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Depressed
Message Emote 
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August 17, 2007, 7:32 am PDT
MISSING MOM
HI everyone,im kinda new at this, i lost my mom almost a year ago,well let me start a few steps back,i live in missouri, she lived in oklahoma,we were bout four hours away from each other, anyways, bout a year ago i got a call in the middle of the night bout 9 p.m. it was my brother, from oklahoma, he said my mom was on the way to the hospital,i knew it was going to take me four hours to get there, i had to get kids, pets an me on the road, we got bout two hours down the road, my sister called me on my cell, mom had passed away, i was to late,i could not get to her in time, and the weird thing is i had just talked to her two days before this all happened, but anyways i kept driving, i had to get there to see her an tell her good by, but i was also to late for that, my mother was an organ donor, by the time i got to oklahoma, they were moving her to tulsa, i could not see her, she also requested no funeral, i could not say good by, now almost a year later, i still have nightmares, seeing her tryin to talk to me, tring to reach me, i have put on almost 50 lbs or more in weight, threw myself in to work, shut most of my family out , have not called my dad in almost five months, everytime i try to call i get sick, have not been back to my mothers house since it all happend, have moved in to a depressed mood everyday, i never got to see her an say goodby, and i cant let go of her, we were very close, she was there when two of my children were born, and most of my life we were always together,now she is gone,and now i want to be alone an miserable,but i have two children , one with disibilities, that take alot of my time, and a daughter who is more or less, my shadow, even tho i have my kids, i cant seem to get by losing mom, i just want to quit every thing, , so maybe if dr. phil reads this maybe he can give me some advice, or anyone else, thanks for listening : K
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