Messages By: bllueb

        I have been divorced seven years now. My ex was and is still very abusive he was arrested for strangling me and our son who at the time was under a year old the police took photos.

His mother bailed him out and the same day he was back at the house.I tryed to get away from him so I went to stay with a girlfriend. My ex then went to the court and put a protection from abuse order on me and I had to give him our child. He then sent our son to another state with his mother and I was made to go to couples councling with him and had to do what he wanted  for three months to see our son.  there is more still even I just thought some one could help.

  I need to also let you know that at the time I was 18 years old and alone. after councling my ex moved us across from his family. I had no schooling past grade nine. tried to get a job but my ex scared the babysitter. no drivers licence. no friends no money. no phone. and when my ex beat me the apartment building we lived in the bank owned and no one else was in the building. I ended up pregnate again wasn't  on birthcontrol it cost money. So I had second child a girl. I guess I just snaped I went to school in secret and got my GED. I also had one shot to get my drivers licence and I did! but that got my ex madder then me crying I was done with him and he knew it so he went to live across the street and did another protection from abuse order on me and the police came and took the kids. He was trying to keep me. this time I left and got my own apartment and as soon as I got  legal help I could have the children on the week ends. So I started to go to school to be a C.N.A.  but my ex would show up at my Apartment at two in the morning ringing my door bell untill I answered . saying I could see the children all the time if we got back togther  yes I went back with him for 8 months the first three months he was nice then he started to be him self and told me he was going to kick me out  on the streets and what he didn't know was he was second on my lease. so I took him off but he started to break in and would be either on the couch in livingroom or standing over me so I moved to a different town then my mother was sick and dieing in another state I wasn't allowed to take the children with me and before I even got off the bus to see my mother in the hospital my ex had already called there 8 times and called up to 6 times a day to see when I was coming back I was only there a week and also my whole family was there we didn't know if she would make it my sister introdouced me to one of her friends and he asked me if he could give me a ride to the hospital and take me to dinner. I don't know how but my ex called him and said every thing bad you could think of . I came back home right away on a plane in stead  of the bus and when I got home I was told I couldn't see the kids and he said I had abandon them. I  am here and our son is with him our daughter is with his mother in another state. I am remarried and have a son with husband. but my ex is still running my life!! He dosn't follow the court order he is in contempt of it and I am lost in this our  kids don't get to see each other . I have no one helping with the court .I have no way to pay for help and I am at my end . this has been going on for half my life and all of the childerens.

 I posted a message on the wrong topic and I should have been here its on CO/ parenting but very much abuse.

My ex  has gotten away with beating me he was put in jail the police took photos of me and our one year old we both had marks and he admitted hurting us. his mother bailed him out and he was back at the house three hours later. I left and he filed papers on me and was granted the order because the court dosn't look up records so he had all the control I was only 18 yr old and didn't know any thing noschool no job no family and after that the one friend I did have was gone. I went back and went to couples counsling and as you can guess couldn't say anything because our child was with his mother in another state for three months jump how high? then he had us move to a different town across the street from his family so when he was at work someone was there we had no phone. no way out I went to school in secret when his family went to FL for the winter I also had one shot at a drivers licence and did pass he did find out about school he did go nuts I did end up pregnate had a girl. his family would clean up his messes for him I mean he liked to throw chairs at me cookie jar glasses any thing I would lock myself in the bath room. His family helped him in court lieing paying for a lawyer and I was alone. he has the children and uses them to hurt me and he is hurting them. he had the kids go to his mothers and wouldn't let me see them our oldest son ran away from there in bare feet when it was below0 out the police found him and he is ok not really though. he is in contempt and I am trying to go back to court but I feel like its just going to be the same. When will it get better?

No there is no reason. I do have another child with me. I am divorced and have been for seven years. what happened was I didn't have a lawyer and I still don't he did. I am also remarried.  The court dosn't or at least in my case didn't take him being abusive.He is very smart and a good talker. one of his family members wants to go to court with me and its his only sibling because she witnessed our son being abused by her own brother.

  we have shared parental rights so its 50/50 on paper. yes son lives with him. son is in councling and is just starting to talk about things. sons father my ex  is not treating him good

and now that my ex's sister has witnessed something. my son is not allowed to go to aunts house. Yes I am going back to school.

I am tired today. I know your thought because I don't have two of my three children with me I must be doing something wrong that is not the case. When I met my ex husband I was 16yr old

and living on the streets. I have been hurt I lot. I was molested by family members. I was beaten by my mother starved locked in a shed because my mother said I stole from her and in a way I did because my mother locked all the food up.I tryed to get in to the basment and my foot broke

a window. I was taken away from my mother D.H.S and put in fostercare.Then they tryed to put me with my father and my dear old dad is a drunk and drug user and he also threw me down a

flight of stairs after punching me in the face. I tryed to go to a shelter and my dad called the first

shelter so I had no permition to stay there the woman at the shelter said I could stay at another

shelter so I went there at two am. The police came to that shelter and said I couldn't stay there

so I was out side in winter no winter coat and walking around. I found a box behind a store it

was  cold. I do live in the north and no its not a big city were things are open at that time and had

no money to stay in any where. So I got it in my head to thumb it thats when I met my ex .

  my exxx was nice for six months and then .

 I'm watching the news and thinking why!! WHY can't anyone have helped me? What did I do to be nothing but s***! I am crying and it is very hard to type I am at my end. please help or talk I can't live this way any more.

I am wondering if any one is here to talk? My last post I was very upset and felt like giving up no not hurt myself or anything just very worn out its been 16 years of crap and thats just from my X and his family. I was abused as a kid and was in counseling then I thought I was fine but I know now I wasn't fine you know when your 16 years old and you think you know everything well I didn't

duuu! I also didn't listen to my iner voice when on my weddingday I locked my self in the bathroom talking threw the door to my mother and mother in law that I changed my mind and I didn't want to get married in responce to that my mother said it was to late to change my mind because I was pregnate and seventeen now I know it wasn't me she was thinking of but how it looked. My now ex--- mother in law said she would take down the door . Nun of them knew about my X throwing me into doors,throwing me outside in winter in my underware and tanktop or that I tryed to leave him months before and I wasn't pregnate  we had a talk and I agread with everything he said because of safty reasons and we were broke up and so he was going to bring me to the YWCA and drop me off when we got to the YWCA and he said all the nasty things  he had to say I agreed with him and said your right and when I opened the door getting ready to step out of the car he put the car in reverse and I pulled my legs in quick the door to the car ended up faceing the other way and I could barly breath and he shut the car off and was yelling at me about what I made him do!  

 

 THAT WAS BEFORE MARRIED

  Iknow I could have said no and it was in my head hine sight is 20/20 . I do have to still deal with him and it did get worse after the I do infact the same day.I told you all I was preger's when we got married so on our wedding night I really was tired I woke up to him having sex with me and telling me I belonged to him with my past abuse this freked me out! Then my grandmother found out that I was sleeping on the floor at six moths preg and I was inbaresed and made excusses for him and that was wrong it got worse.