Messages By: rgse90

I was a teenager. I told lies. lies that I knew would gain me the respect of my family and friends. You asked the question why would this teenager say something so damaging. I will tell you why. There are a few reasons why I told lies when I was young. One reason would be to get myself out of trouble. To take the light off of me and put it on someone else. The next reason would be to gain recognition from my friends. to be the one that was the first to do something. In this case, the first to have an experience with a girl. the nest reason would be to fulfill my own evil thoughts. to make my own fantasy come true. when i lied i would actually sit down and think out the lie from start to finish. i would look at it from my own perspective to that of my friends and try to understand it from an adult point of view so that i could try to stay consistent. I am not happy about my lies but I will tell you that as a child I was good at it.   Adults are very quick to say kids are kids and kids know this. As a kid i knew that adults would listen to our lies and i knew that if i got bad grades or i did something my parents would find out about i knew how to tell a lie to get the bad that i did almost erased away and get my parents to listen to my lies to not get in trouble and most of the time it worked. the more it worked the more lies i told to get myself out of trouble. Do not think that kids do not think through lies and distortions to get out of trouble. You are mistakenly wrong about that.

Why is it so hard for people to understand that kids will and do lie? Many kids feel that they have to fit in. As a kid, you feel that you are not one of the guys. Making up something that will get ourselves out of trouble was invented by kids. Why would 3 kids say that a they had sex with a teacher, to get back at her? To pay her back for reprimanded them in class, or giving them a grade they don't like, or for not taking their own advances, or just to fit in. I said from the start with this case that I did not believe that this teacher was guilty and I feel that the dr. Phil show has made it public and has allowed this teacher some type of vindication.

 

These kids will pay for their mistakes in life because "what goes around comes around" whether they will be cursed by their own lies is yet to be seen, I.E. drugs, jail, rape, and yes even a disease that kills them, life hands out a deck of cards that only we have dealt and if you make up lies like this and try ti hurt someone who is innocent like this teacher, than yes they deserve whatever life deals them. I am sorry for being so harsh but these kids knew what they were doing when they made up the lies to begin with.

 

As for the teacher, teachers should not be so young and be teaching kids who are almost close to their age. I am sorry but when I went to school every one of my teachers were my grandmothers age or so it seemed. I never had a teacher that looked like that. these young teachers should be placed with younger students and as they get older they can progress into the older classrooms. Everyone who grows up starts wishing at some point that they were young again and when that happens you try to be young and in this case she tried to keep her youth at the same time she was trying to teach and that is not good.

 

KIDS LIE.  Parents need to see that kids will say anything to get out of trouble, face it. See it believe it know it and practice it. the faster everyone understands this fact the faster people will understand that kids lie. Do not believe everything your child tells you especially when they see and hear this stuff on TV because they may try to use it to get out of trouble and look how it almost ruined this teachers life. It could be said about anyone. just watch your child better. I was young and i lied to get out of trouble and my parents and yes even the DR. believed me. I am glad that now i grew up and I watch everything  I say and will not lie because I now understand how lies can hurt others.

It is quite apparent that you, DR. Phil, have never dealt with people like Michelle. People like Michelle seem to be in competition with their husband's mothers and people like Jay want everyone to love his soon to be bride and respect her only until they no longer want to be together than they want everyone to start hating the woman he is fighting for right now. This girl Michelle will keep fighting with her mother in law until she no longer gets a responses from her. This girl has another side to her that no one sees. She hides it well keeps it from her husband and only reveals it when she is alone and able to lash out against her mother in law and than plays the innocent angel. I am telling you this girl is trouble.     I am also telling you that for a fact, go back and see this couple in 2 years, if it can even last that long and he will be divorcing her and trying to get everyone to hate her and than he will admit that she was the problem all along. he sold his soul to the devil and he is whipped like the rest of these guys that cannot see past their wives evil ways. I have seen this many many times and this is not original. Yes, mothers can be over bearing but most of the time it is the new girl in the picture that is starting all the trouble and will not let it go. And eventually the husband does get fed up, but only after causing all of this destruction along the way. I am sorry but sometimes situations cannot be helped and this is one of them. less than 2 years I give this couple and they will be divorced, sorry to say.   HE IS SO WHIPPED IT IS NOT FUNNY. AND HE NEEDS TO STEP UP AND BECOME A MAN. AND IF HE IS A COP OR AFFILIATED WITH THE POLICE HE IS AN EMBARRASSMENT AND I CANNOT SEE HOW A MAN LIKE THIS CAN BE IN A POSITION TO HELP OTHER PEOPLE. I CAN ONLY HOPE THIS GUY IS NOT SOMEONE THAT OTHERS RELY IN BECAUSE HE IS A WIMP AND ONLY AFTER HE LEAVES THIS GIRL WILL HE SEE HOW MUCH OF A MAN HE IS NOT.

 I love Dr. Phil. But lately I have been wondering how much of the show is really on the air and how much of commercials this show has. So every minute I documented the show and this is what I came out with.

 

roughly

 

17:00 of commercials

12:39 of recaps of what is to come which we would see when the show came back or what we saw

25:45 of the actual show and giving serious advice to serious problems

3:29 of what is next on Dr. Phil in the days to come

 

Something is wrong with this. I mean how can you have a show and it seems that it is always going to commercials. Is it me? I mean other people have to see this. It is getting very annoying because we want to see more of the actual show and how he can help these people seriously. It is getting very frustrating and if I do not TIVO the show I will not watch it because I cannot stand all the rhetoric surrounding the show I just want to see the show and that is it. So I fast forward everything but the show and I realized that it only came to 25 minutes of a real show. I am curious how others feel about this.

I hope that you get to read this. I went through a very similar time in my life. I was a PO for 20 years. I was accused of something I did not do because a boss can say wherever he wants. I was cleared in trial but fired anyway. I went into a depression of feeling guilty that I was the ultimate bread winner yet I failed at my ability to provide. Like you I have someone that has stood by me and has helped me through this. I am now trying to reposition myself because I cannot allow the job to take hold of my life. The saying goes "It is better to be tried by 12 than carried by 6" only you know what happened that night. Only you know the fear you had when faced with the possibility of not being able to go home at the end of your tour and be there for your family. Well, you were vindicated in trial but the job still will not take you back. That is there loss. But your life does not have to end because you are not a cop. Forget it. You are home to see your kids.

 

Forgive yourself. Appreciate that you are home for your children. Appreciate that you can grow old with your children. You think you failed once but in reality you are failing right now. You are depressed because you think that you could have only been a cop. Most cops get into that mode and think this is the only thing they could do. That is not true.  You can do anything you want. You can be anything you want. The PD is not the only thing you ever could have done.  Go out there and find something to do that you like. Get out of the cop mode. Get out of the cop thing. It is over. I understand that you will not get your pension, so what.  You came home at the end of your tour like you wanted to do. You did what you set out to do. You came home to your family. Would you have rather have that the perp got the best of you. NO. You came home at the end of your tour.

 

You can get through this but you have to put the job behind you. Just say to yourself that when you went out at the beginning of your tour your goal was to come home at the end of the day. You did that. It is over and done with. You are not a failure you are actually a real hero because you did what you set out to do at the beginning of your tour, you came home to your family. Screw the job, you are alive because of your training and your skills and your ability to come home at the end of the day. You are an example to every officer that you used your training and came home. No one can decide what was going through your head when you were faced with possible death. No one.

 

I hope you understand and you can always email me to talk because I understand exactly what you are going through. But it is not the end of your life it is the start of a new life. It is the beginning of your new life. Forget the job. The job lost out when they got rid of you.  DO NOT LET THE JOB GET TO YOU. That is what they want. They want you to be a failure. But you are a hero and you are not giving yourself the proper credit for coming home at the end of your tour. So now I want you to say to yourself I came home at the end of the day and did what I set out to do. Thank God I am alive because of my training and my will to survive as well as my ability to come home and be with your family.  Who cares what everyone else thinks. What is most important is what your family thinks of you. Maybe you should reposition yourself by getting out of the house your in and move. Either out of the town or just into another house. The house you are in is bringing you down because that is the house the job was paying for. Maybe for you, you need to start over in a new house. I hope and pray for better days. You will get through this as soon as you process that you did exactly what you set out to do, you came home at the end of your tour, your are a hero. You can email me anytime. RGSE90@aol.com. We can chat about this problem. We can work it out together because unless you have been through this job no one can understand the mind set that we were in because we were cops. It is almost a personality that you cannot change. But that is because we allowed it to be that and over take us that way.

 

I understand what you are going through. I understand how you feel and how the job got a hold of you. But today is the beginning of the first day of your new life. You need to get rid of everything that reminds you that you think that being a cop was the only thing you could have done. You are a hero to your family. You are strong and you are well trained. Use that knowledge and put it into something else now. Know that you are a hero and be done with that. If you look like you made a mistake and it was your fault people will think and treat you like you are guilty and not want to hire you. Screw that. You are a hero act like a hero and move on. When you go for a job and need to write PD as a reference put in there that you did your job and came home at the end of your tour for your family. You acted in self defense as you are taught by the job. The job because of their need to bow to public pressure and the need to be political rather than be caring and nurturing for the cops let you go because of the politics involved. The perp was going to take your life and you used your training to stop him. Remember that you did not set out the beginning of your tour to take someone's life. You did your job and the job failed to be there for you. Now it is time to start something new. Thank God you are alive to talk about it and thank God you were properly trained to protect yourself and maybe other lives, because this perp could have very well went out and killed more people, had he got the best of you. So like I said you are a hero for acting as you did.

 

Now put it behind you. And find something you like and put your efforts into it. I have a few books I want you to read so you understand that you are more than just a cop and that you can do more with your life. Email me if you want to talk more about this, because only other cops can understand what you are going through. Only other cops can understand how you can get through the guilt the job has laid on your mind. The job uses brainwashing techniques to keep you under their thumb, so you do not try to explore your likes and dislikes while you are a cop, but that you only act as they tell you to act. Take stock of your life, remember that you are a hero to your family and that you not only saved your life but probably in all honesty saved other lives this perp would have taken had he gotten away. But due to your training you were able to stop the perp the best way you could given the set of circumstances you were given.

 

Thank God for training and thank God for your ability to protect and save people as you did. Now forget about the job. or at least put that behind you and lets start over. I too am starting over and it is hard but it is challenging and it is worth it because you know that you are a good person and you have a good heart. Now lets be there for our families and lets not judge each other anymore. Stop second guessing yourself to see if you could have done anything different. That is what you are doing, you are second guessing yourself either knowing or unknowingly. Today is the first day of the rest of your life. You are a father and husband and that is a job in itself.

 

 I have gone on too long as it is. If you feel the need to email me we can chat about this and get through it. But either way please remember you are a hero and treat yourself as such. If I do not hear from you good luck and be well. And remember yout are not the first to be terminated from the PD and you are not going to be the last of getting accused of something you did not due. Here in NYC they use cops like porn's in a chess game to control the lives of cops just to be able to use them like puppets. They attempt to take away your manhood while you are under their thumb and they throw the pension around like it is the winning lotto ticket and unless you kiss their ass for the 20 years you are not getting your share. They also use politics as their guide for success rather than the ability for cops to be themselves. You did good. and remember look at the politicians that also take an oath to serve and protect in other ways and look how they are failing their jobs left and right. You did not invent this situation. You are a hero. Thank you for protecting the people and doing your job. Contact me and we will talk. If you want. Good luck.

 

 

DR. Phil,

   Thank you for allowing airtime to Rob's problem. You have done what no other TV show has ever done. You put the other side of the cops story on the air. Hundreds of cops a year get terminated and many are terminated because of politics and public pressure. Many other cops get terminated because of false accusations that others can make against cops as easy as it is to make that phone call. Every single accusation is taken seriously and acted upon and the job, because we are so sinister, we just think everyone s guilty and that is it. we attempt to make everyone guilty. As cops we get sinister through the years and because the police departments use cops to investigate other cops, these cops that are investigating other cops already have placed in their minds that the cop is guilty. Many internal affairs units use this investigating mode to get promoted. The more cops you can get the better your chance to get promoted. It is a technique that is so quite but used so extensively that people really do not understand that when we take that oath we do the best we humanly can to protect and serve and we all make mistakes in our personal lives as well as in our jobs.

Dr. Phil you actually were brave enough to talk about the other side of the problem for cops.  I went through a very similar situation and I understand what Rob is feeling. I got accused of something that I did not do and was vindicated. But because the job was hell bent on getting me they just kept at it and at it.  they used everything they could to come against me and when they realized that they had nothing on me they made up stuff.  They literally lied and made up stuff against me to hurt me and get me fired. I even had volunteered to take a lie detector test to prove my innocence put the job said no because they knew they had lied. But because the NYPD use cops to investigate other cops, uses cops to file charges against other cops, Uses cops to prosecute other cops, and uses commissioners to listen and decide guilt or innocence against other cops, cops do not have a chance to be found not guilty. The police commissioner pays all of these people to go after other cops and no one is going to go against the police commissioner to prove a cops innocence. They get paid from the person sitting a few floors up hoping to make an example out of us and prove that no cop is going to win.

After years of public service and years of doing our jobs a simple accusation can ruin your retirement because they take away your pension. This is a money saving technique that the NYPD is using to cut their budgets as much as they can. we are porn's in their game of chess. It goes a lot deeper than this. But I just wanted to extend my thanks on behalf of all the cops in this great country that take an oath to protect and serve and than when they use their own minds to make a decisions the job terminates them to make examples out of us and show the rest of the force they are in control and we have nothing to say.

No one is going to understand the mechanisms of the inner circle of the police departments in this country unless you have been a cop. It is so deceiving to believe that as cops we are protected by our own. It is so far from the truth, The police department wants to control peoples thought processes and they o this by making examples. Than when you have something like the Spitzer mess, where the person who went after so many people and got them arrested, fired, or worse, than ruins their reputations is committing offenses of the same category himself. But the damage was already done and people get hurt. The same is true for the pd. No matter how well you do your job you will not win your innocence no matter how hard you try,

Understand that when we take the oath to serve and protect we are going out in the streets to possibly get shot. We are targets right from the start and some people get very crazy when they see cops. It si so hard to go ut in the streets and decide other people's problems, make decisions for other people and than go home to our families and try to be normal for our familles we are not taught how to separate the job from reality of our own lives. So many cops cannot have conversations with other people unless they are cops because cops get into a mode of being judgmental towards everyone and not trusting anyone and we cannot be social unless it is with other cops when we try to talk to others we find ourselves trying to solve their problems, trying to give them solutions like we are at work. But the reality is the job sets us up for failure. We do not get taught how to separate the 2, we are not taught how to not be judgmental, as a matter of fact we are almost all taught that our gut feelings is what we go with and everyone is guilty of something. This horrible way of life destroys so many people.

Most cops are good people. They did not start out their day to hurt anyone. Rob did not start his tour knowing he wanted to kill someone. He used his training to protect himself and he possibly saved other lives because this perp could have very well hurt other people had he gotten away. Rob is a hero like so many other cops who find themselves in Rob's position. Unfortunately cops can be their own worse enemies. and than we find ourselves alone and not knowing how to solve our very own problems, because we are not trained to handle our own situations.

Dr. Phil I do not think you really understand how many cops needed to hear your message yesterday. I only hope that you do another show on the other side of cops lives. Because we only tried to do what we were trained to do and when we do something that the job does not like we get fired simply because they can do whatever they want and they get away with it. It makes us depressed, feeling like we are failures, like we can do nothing else, like being a cop was the only thing that we could have possibly done, we feel that everyone is going to judge us badly like we had done as cops, so we do not and are unable to go out and find another line of work because we think this is it. But it is not it. we are human and we are goo people and we need people like you to help us understand that we are not bad. Thank you.  it was a revelation for me and I am sure for other cops who watched your show.

Part of the lessons we need to learn is not be judgmental towards anyone. No one is perfect and we all make mistakes. we are human and police departments should teach us to not judge anyone, and learn to separate the job from our everyday lives. But at least someone is talking about it and you did just that. Thank you