Messages By: falcon6

The golden child of our family was my brother. This caused fights between my parents. We were a family of 4 children. The family fell apart after my fathers death in 1981. It started with my mother giving my brother the family farm, telling the rest of the children thats what my father wanted,BULL. It went down hill from there. My sister has not spoke to my mother or brother since around 1991. My other sister takes care of my mother only because she has a heart of gold but does try to avoid talking to her when she can. I myself have got to the point where I could care less if I donot see or hear from my brother again. I gave him agift awhile back and he never called to thank me . If I saw him it was because I went to see him and if I talked to him it was because Icalled him. I was in the hospital 6 weeks ago and he didnot bother to call.  I guess its because it was the way he was raised as the favorite of my mother. I didnot talk to my mother from around 1993 until 2003. I tried having another relationship with her but it failed, All had to do with my brother. If my mother calls I speak to her but thats it. Its a shame she missed 14 years of her 18 year old grandchilds life. I was told by my sister that when my  wife and I son was born, the first words out of her mouth were I was hoping your other brother would have the first male grandchild. Is that not pitiful. This may sound mean of me but you know what they say you get what you deserve, My brother tried 3 times but couldnot give my mother her golden male granchild and just as my mother is aging and in declining health my brother quits his job and moves 800 miles away. She thought he would be here to take care of her, so much that she bet the farm on it. So young parents beware, donot make a mistake that you will pay for the rest of your life,    TREAT YOUR CHILDREN EQUALLY!!!!!!!!

I lost my father at age 20 in 1981 to a farm accident. I blamed myself for along time and struggled with his death. I would drink alot , suffered with depression and overall fell apart. I believe there is no certain answer on getting over a shattered life. My healing started with a poem I found titled, Death is nothing at all by Henry Scott Holland. I would type it here but it might still be copywrited, but I suggest you try to look it up. I know it sounds strange but I believe it came into my life for a reason. It reminded me of what my father would tell me if  he could have before he died. It also made me think ,if any of our family could give us advise before they died would they tell us to blame ourselves and seek self destruction and suffer depression. No, family would tell us to  mourn for awhile then  move on with our lives but keep them in our hearts ,thoughts and prayers. I prayed for myself  to live untill my son was 20. He turned 20 this year and i took the time to talk to him. Because of the experience I had, I told him if something happens to me suddenly, to remember I love him and Its okay to mourn but life goes on and for him to keep me in his heart and we will meet again someday.   Find the poem and read it, I believe it will help