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Messages By: woofieplayme
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August 25, 2007, 3:10 pm PDT
 Quote From: anon_slc In America there is a common misconception that children runaway from home because they are societal delinquents who want to be free of authority. The media depicts homeless and street kids as "rebels without a cause", as children who have no regard for society, who have no dreams and no aspirations for life but to get high.
We know this portrayal of homeless and street kids to be false. In fact we know that 90% of children who run away have encountered mental, physical, emotional, and/ or sexual abuse. No child wants to live on the streets. No child wants to have to beg, steal, sell drugs, and/ or themselves just to survive.
More than half of the children on the streets are still under the age of 15. Unable to legally work, these kids get involved in criminal activity just to survive. Based on current estimates, there are more than one and a half million children, teenagers and young adults trying to survive on the U.S. streets today. Children now make up 27 percent of the fastest growing segment of the U.S. homeless population.
For more info: www.turnpurple.org
The Turn Purple Campaign is the nations' first campaign against child abuse and the resulting problem of youth homelessness.
DON'T RUNAWAY - TELL SOMEONE YOU CAN TRUST
Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny. But just as physical and sexual abuse have signposts to mark their presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits. Just as physical and sexual abuse come in degrees of severity, emotional abuse runs the gamut of intensity and damage.
Anyone who had the misfortune of being raised by a parent who is cruel, vicious, vindictive, calculating, manipulative, a liar, cheat, selfish or neglectful may benefit from reading some of my favorite books on the subject:
Why is it Always About You? The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss
Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward
Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson
Surviving a Borderline Parent: How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR The Angry Heart: Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen
How to Journal for Therapy: http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm
If you tell your problem to someone that you can trust and still feel unhappy, unsafe, or uncomfortable, or if you don't trust anyone that you know, then you should CALL these numbers untill you speak with someone you can trust:
National Runaway Switchboard 1-800-RUNAWAY or 1-800-621-4000 Covenant House Nine Line 1-800-999-9999 Child HELP USA 1-800-4ACHILD Stand Up for Kids 1-800-365-4KID Volunteers of America www.voa.org
If you are unhappy or uncomfortable with something in your life it is up to you to change your situation and tell someone that you can trust.
Hope it helps!
I don't first hand, but we've all heard the horror stories about mixed families, but honestly most of them don't work out because there is lack of boundaries and communication. Single parents who feel like they have a 'void' in their lives should take greater care in making decisons where their children are concerned. When a couple starts out they always put there best foot forward- it's called 'courting'. The relationship is new, exciting and fulfilling. You don't get to see the true person for what they really are, and when the relationship gets serious, the childrens' roles should already be set in place. A man just doesn't marry a woman, he marries a family. There should be many family get togethers with the potential new man, and mom should be observing these get togethers with a keen eye. Body language plays a substantial part. I would be curious how a man would act during the course of an arguement or disagreement prior to nuptualls and I would observe them more than once. Take some advice and marry a friend. Your chances are exceeding greater of the relationship working. I married my friend almost 19yrs. ago and I couldn't be happier. But if a man were 'trying' to abuse my children, I would step in and try to disfuse the situation, and see if we could talk out our differences, but if said man touched my child in a abusive manner, Lets just say that said man would be sent packing immediately. If he truly cared, I would demand counciling til we reached the point that everyone would be on the same page and respected others involved. Don't fool yourself, children can push buttons too, to for all concerned you need to evaluate the situation and lay your personal feelings aside. Communication is vital in ANY relationship. Good luck in all your endeavors and GOD BLESS. |
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September 3, 2007, 3:03 am PDT
Quote From: gofigure
Nobody! but nobody can wreck your marriage but the two married people! The solution is simple. Stop allowing malicious gossip to affect how you respond! Mother-in-laws or mother-outlaws have no power, but the power you give them over your lives. Relatives do not have any rights when it comes to your marriage and family. So stop whinning about your mother-in-law and set the boundaries to prevent problems! Your mother-in-law bothers you because you allow her to bother you. Just stop-it ! Take authority over your lives and children. You can not reason with someone who is unreasonable! Keep people out of your married life and family life, that is your right! Mother-in-laws have no rights, but the rights you give them! So get a backbone!!! Clearly, this woman understands relationship issues in all facets of life, not just family issues. It's Called self esteem. No one has that kind of power over you unless you give into it. It took me 19yrs. to figure that out. People will bully you if you let them. Your right- you can't reason with an unreasonable person. We have two sons and have always taught them that in order to get respect, you have to give respect in return. They have come from humble beginings with a spiritual background. When they leave the 'nest', I hope that we've installed in them a sense of self respect, integrity,morality,compassion for their fellow man and self love. I actually like my kids and are lucky to have great repore with them, even through their teenage years, and bullying at school . If I may quote a phrase from Peter Finch in the movie "Network', "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any longer". A man is not defined by who he is, but by what he does. |
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