Messages By: sukibear

 Getting clean from a meth addictions is extremely difficult, but I'm living proof it can be done.  I lost everything before I got clean.  My home, my business, my child.  I got arrested for the first time in my life at 42 years old. 

I was lucky, there was one person who didn't give up on me, lord knows I tried to push everyone away that wasn't using with me or that I couldn't con money out of. 

I went to treatment in 2002, and was high on meth until the minute I walked through the doors.  Treatment is hard work, but I did everthing they told me to do-even when I didn't understand why or thought it would do no good.  (I thought I was unique-different from all other addicts-special...) I was there for 30 days and when I left I still did what they told me to, because by then I believed, and the fog in my brain was just beginning to clear, so I did 27 weeks of IOP (intensive outpatient therapy) and I did 90 in 90 (90 AA meetings in 90 days), I got a sponsor and I continued to work on staying sober.

Slowly but surely things really did change.  I learned I could have fun and be sober-that was a big one-as the fog continued to lift (it takes a lot longer than you might believe to start thinking clearly after you've messed up your brain chemistry for so long) I realized that miracles had been happening all around me since the day I walked through the doors of the Betty Ford Center.

I work again, I have a home, and best of all my son lives with me again.  I'm grateful I'm strong now, because now we are dealing with the problems that he has because of my addiction.  I still cringe when I think of what I put him through from 8-10 years old. 

I guess what I want to say most is that, for me anyway, I didn't want to get clean, but I had to.  I didn't have an intervention, but my enablers finally, fortunately quite enabling me.  I could go to treatment or I would go to jail.  Silly me, I thought treatment would be easier. 

I'm happy today.  I'm alive today.  I'm not using today. 

 As a woman in recovery for 5+years and the mother of a teenage son I can absolutely promise you drinking will only make things worse for you all.  Last summer I sent my 16 old son to SUWS of the Carolinas (I found the link on Dr. Phil's website) and it has changed our life.  My son is back in high school, no longer using drugs and he actually likes to hang out with me from time to time.  My son was also diagnosed with depression and the anti-depressants only seemed to make him worse.  My ex-husband lives in Florida and pretty much left all the details of my sons troubles to me.  That is until SUWS of the Carolinas forced his hand and made us complete weekly therapy sessions with our sons lead therapist.  That was some gut wrenching Monday morning conversations I can assure you.

Your son is a teenager he does not yet have the ability to understand the consequences of his actions.  He is not yet capable of making wise informed decisions about his future.  Did he make a choice, yes, was it a good one, No.  Of course you can't do nothing-he's a teenager with half a working brain at best.  Do whatever you have to do, call agencies, call mental health, call the police, and if that doesn't work the first six times you do it, call 10 more times.  My advice is grueling and hard if you're sober and clear headed.  It's impossible if your drunk.

Please, please, please, don't resort to the bottle.  If you think things are bad now, just add alcohol to the mix and watch your life implode.  I have no idea if you have addiction issues,but if your son is on the streets and you are reaching for a bottle then please reach for a phone next time.  Call all-anon, or AA, or a pastor, or a friend whose not a drinker, do whatever it takes to keep your mind free from mind altering substances or you will become completely unable to help your son. 

You are stronger than you think or you wouldn't have reached out on the message boards.  Asking for help takes a tremendous amount of courage. Keep asking for help until you find help.  Just don't drink today.  Tomorrow, tell yourself the same thing.  Just not today. 

 I've had plenty of trouble with my own teenager and it's always easier to see other peoples mistakes and not our own.  I say that because I have made every mistake possible.

I would have her cell phone gone by tomorrow morning.  And please don't tell me that she needs it so you can keep in touch with her.  I used that one on myself for months.  Cell phones are a privilege that you and your "at risk" teenager can do without.  My son and I did.  Believe it or not there are still plenty of pay phones out there. She's 15 stop being afraid that she's going to get mad at you or stop liking you.  Being a friend or a "cool parent" to your kid is asking for trouble.  My son actually wanted a parent to help him feel safe.  It took me sending him to therapeutic wilderness camp for 53 days to figure that out.  You're her mother, and sometimes that means protecting her from herself and her not yet fully developed brain. 

Sure would be hard for them to plan their baby and their future with no phone or internet contact.