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Messages By: momfourboy

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July 11, 2007, 2:01 pm PDT

07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Quote From: kendra1820

I don't feel sorry for the parents. It is their fault that these children are like this. These boys have been abused in some form. Either physical or mental. How awful for these children.

  I am a say at home mom of four elementary aged boys,  two of whom have or have had problems with encopresis.  All of my boys are very bright kids who have friends, participate in extra-curricular activities, enjoy family vacations, etc.  My husband and I both are educated (I am an ex teacher) totally involved parents.  BEFORE YOU JUDGE THESE BOYS AND THEIR FAMILIES TAKE THIS AS an opportunity to learn about this MEDICAL condition and think a little harder before you SCREAM ABUSE!!!!   I hope all my boys stay away from people with shallow opinions such as yours!!!!

 
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July 12, 2007, 7:34 am PDT

07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Quote From: sissybobo

I went through this with my daughter, with the constipation from birth to age 6, and she saw a doctor regularly since birth, it took my daughter at least twice as long as normal to potty train, she wore pull-ups up to age 5, she was on the laxative until age 6, i sympathize with these people, it is SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO frustrating, and you feel SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO bad as a parent every time they get a sore bottom, but you take care of it, and make sure that they are clean so that that they don't get sore and don't get smelly. You make sure they take the laxative every single day, because if you don't and they have a hard bowel it will be painful and will set them back. But i must "judge" as you say.  YOU DON'T WAIT UNTIL AGES 9 AND 15 BEFORE SEEING A DOCTOR FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE!!!!!!!!

FYI - I have taken my oldest son too many times to count to the doctor for this issue since age three!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Many times I have have simply been blown off by the doctors-they say oh just give him a laxative-just wait-whatever!  If you really have experienced this you would understand that there is not always a quick fix!!!!!

 
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July 12, 2007, 7:44 am PDT

07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Quote From: cutegwf

Dr. Phil

You missed the boat on this one! As a teacher, I would be appalled that the parents haven't resolved this before sending those kids to school. I agree they most likely have a medical issue, at least they do now. But it didn't start out that way.

If you look closer, which Dr. Phil never addressed, they obviously have eating and exercise issues as well. They eat and sit in front of the TV and the computer. How come Dr. Phil never addressed these issues.

SOLUTION:  Make the kids do their own laundry! That would solve it very quickly. ALSO, using Dr. Phil's own advice, find out what their currency is - video games and TV, and cut them out. NO MORE until they stop. I would also refuse to get them any new clothes, let them where the crap!

COME ONE, Dr. Phil, why didn't you take a hard line with this one???

I am glad you're not a teacher at our school!  I am a former teacher and mom of four boys.  I have taken my oldest son to the doctor for this issue since age three.  As a teacher haven't you learned yet that everyone, and their bodies, are different and have different responses to things!!!!????!!!!!  My seven year old is a brown belt in taekwondo and has ADHD- Sorry-no extended video game or TV time for him!  We have tried everything-including him washing out his underwear in the toilet.  Your colleagues and principal should read your message!  SHAME ON YOU!
 
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July 12, 2007, 8:38 am PDT

07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Quote From: cutegwf

I agree with the statements about understanding the problem and we should all put ourselves in this family's shoes. No one knows what it's like to have this issue unless you do. HOWEVER, make the children responsible. We are living in a society where the parents quickly jump in and take the blame - when the children do anything that is abnormal or wrong. WHY won't anyone put any of the responsibility of these children for this terrible issue. It's not a syndrome, it's a problem that can be resolved, but not by the parents. They know how to use a toilet. The kids must want to do it and should be made a part of the solution. Like I said before, make them do their laundry and I bet it comes to a screeching halt!
FYI-Two of my boys with this issue HAVE cleaned themselves up, washed out their clothes and lost many,many priveleges.  We have visited different doctors,counselors and tried different medications.  Everything is not always that EASY!
 
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July 12, 2007, 8:44 am PDT

07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Quote From: balthezaar

 Sounds right to me. The teacher hit it dead on. She, like me, believes that action and not excuse and acceptance is the key. If the children are smart enough to feed themselves, play complex video games etc they should be able to not soil themselves.
So it must be a MEDICAL issue!!!!
 
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July 12, 2007, 10:29 am PDT

07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Quote From: d12345

it is terrible that you are saying things that you don't know what your talking about.  i didn't see the show but was told by my sister to pull up the site and read it as it is what my son has.  we are a very well off family and i have three buitify children age 12, 6+5 and when my dad died two years ago this lack of pooping started with my 6 year old then 4 and is still going on today.  we have been to the specialist and nothing works.  he was normal with pooping everyday and now went for weeks without pooping and blew up like an ethopian and now still has these staining problems all because my father (his best friend) died.  and now you are blaming me for this??? don't you think that i want this fixed also.  not to mention having my dad back!

by the way- if it's any of your business i've tried having him punished, clean himself, rewarded him, taken all his toys from his room- you name it we tried it.  if you can fix this problem, please let me know!!  believe me i went threw all of the emotions of thinking this was his problem not medical, and i sure would love having my life back also.

I am sorry to hear about all you have been through.  Support from people is very important.  No one ever really talks about this, but since our family has been dealing with this issue I have discovered that it is not as uncommon as people think.  I ended up on this message board looking for help - Boy am I sorry I did!  Just to let you know, my ten year old has much more control than he did at one time, but I think it has just really taken time-not drugs, punishment or anything else.  Hang in there!
 
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July 13, 2007, 7:19 am PDT

07/11 What’s Up, Doc?

Quote From: dougj62

It really is frustrating to see the messages that trash my wife and I because we sought out help for our boys.  To be accused of abusing our kids really is way out of line especially since the ones doing the accusing are usually making comments like we need "...a good A** whoopin'" or we "need to have or butts kicked." 

 

After spending countless hours with Dr.'s and counselors , not to mention thousands of dollars for appointments, we get the joy of being trashed by people who have NO CLUE what we have gone through. 

 

Do you honestly think that we went on the show to embarass ourselves and the kids? 

 

When I emailed Dr. Phil about this, the 3rd pediatrician that we had seen told us that they would outgrow the problem.  To my wife and I, that was completely unacceptable.  I figured maybe that someone from the show would email back some links and info to point us in a different direction.  Laxatives and pills, enemas and ignoring the problem (the suggestion of one Dr.) did nothing to help. 

 

When one of shows producers came to our house to interview us for the show, he told us that he thought that the boys were polite and well-adjusted young boys that had a problem that hopefully Dr. Phil could help us with. 

 

I know that I can sleep at night knowing that my wife and I have tried to help the kids get through this.

 

Thank you for sharing your experience!  It is comforting to know that our family is not the only one experiencing this.  This is my first experience using a message board and now I truly know how insensitive the world is.  Keep on taking good care of those boys-somehow they will get through this!
 
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September 18, 2008, 1:28 pm PDT

09/18 Parents Falsely Accused?

Quote From: tonyfan

I have 3 children - now 22, 20 and 16 and never once did I leave them unattended in a car. 

What has a snow storm got to do with leaving your child, that you chose to bring into this world, in a car by themselves.

You chose to have the children, so "running around with a baby and a toddler " is something you should have been used to doing.

Do not play God with your childrens lives - never leave them in a car.

22, 20 and 16 huh?  Sounds pretty easy.  You had one in school all day by the time your youngest was running around.  Little ones always have their own agendas.  How sad for you to judge others when you have never been in their situation!
 

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