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Messages By: mrmonnin

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quiet
May 5, 2006, 12:36 pm PDT

Forgiveness

Quote From: kissmamie

Happy Mother's day to ME!!!  

My mother has throat cancer and she wants me to call her today,  

I never knew my mother because she wasn't around to stay.  

I have her telephone number and all I do is tap my fingers,  

The feeling of HATE for her is all thats left and lingers.  

She gave me up at birth, along with the rest of the crew,  

Never was a good mother but heard she was a good screw!  

She is gone in the head and violent from deep in her heart,  

Set a man on fire and killed him and tore me apart.  

First woman to kiss my lips was a mother at sight,  

Last woman to see me before locking me away at night.  

First woman to beat me to the ground at the age of 8,  

First woman who taught me to fight and to hate.  

My mother has throat cancer and all I want to do is smile,  

She wants to talk to me for just a little while.  

Where was she from 1 to 8 or from 8 to 10,  

Where was she from 10-30....where was she then?  

My mother wants my number and to know where I live,  

My mother wants to talk to me and for me to forgive.  

My mother is going into an operation- I may never hear her voice,  

But what about ME- when I was a child and had no choice!  

My mother is going to die and life will nolonger be an issue,  

Oh Boo hoo to her, I won't cry at her funeral- I won't need a tissue!  

My mother ruined my life and wonders why I never write or call,  

Maybe because when I was little she never held me in my fall.  

She never kiss my cheeks or rock me back and forth to sleep,  

And now she wants to belly ache about her and weep.  

Poor mother..mother of many things but who she is meant to be,  

Mother of nothing and sure as hell not the mother of me.  

You must forgive your mother.  She has caused infinite pain in your life.  If you don't or can't you will carry the anger into every relationship that you will be a part of.  What is in the past is there in the past.  Let yourself into your own future without harboring the hate.  Hate will only destroy you physically,emotiionally, and all of those who you a part of their lives.  " ... and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us ..."  You don't have to ever speak another word to your mom other than "I forgive you." .  Think about it. 

  

Pax Tecum 

 
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quiet
May 5, 2006, 12:45 pm PDT

Lost Father

Do I have the right to search and see the man who cheated on his wife to create me?  I have carried this burden for 34 years.  Does his wife and family know?  Is he still married to the first one or have there been others?  What will this pursuit cause those who likely don't know?  Do I have the right to walk the path regardless of the end?  This has caused indescribale torn loyalty between those who cared for me when my mom was not able to.  My mom married an incredibly brave man to take someone who had me.  I was treated like the perverbial "red headed step child" because I was.  My extended family didn't want me in contact with the girls that were my cousins because we could legally marry.  Do I have the right to ask the question to him "was it worth it?"? 
 
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blank
May 6, 2006, 7:23 am PDT

34 year long walk

Quote From: idunowhy

I bet your mother and step-dad thought it was worth it.  

   

Don't know the answer. Maybee you need to have a long walk and ask yourself  "is he worth it"?  

I have been walking with this for 34 years.  I can find reasons to do and not to do that are as valid as the other.  I figure I have maybe another 20 years to make the decision.  The next breath is increasingly painful as the next whether I make or don't make the decision.  "Does the need of one outweigh the needs of the many"  Spock  "All truths are not worth speaking" Dr. Laura
 
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angry
November 26, 2006, 2:52 pm PST

Out of Control

What I am completely horrified is that parents who give these children any request and then wonder why they are who they are.  My neice get anything she want and truly believe that a career as a massage therapist and a nail technician will provide the living that she deserves.  When I challenge her to show me a B in freshman level social studies, she breaks down in tears because she is an "artsy" person and doesn't need to use her mind.  She uses her hands.  I fear that she will perpetuate her mother's legacy of a child out of wedlock.  It is like watching a wrecking train. What is truly tragic is what the baby will be subject to.
 
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March 2, 2007, 7:52 am PST

Caught in the middle

What if a child were to be brought into the word due to this selfishness.  I am that child.  Another selfish act 44 years ago.  Can you fathom how this affects a child?  I guess not.  All I can say I deal with unspeakable, pain, betrayal, shame, and anger.  All I have to ask is "Was it worth it?".
 
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hopeful
June 4, 2007, 6:50 am PDT

How do I contact, responsibly?

I beleve that I have located the man that is my "biological" father.  I would be grateful for any thoughts or assitance  How can I contact this man responsibly to relay acceptance as Dr. Phil says "What is ... is."  I don't want to ask anymore questions.  The answers become infinitely uglier than the questions that generate them.  The only thing that I can give him is peace and forgiveness.  I would hope that would have value to him.  If anyone is a private dective  in Mongantown, West Virginia, I would appreciate your thought or for that matter anyone that is on this path.

 

Thank you.

 

Michael Monnin

 

 
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quiet
June 5, 2007, 8:15 am PDT

Thank you for y our thoughts

Quote From: closetpoet624

Hello, Michael,

 

How interesting!  I haven't gotten to that point yet where I actually had the information in my hands and had the choice of using it somehow...I think if it was me, I'd write a letter...something simple, and without too much emotion.  I'd just tell him who I am, that I don't expect anything, but want to tell him that my life is being lived regardless of how it started.  If all you want to say is that you're absolving him, then I would say just that.  This is so hard to do because I don't know your situation or the details, and I don't want to sound like a know-it-all, but it seems to me that you'd feel so much better if you could get this off your chest.  I sure wish I had more to offer you in the way of help, but all I can do is wish you the best in this journey.

Good Luck.

Barbara Jean

I have discussed this matter wtih a priest from my parish and have contacted a priest in the area that I know he lives in.  The priest will contact him by phone and in person to convey my desire to see him.  Only, in person do I wish to offer forgiveness.  This process is personal. A letter indicates caution that has never been used.
 
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blank
October 4, 2007, 12:33 pm PDT

Why are we supprised about Brittany?

Brittany is what happens when permissive parents want to be friends to children.
 
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angry
January 8, 2008, 8:42 am PST

Souns like Cyber Terrorism to me

If I were this child's parents I would continue to press all involved to the fullest extent of the current and future laws.
 
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quiet
September 16, 2008, 1:08 pm PDT

The Real Deal???

Is Loral the real deal?  I requested her package a few months ago.  My wife and I need assistance, as so many others do.  My wife made me return all.  She thinks all are simply selling books.  Is paranoia and schizophrenia contagious?  If so, why am I asking? 
 

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