Hi, I hope I've put this in the right place. This is my first post ever.
I’d really like to hear your thoughts on my relationship with my sister.
All throughout our adult lives, we’ve had a very strained, superficial(?) relationship. If I get mad at her, and try to talk about it - she shuts me out for a couple weeks. If she get’s mad at me, she’ll first tell me how she feels, then shuts me out. There literally is no room for dialog. She freezes you out, shuts you down, and ignores you until she’s forgotten about the matter.
If either Dad or I try to make plans with her (for birthdays, holidays, etc.) we call at least 3 months in advance....as per her request. Unfortunately, by the time the big day arrives (as well as the confirmation call the week before) she’s already forgotten about it and then get’s mad at us for "not giving her more advance notice".
I’ve noticed that when we’re together doing something (like christmas shopping) she visibly suffers through it. Like it’s an obligation she just couldn’t get out of. She snaps at everyone around me (clerks, waitresses, other drivers) and pointedly ignores me. It’s pretty obvious who she’s annoyed with but when I ask her about it, she blows me off. Refuses to talk.
For years, I’ve been walking on eggshells around her, saying yes whenever she asked for something, and doing whatever I could to break through that WALL.
She’s often made derogatory comments to and about me. Then called me a "drama queen" when I’d react. The one thing that was always in the back of my mind was, "Why can’t you love me the way I am? Why can’t you even like me?" It’s been very heartbreaking to be treated like this by someone who I’ve loved and supported since she and I were both children.
Recently, however, I think I (finally) reached my breaking point.
After telling her I couldn’t do something for her (the first time ever I said No to her), she sent angry, accusing text messages, called me to tell me how much I let her down, until finally, after 3 weeks of this, I stopped taking her calls and refused to answer any texts or e-mails from her.
Over the past month, I’ve been closely examining my relationship with her and I don’t know why on earth I’ve put up with this crap for so long. I’m amazed at how angry this has made me.
I’m thinking about cutting ties with her. (I’m that mad) For the moment, I’m just taking some much needed space from her before I made a final decision.
What would you do? And is there anyone out there who is going through the same thing with their sibling??
