Messages By: debmite

I am now 26 years old and feel that the overprotectiveness of my parents have done more more harm than good in the long run.  

I have a little bit of a different situation than most people. All throughout childhood, I had a heart problem that required heart surgeries. My parents were always overprotective of me because of this. Not only that, but my parents are critical. I couldn't  participate in sports in high school, I couldn't go away to college.... I have learned to fear the world and the people in it. I have always overheard my parents talking about how bad the world is and how you can't trust anybody.  

I still live with my parents and it sucks. I can't grow up. I feel that my parents did not allow me to make the mistakes I needed to in my own life to learn from them and  feel good about the choices I am making now. My self esteem is hurting. I can't feel good about the choices I make and I fear criticism and rejection. 

After a certain age, you have to let your children go.   

email me at della_anne@yahoo.com 

I am 23 years-old, and recently found a job through a summer youth program. I work at a food bank. This is where I met a guy I will call "Joe." Joe and I have been flirting, but the last few days it kind of wound down. I could see it in his eyes that he was thinking about not starting a relationship with me. He told me to give it time several weeks ago, and so I figured that I was being paranoid about the look in his eyes, because I am self-conscious. I am upset because I have been very distrustful of relationships, and then I meet "Joe," who is good looking, intelligent, and nice. I have lost a lot of respect for him, as he had none for me. Instead of talking with me privately, he had a conversation with other co-workers behind my back, then had another guy "Ben" tell me that he wasn't interested in a relationship. Am I disappointed, yes; do I respect his wishes? Definately. My problem, is that either a guy flirts, but doesn't ask me out; other guys only make comments about my body, so I avoid relationships with them (most times). I haven't dated in 2 years; my last date broke up with me the day after Valentine's Day, and I have never had an actual boyfriend, though my younger sisters and brother have had long term relationships. I am wonder, what am I doing wrong? What am I supposed to do to attract a good looking, intelligent, and nice man. What is wrong with me?