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Messages By: sweetycheecks

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April 20, 2007, 4:05 pm CDT

It's Not About Your Body

Quote From: im2bizzy2

 During the course of about 18 months I inexplicably lost about 65 pounds. Drs couldn't find a cause despite tests for everything. I had no appetite, severe pain in my stomach area, and the pounds just fell off. I went from a size 18 - 197 pounds - to a size 8 - 132 pounds. All my adult life I had battled weight, been very unhappy with my appearance, esp after having 3 children, nursing, etc., but had resigned to being heavy. My husband always insisted I looked good to him, even at my top weight of 203. (I'm 5'7") At 53 I don't expect my skin to be firm and supple, but it hangs down all wrinkly like an old, old lady. All my veins stick out.  In clothing I look OK. My family all thinks I look way too thin, but when the clothes come off, it is just sick. My breasts especially.

I believe with all my heart that my disgust with my appearance was majorly exacerbated by the discovery of my husband of 27 years being involved in a sexual and "love" affair with a younger woman. By the time I learned of it he was to the point of trying to decide whether to stay or go. What  I learned of that affair destroyed my self-image as a woman, and as his partner, to the extent that I felt hideous. Additionally, my hsuband, although my same age, is very youthful in his appearnace and is often mistaken for my son. My hair is all silver and he has like eight gray hairs on his lush brunette head.  I am so self-conscious in front of him now. Even after 10 months and serious hard work in therapy I still imagine that I am being compared to his lover. (My weight loss occured prior to the affair. I had been at my current weight about a year before he started up with her.)

Basically I believe that since I am healthier overall at the lower weight my work now centers around coming to terms with this new saggy wrinkly skin. Also, I admit I feel guilt for having lost the pounds without hard work, being that it was apparently related to some medical situation as yet determined and not through will-power and exercise. My BP Mon at the Dr was 92/68! Incredible. Part of my work in rebuilding my marriage is dealing with my body image.
Girls stop being so hard on yourselves ! Stop being so sad ! It's REALLY NOT ABOUT YOUR BODY ! I speak from experience ! If your Man , or anyone else , can't handle the way you look , TOO BAD ! If he cheats , it doesn't matter if you look like a movie star ! Love yourself , accept yourself , God made you and LOVES YOU ! You should Love you too ! Hey man we get old , we die , and our body Doesn't go with us . It's what's inside that counts , what you do for others that counts , WHO YOU ARE , THAT COUNTS ! I've done everything within my means to be pretty , to have as best a body as I could . It didn't add one extra day to my life , it made me unhappy , it didn't make my husband love me more . So why bother , why fret , why lose sleep over it ? Thank God you're alive , there's a great big world out there , probably people who need you , or what you have to offer . I don't know what the future holds , But I know who holds the future ! Look Up Girls ! We ain't the chicks on t.v. and movies , and they're not happy either !
 
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April 21, 2007, 6:56 am CDT

Why I want Surgery

Quote From: latinamama

I am a graduate student after a 12 year absence.  My husband retired from the military and it is now MY TURN to have MY CAREER.  This is a milestone for me.  I love my family and appreciate the fruit God has blessed me with.  However, God hasn't put me all back together again.  I'd like a tummy tuck, Dr. Phil, to get back the tummy I once had. It was never flat to begin with, just MUCH FLATTER than it is now.  If God has sent you to me, Dr. Phil, then I pray for wisdom and discernment for you as you help me achieve this, the ultimate milestone for me.  Bless you!!!!!

I had a tummy tuck , for all the same reasons . Don't do it ! I DID all the research on my BOARD CERTIFIED surgeon .He had EVERY certificate and license there is . I'd rather have my child bearing body BACK , then what a MESS I have now ! My sister had a successful one , I didn't !

It's a 50/50 gamble ! Good Luck Sincerely !

 
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April 21, 2007, 7:11 am CDT

Yikes to 911

Quote From: extreme406

Dear Hope911: 

  

This is a terrible thing, and the previous person is right, get an attorney. It will help pay maybe for a pro- in plastic. They do not usually take coverages, it is the least they can do.  

  

Medicine is not an exact science, but it is important for them to account for their rushing , sloopy practices, or claiming because "they did this kind of surgery before, several time". After they goof up on someone that person meets some of the other products of their several times.  

  

I live with a mess too, but I can hide mine, as long as I do not plan on a relationship with a husband.  But, I know where I would be if I were you, that bitterness is from being left with the mess, and they still are doing it. You suffer the loss and they got paid for it.  

  

Please, if you can find some other way , other than surgery again. If you get relief from this, and I pray you do, find out about his back round, and attorney can do that also. Then find something new in your life, fight your way out , it can get depressing, but do not allow it to settle in, go out, call a friend or family member. Get in volved in a group that helps others, how??? Just call, most will never turn away a willing soul.   

  

I promise you this, if you can get involve in any way helping others, you will emotional stay afloat. Never let it control you, you are incharge.  My heart goes out too you, and I pray you gain  the courage to fight back.  Do what you can, and know the rest is in God's hands.  

  

I hope someone can help you, and it will not be to risky.  

  

Best regards. 

Extreme206 

I don't know if you've had any luck with the legal system or not . I did not ! Before the time ran out I hired a top notch Attorney , even talked to a famous Attorney's office , and they confirmed I had  avery good Attorney . The problem was ( I also have before and after pictures ) getting one sugeon to testify against another surgeon . So here I sit with my BOTCHED, tummy tuck , and lots of pictures ( my 83yr.old Mother cried looking at it )and BIG legal files , and oh well , such is life . Some people can do whatever they want to other people , and get away with it !
 

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