I am a 43 year old gay male and I have dealt with BDD since I was 13. It was only recently that I realised that I have had BDD longer than I have had depression, which I have had since 1977
I was in grade 5 and I bugged my parents to get braces. I have a gap slightly larger than Madonna has. I got braces 3 years later.
I remember an incident in grade 7 where I used a bobby pin to try to get a mole off my face. I wanted to get Porcelana (age fading ) cream because I thought it would remove my mole but I was too embarrassed as a 13 year old boy buying age cream.
I have been obsessed with my looks ever since then. And as mentioned on the show, it isnt vanity. Getting back to my braces, I remember being in the orthodontist chair and looking at the dentist and thinking "why cant I look like him"
I would probably be described as slightly above attractive person, but I wanted to be 'the hunk' and I wasnt that. As my depression continued, I gained some weight (40 lbs), and in my opinion, my looks faded. I feel ugly. I feel hideous. I stay at home much of the day. I dont like going outside and I have anxiety when I do.
When I go out, I compare myself to other guys and I can get very depressed when I see a good looking guy.
As funny as it may sound, I have been suicidal about my hair. I have hair similiar to Sting, a bit less. Its devastating and I know people probably dont understand.
Ive become a recluse because of BDD, along with depression and anxiety. Girls may be associated more with BDD, but guys have it to
Thats just a bit of my story
Mark
Vancouver, British Columbia
