Messages By: mrsnadeau

Wow....I'm a HUGE Dr. Phil fan, but today made me so mad!!!!

Please don't tell infertile couples to "relax'.  That is the worst thing to say to us!

I've been trying to conceive for over 5 years...done all the tests, several artificial inseminations, etc.  We're currently looking into adoption.

I could RELAX all I wanted and it wouldn't matter...I have a condition where my body is killing the sperm, so artificial (IUI, IVF) is our only way. 

There are so many of us who have trouble with conceiving.  No one can understand our pain, we just need support.  Telling us to relax isn't cutting it......

Please tell the couple who are trying so hard to have a baby they need to relax, quit thinking about getting pregnant, and enjoy themselves.

When we were first married 48 years ago, we wanted to have children right away and since it didn't happen immediately, we began to stress about it and do whatever the medical community knew to do back in those days.  It did indeed sort of become a job.  We lived on a farm.  One of the ewes had twin lambs and wouldn't "own" one.  I began feeding it with a bottle, which had to be done on a regular schedule day and night.  Getting pregnant kind of went to the bottom of the list, as this sweet fluffy little orphan was depending on me for it's life.     The lamb gradually began to thrive and one morning as I was bending over to feed it, I noticed I was very nauseated.   This continued to get worse and lo and behold I found out I was pregnant.  My husband thinks feeding the lamb brought  out my maternal instinct.  I think just forgetting about trying so hard was what did the trick.  PS  The lamb lived on to have lambs of it's own.

Nineteen yrs ago, my husband's mother was diagnosed with terminal liver cancer.  We had just recently married and thought "why not get pregnant and give his mom new hope to live for; a new grandbaby!"  Well, we tried and tried, we were both so stressed from our jobs and from her medical condition, I even went to have my husband's sperm count done!  The nurse called with the results and said "he should be strutting around like a peacock!".  I went back to my OB/GYN and he told me we were trying too hard and the stress in our lives would not produce a baby.  He suggested a vacation.  Unfortunately, my husband's mother passed in Feb 1988, but in May of 1988, after the funeral and an invitation to a wedding in Florida, we conceived and were the proud parents of a healthy baby boy.  He was born in February 1989 and is now 18 years old.  We didn't have as much stress in our lives and fortunately had another healthy baby girl in February of 1991!  Stress can really mess with our bodies.  I'm living proof to take Dr. Masterson's advice and RELAX!!!!!  Let it happen, it's one of those things you cannot force.  Let mother nature do her work, it will happen.