Quote From: imamosaicA couple of posts back they wondered why Todd had not gotten over his dumbness in two years.
One of the things Cat said was -that when she and Todd are intimate- she sees Todd as his Dad and it makes it very hard for her. How big a leap is it before she is mad at Todd and doesn't know why?
She is a victim here too and I don't blame her one bit for whatever she feels. She has issues to work on that's all.
Her issues unfortunately for Todd impact him and his recovery. He is continually being re-injured and reminded that he has to stand in for his Dad when it's time for the consequences. He can't get away from the fact that he is part of -those people-. Anne and Steve are irresponsible and are so far gone they can't be reached in many ways. Todd is available.
Put yourself in Todd's shoes. His parents have turned on him. His daughter is injured (and he gets it) His parents don't step up and take the responsibility. His wife looks at him and sees his father. The guilt and shame are horrible. Everyone including this board has unloaded on the guy -Why he isn't quite acting healthy enough for us, we see the answer, why doesn't he?
You can't expect functional at the levels your asking when everytime he asks for help everyone in his life kicks him. We're not even in his life, we are the Universe and we want compassion when we are hurting and alone but when this man appears we judge him and kick him and say -not good enough.
It's up to us. I know if I were him I would be hurting and would need compassion. And so does Cat, she hasn't handled this perfectly but she sure did her best. And when they know better they will do better. They would have loved our support. Like Oprah with her father. They don't need our support to get well,. . . . it just would have been nice.
Maybe when we were hurting and tried our best no one was ever there for us and we recreate what was done to us. I don't know why we are so critical. Maybe it's just like everyone else we realize Steve won't get it- Anne won't get it- Todd seems to get it- jump on Todd.
Unless we are the person that is unjustly being jumped on and kicked we just can't understand it and have compassion. I've considered the fact that maybe it's US that doesn't get what's going on here.
What I learned from Oprah is to draw my lines through people's names with a very thin line and not a big fat felt tip marker because there is a lot more love for me that way. Or we can judge and hate people while they are trying their best- after all, isn't that what we got when we tried our best? There was always someone there to point our mistakes.
Things won't change until we do.
First of all I saw this show as well, and it really shock me when she said she see his father in him. I really don't see how because his father has all that red hair, and look like a molester. Todd don't. I don't blame her for her feelings neither, but her husband is in pain as well. They should stick togather in this. The father does not seem to get a clue of his wrong doings to this child. His wife is just as dumb. There is no way I would except this in any man. He would be out the door. This is hard for Todd, but he has to look at his own family first, and I feel he is. I can't belive they are looking at the grandmother even being back in this child life. How can some 1 love a man so much that they can lay next to him after such a thing? I know we should forgive but this man said it made him feel young again ( Lord Jesus!) It makes me wonder how long has he felt this way about girls (children) he is a sick man. neither would never see my child again
