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Messages By: ridered777

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May 2, 2007, 4:49 pm CDT

you can't help those who can't help themselves

 My sister-in-law is in the same situation. I noticed the verbal abuse and she thought nothing of it. She has tried to leave many times, but each time he would convince her to stay. He is an MP and she is very isolated with a two year old and an infant. We had her stay here for awhile, but she went back to him. We went four states away to move her back home. She is now on vacation w/him in his home state where his family is. I have given her all of the help I can but it is very difficult to watch her subject the children to him. He is not physical with her, but with the two yr. old and the dog. He is verbally and emotionally abusive, on every level possible. He knows how to get away with it because he is trained to deal with it. She called Children and Youth Services on him two weeks after he hit the two yr. old and there wasn't enough evidence to follow through. She is PTSD from time in Iraq and has depression and anxiety. I'm at my wits end because she won't do the right thing. What more can I do to help? She came to me, I did not interject myself into their business.  She won't discuss things w/me because she thinks I'll be mad, but she sure calls me when things blow up. What do I do? Her parents are useless. They are mad at me for going to get her and the children. They said she needs to learn her lesson.

 
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May 4, 2007, 8:24 am CDT

too much drama for me

Quote From: lvacffeshp

So Michelle is receiving NO CHILD SUPPORT.  Maybe the grandparents should put their MONEY WHERE THERE MOUTH IS AND PAY CHRIS'S CHILD SUPPORT for CRISTEN.... BUT OH NO they would rather deplete Michelle's money in court costs and thus DEPLETE CRISTEN'S RESOURCES.... for all the FUN THINGS SHE COULD HAVE WITH THAT MONEY THAT THEY ARE WASTING.  Let's get out my calculator and let's just ball park $400 per month if the grandparents are even slightly wealthy... so let's guess Chris has been in jail 2 yrs which makes:  24 months x $400 = $9,600.  IN MY OPINION THE GRANDPARENTS OWE MICHELLE $9,600 in DELINQUENT CHILD SUPPORT.....

 I wouldn't take one red cent from the grandparents. I believe that both parties are to blame. Michelle shouldn't have responded to her MIL  she shouldn't have recognized her at all. Dr. Phil was there to mediate and help find a solution to the problem. Taking money from them only makes them feel more entitled to the grandchild. The whole show was pretty much those two fighting over unsupported allegations. I can guarantee, if my children's grandma saw me cooking meth the cops would be at my door with DCF and she is my mother. My ex-MIL won't see my kids because she thinks they should be the ones responsible for maintaining the relationship the same goes with her son, their father. Soon, those children will be at the age where they are too old to hang out with their grandparents, and all of this drama will make their decision to avoid a relationship much easier to make.

As for child support. Based on the fact that he only makes .30 cents a day in jail his income is not enough to give her support. -50% of zero is still zero. Yes, based on his income(which doesn't include "under the table"' wages or drug money), he would owe arrears. Good Luck ever getting that money.

 
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November 9, 2007, 7:17 am CST

elope

elope and avoid all the drama for now.

If you are a mother, you'll probably be a MIL.

I've had the worst and the best and I'll be one someday and I'd like my DIL to say I'm the best.

 
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January 4, 2008, 1:00 pm CST

silence is golden

    I am a talker too. I have anxiety and I used to hate the awkward silence. I have had VOS --VOW OF SILENCE written on my hand to remind me to be quiet. Meditation has helped alot! I have learned a lot about the use of words. Boys only listen for 4 seconds. The more I talk the less I'm heard.

    I'm glad that she is getting the help she needs and that you were so gentle w/her. I think she has a great

personality and I hope she can find a career that suits her. I recently found this and it resonated w/me.

   

 Under all speech that is good for anything there lies a silence that is better.

 Silence is deep as eternity Speech is shallow as time.

    I honor the silence in my life allowing myself time for reflection

    I honor the silence of others when they need peace or rest in my presence, or when they struggle for words. I listen into the silence for the words not spoken. I allow silence in my conversations with others so that they can say what they need to say without haste or interruption.        Thomas Carlyle

 
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January 29, 2008, 9:42 am CST

gossip

     I know that I am a little late responding to the topic, however, I am sick and tired of gossip! Gossip shows, and gossiping people. I hear it everywhere I go. I work w/women and all they do is slam each other! Everywhere I go people are stabbing each other in the back! I helped out at my son's (Catholic) school for a weekend bball tournament and most of the women in the kitchen were talking about everyone who came through the line! I couldn't believe that these women had just come out of church! I went to the dentist and an employee just left and the others were talking about her! I was at my oldest son's bball game, (he only gets to play one min.) and the women next to me wanted to talk about the other mom's! Man! My son only gets to play every once in a while and she's ruining it by running her mouth! I just wanted to scream shut up already! I don't care who is doing who or where or whatever! I can only imagine the crap they make up about me,because I don't offer any personal details, but they are not afraid of asking! I would never ask these people the intimate details they ask me about! Gossip and cliques are not limited to young girls! I even tell my sons that they need to check themselves before they talk about anyone else's business. I used to gossip and I realized all of the trouble is causes, so I really try not to do it and I have become anti social because I don't want to be a part of this behavior.
    I saw a segment on CBS Sunday Morning, about a company that does not allow gossip! If you gossip you will be fired!  I agree w/this boss and I wish more people would put this into place! Gossiping is a waste of time and resources and leads to chaos in the work place! We should all watch our mouths and mind our own business.
 

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