Messages By: unpaidmom

It ticks me off to no extend about what some mothers do.  I am raising my two children by myself (now with my current husband) with no help from their father's.  They know they have a child but they could care less.  I think it is unfair that a father can just get up and leave at anytime and the mother is there to clean up the "dirty" work of trying to explain to the child that it wasn't their fault on why "daddy" left.  Then if the bio-father does have a change of heart they can come into that child's life and turn it upside down because he has a right to them. 

Then it ticks me off to no end that women have fought so hard in this world to earn their place to be equal to men then turn around and degrade other women that try to do the right thing. I think it is pure ignorance to make a man think a child is their's and make them pay and then when it is convenient to them tell them well "I was wrong, you are not the father." Women that do this should be punished under the law b/c in reality they committed a crime. Instead of it being looked at, well she did what she had to do.  She made a mistake, it isn't her fault. Well you know for a fact that women wouldn't think twice on throwing the father in jail for not paying support.  So how is it equal there? Women that commit this should (I think) pay back the money.

My husband has stepped up to my children and taken responsibility.  He knows that they are not his and it would be real easy for him to just be the father (since their ages are 4 and 9 months) but it is not by any means right.  My kids will know who their bio-father is but they will know who the real father to them and that is my husband. I do not even have them call him daddy b/c it is wrong.  I am leaving it up to my kids on whether or not to call him daddy.  For right now, he is either Jon or Daddy Jon. Eventually he might adopt, but that is totally his choice I would never forced that on him b/c he already got tricked by his ex-wife on signing her daughter's birth certificate to become her father. She said it was the "cheapest" way to adopt her kid. Don't get me wrong, he treats her like his own but when things do not go the mother's way she will throw it up and say well you are not her father.  Like for example, we are trying to get 50/50 custody of them but she is now saying she is not his and he has no right.  But he has been paying support on her for the last 3 years.  Now how is this fair to him b/c he chose to step up and to be her father but "legally" has no right to her?

So I guess what I am trying to say is yes it is not right for the mother to lie but she should have left the option up to her husband/boyfriend or whatever to be involved with the kid. But now even though he was the victim he is being treated like he is at fault.  The mother thinks this is funny and just wants the money, throw her "booty" in jail for committing a crime and we will see who is laughing now.  It is very unfortunate for the daughter but hopefully she will come to realize that both her and her "father" were the victim and then they will be able to move forward on to some kind of relationship.

Hope I made a point somewhere in all my babbling. I will go back on my theory:People should fill out an application to have kids." We already have enough screwed up kids that have mommy daddy issues. We need to stop the cycle of emotionally damaging our children.  We need to think twice no a hundred times before we have children. I am tired of the mom's pulling the mommy card and they have right to the child.  Well if you have right to the child you need to do right by them and let them know who their REAL father's are.