accepting his sexuality. I think that he needs time away from her and he needs to get help in accepting his sexuality. I hope that he stops hurting himself the way he does and accepts his sexuality and stops hiding it behind this girl. A lot of guys are in the same situation Randy is in and there is help out there for them. It just takes admiting it first and than acting it out. This way, he ends up hurting himself, the girl, the family and anyone else that is involved with this. If he gets help he probably will stop the lying and stealing he is doing to get the attention he is looking for. Once he accepts himself he no longer has to fight to get attention like he is doing now.

Many people have been in this position and it sucks. But once you come to love yourself and accept yourself and live the life that makes you happy, you will find that lying and stealing are really not apart of you and they were a cover to cry for help with your confusion of your sexuality.

Dr. Phil, unless you really cannot see that he is crying for help and he is gay, than I hope that you get hoim the proper help he needs. I have been exactly in the position he is in and he needs help. If he does not get the help he needs now, he may try to commit suicide some where down the road. He is crying out for help and no one is catching it. He is gay and needs to be comfortable in his sexuality. I have been there, help him now before it is too late.,

Ask the children? If Dr. Phi was to ask the children, in secret, without exposing what they say to the parents he would find out how bad the parents really are and hop they are using the children to get even with their ex-spouses. In the end the children will figure out the truth and decide later on in life which parent did the most harm and the parents better hope the kids forgive them for all the horrible things they did to each other through the kids. I know I lived through it and it was horrible. My sisters and I have had hard lives because of it and we have suffered through our lives with the memory of it. It has scarred us so bad that we have had problems growing up properly. and yes we do have to learn to live our own lives and do our own things but we have these horrible role models to go by and unfortunately you have to try to figure out on your own what is really right and what is really wrong with no help from the parents.

These parents are horrible and they have no idea the harm that they are doing to the kids because of it. And the mother is really way off because she has full custody and the kids are with are more she should be more of an example but she is definitely jealous and every other word out of her mouth goes back to the jealousy issue no matter how hard she tries to cover it up.

I lived the horrible life these kids are living now and all I can say is that my prayers are with you and I hope that someone in your family finally steps up and says something, like a grandmother or an aunt or uncle because in my family they all ignored the issues and allowed us to be abused in the very same manner that you are being abused now. it is up to the grandmother, aunts uncles and any one else that sees this to step up and do something on behalf of the kids because in the end the kids are going to appreciate everything you did for them and how hard you tried to help them get out of that bad situation. because unless you lived through this it is horrible and crazy and both parents try to make you hate the other one and both new flings hate the kids too and they don;t make matters better either. with everyone lying you have no idea who really is telling the truth anymore including the kids. HMMMMM makes you wonder is marriage really worth it anymore. MARRIAGES, FLINGS, STEPS, 2ND MARRIAGES, NEW FLINGS, NEW STEPS, 3RD MARRIAGES, NEW NEW FLINGS, KBRAND NEW STEPS, RULES, MORE RULES, DIFFERENT RULES, MY RULES, THEIR RULES, OUR RULES, FORGET THOSE RULES THIS IS MY HOUSE, MEET MY NEW WIFE NO MY NEW NEW WIFE, DO TALK TO THAT WIFE BUT THIS WIFE NOW, NO NOT THAT ONE BUT THIS ONE. YOU ARE MY FRIEND NOT HER FRIEND BUT MY FRIEND, HMMMMM THINGS THAT MAKE YOU GO HMMMMMMMMMMMM

THAN YOU WONDER WHY KIDS ARE GROWING UP ALL SCREWED UP, THE PARENTS THATS WHY