Messages By: violinplayer

I have been a musician for almost all my life. when i first asked my parents if could take piano lessons, my mother beamed. Down the road i learned other musical instruments i performed in many music festivals as a child and as a young adult i became a concert violinist and a music teacher. when i wanted to go into more mainstream i did not like the business anymore. I thought people were more interested in making a fast buck and not with the art and talent with music. When it came with Britney, i see what has happened to many young people who are talented and want fame. They listen to companies who promises them fame if the artist will follow their formula even though it cost the artist their soul. Sex is the biggest seller. Who cares if artist is talented or not make them sell records have young girls sing crappy songs with sexy videos even though there talent is way above that.

drugs and alcohol seems to go to hand and hand when a young artist who is still wet behind the ears and have little coping skills. the record companies loves that because they can control them. this practice should stop.  I feel for Britney and her children. Britney is in trouble,ifear for her life. I have seen so many time in my life the psychological problems that drugs can happen to the person who takes the drugs and the people in the family. May God be watching her and everybody who is connected to this.

I just got done rereading the book, Tuesdays with Morrie, what a great book. People thinks its about death and the dying process, but in reality its about life and how great life is about. Morrie, who suffered from ALS, gave life lessons to Mitch, his student, about love and grief. It is OK to cry. It is OK to be sad, but don't let saddens over run your life. People need to give their priorities right. People are so fascinated about other peoples lives like Britney', Pairs' lives that they are missing out the beauty of their own life, like seeing the fall colors of maple leafs.

in my Church, when someone passes away, we say, "they are bound for glory." Meaning they are with the holy father and we celebrate about life with that person.

There is nothing wrong to be different as long it does not hurt you or someone else. There is nothing wrong to live out your dreams. Sometimes you have to be little practical, but anyone can be a rock star. Life is too short to live in a life that is unfulfilled. Go out and reach your star. My grandmother says that everybody is a star in their own life. Just remember that. As long you don't hurt your self physically, mentally, or spiritually, there is nothing wrong. 

Peace,

God bless you 

he called me last night. Like a fool I went. He wanted relationship and i gave it to him. Is there something wrong with me? I have gone so far. I was homeless, had no money, an alcoholic, unstable, institutionalized. I was in hell. I am now back on m feet. I have an apartment, money, I have been sober for 7 years, and I am going back to school. I am putting back the pieces. I finally have a great counselor, and we are working on my childhood. My relationship with God s much closer. People say, I have this light around me that makes them happy. It took a lot of work to make it at that level. I am letting my guard down! But unfortunately people still take advantage. I know I will not go back to Mr X. he is wrong. Lord, make me strong.  

I have been talking to my therapist about my downstairs neighbor, Mr x. There were holes in my story that did not add right. Colleen (my therapist) knew that I was having sever back problems. She asked me how was my back? I told her that it had gotten worse. Infact, after finals next week I am going to have several injections at the bottom of my back. Then she asked about the sex itself. It must of hurt, she said. I told her it was painful. I told Mr X NO, I am a Christian, I don't believe premarital sex and plus my back hurts badly.He said he will no hurt me because that he loves me and he still claims he does. He still calls me even I told him that i do not want to date him anymore. At that night, I went to survival skills. I just did what he wanted me to do. I did not fight. I was afraid that my back was going to lock up and i would have to stay there longer. The one thing I just can not get out from my mind was when it was over he told me that I might not remember his name in the future, but I will always remember December 1, 2007. I felt sick. So that is the truth of Mr. X

It's finals week and I am doing OK. I'm still holding a B average. I have decided that I am getting my nursing degree in a different state. I am taking all my pre-req's here at the local community college. College is much different from the last time that I graduated there is so much technology.

I know one thing about my life, I am not letting things getting to me as they did at one time. Once my back is fixed, I can go back working part-time and eventually get off from disability. I want to go back to work and earn my own money.