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Messages By: exrices

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October 29, 2007, 4:09 pm PDT

Let's Be Rational

Usually this type of occurance creates a highly charged atmosphere, but I can see points on all sides first the father, Enrique,  was understandably angered and hurt, but that is no excuse for abandoning the child.

The mother is clearly a liar and a deceitful person, and I saw no remorse in her demeanor. But don't worry, "what goes around comes around."  The real question here is how do we prevent this from happening again?

 

When a child is born mandatory blood tests should be taken as well as DNA within the first 48 hours. Then the parents will know immediately where they stand. (Look for a lot of broken relationships on this one!).

If this is not possible, I reccommend that ALL potential dads do this on their own. Remember that in many states if you don't protest after two years you are Stuck. I think this would keep most conniving females more honest.

 
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October 29, 2007, 4:33 pm PDT

Enrique's Wife

Quote From: becky_carter

 You're right! It was none of Enrique's wife's bussiness to begin with. I'm glad there are people who are  making sense about this issue.

How can you blame this woman for standing up for her interests. If this man paid child support for a child that is not his isn't that taking support from a legal child? Are you saying that the mother had no responsibility for this debacle?

 

I agrre that he should not  have broken his relationship with this child the way he did.

 

If it was your husband what would you do?

 
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October 29, 2007, 5:37 pm PDT

What??

Quote From: sammil23

I'm just absolutely amazed that these people were so focused on the money. And I'm including the "father", the wife, and even the audience and the male guest who favored the man who abandoned that poor little girl. How cold-hearted can people be?

If you ask that child, I can bet anyone that she couldn't care less about money. What she cares about is the fact that this heartless person abandoned her when she was a small child because he realized that they didn't share the same blood. SO WHAT? That is the child you held, said you loved, and cared for all those years. What kind of dirtbag leaves a child in that way? Who knew that a test result determined your love for a child!

Yes, the mother was wrong for lying. Does that make the man a victim as you said? No. He's an adult. He's not the victim. He's a pathetic excuse for life who couldn't care less about a child he once called his daughter, and then abandoned out of anger for the mother, and finds himself so focused on money, that he can't see how much he hurt and continues to hurt that child. And furthermore, HE of all people, thinks he has a right to be concerned about the possible adoption? SERIOUSLY? Somebody has a few screws loose. Sorry buddy, you lost that right to determine what goes on in that girl's life the moment you stepped out for asinine reasons.

Why didn't anybody mention that the real victim was the child? The child who now has to live with the fact that the man who she knew as her father abandonded her because MONEY was more important than their relationship. I sincerely hope that she never lets him back into her life. Who knows when she'll need him and he'll leave her again.

He should be ashamed. What a pathetic excuse for a human being. And what a pathetic follower for a wife, supporting a "man" for doing that to an innocent little child. Those crocodile tears he shed didn't fool me, and I hope they didn't fool anyone else either.
The father was absolutely wrong for abandoning that child! But you act as if its his fault that the ex-wife cheated. Maybe a cheating, lieing deceitful wife is OK in your world. Not in mine. She lied. Period. I reccomend that ALL men get a DNA test within 48 hours of a child's birth. If the wife/girlfriend is honest she should not be upset! Also if a man marries a woman with children from a previous relationship, I absolutely agree that he should step up to the plate and care for them as though they were his own. BUT this woman lied! She lied! She lied! She... You get the picture.
 
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October 29, 2007, 8:01 pm PDT

MET HER DEMONS?

Quote From: feliciamarkley

Selina was born to this man and woman through wed-lock. Selina called him daddy and only knew him as her dad. That is who you should be focused on. If we were talking about a piece of furniture here, you can bet he would have taken half of it!!!  He needs to pay for this child that was created under his roof. He held her and fed her and paid for her well being for ten years. It is not the childs fault. I do believe the mother has learned from this just like God would want her too. She met her demons and has to pay the price while she watches her daughter suffer from the loss of her father. Until you have been through something like this none of you can imagine what it is like!! 
Tell me, please, how does smiling and blaming the one you have decieved, help you meet your demons? Please, please wake up!
 
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October 29, 2007, 8:12 pm PDT

SMILING?

Quote From: cindylaramee

walk a mile in her shoes then judge everyone has demons think
!!

I agree, evryone has demons, but I sure as heck don;t smile and blame everyone else for the hurt I have caused!!
 
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October 29, 2007, 8:28 pm PDT

TRUTH

Quote From: missmanners

So many people and so many stories.  I like that Dr. Phil AND Gloria Allred kept trying to focus on the child and the impact this has on her.  It's done now, though, right?  The mom probably lied because she knew the man that she had cheated with was not the kind of man that she would want to raise her child.  She may have realized that it was all a horrible mistake but there was no going back.  She probably considered all of her options - abortion?  Would that have made her a better person?  Telling her husband?  So he could leave them all?  What if she left with her daughter and dealt with the pregnancy alone?   Probably not a plan at all and probably not even an option at the time.  The fact was that she was pregnant - and perhaps she was having intimate relations with her husband also - so she wasn't even sure! The fact was that she was pregnant and that's what she had to deal with.  If her husband knew they were having problems and had suspected anything and continued to stay with her and raise 'their' girls together - then the girls were THEIR girls!  How hard is that? 

 

I know the father said he regrets cutting off visitation with the daughter that is not biologically his - but biology had nothing to do with the emotional relationship he had already built with this child.   I think his new wife has a lot to do with everything.  Jealousy plays a big part in all of this.  The new wife thinks she has her husband's best interests at heart, but she also has to deal with his children.  Why couldn't she leave it alone? 

 

Yes, the TRUTH would have been nice.  But maybe it wouldn't have been.  The truth now is hurting so many people - including the innocents and that's so sad.  God bless them all, and especially the girls.  They weren't GIVEN anything with this information.  Look how much was taken away.

 

 

"You will know the the truth and the truth will make you free" John 8:32
 
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October 29, 2007, 8:38 pm PDT

Two wrongs do not make a right

Quote From: nedajoy

This is the first time I have responded to the Dr. Phil show! This show tore me up inside. Enrique and his girlfriend or wife or whatever she is makes me sick, she kept saying Oh, she lied, she lied, are you kidding , she doesn't care about the child she's interested in the money. We have gotten to be such a money grubbing society that we'll stop at nothing. If she truly cared about the child she would have encouraged Enrique to see the girl not just suudenly abandon her. If he had some backbone he would put the childs feelings before the girlfriend's bullshit!!!  Excuse my french!  As for Gloria, I like her and I'm going to purchase her book. I have a daughter whose ex has not paid child support, paid for any school fees, books, clothes, food, shelter for a year and a half for five children, which by the way are his  4 biologically, and one he adopted. She has to take whatever work she can to keep her head above water working long hours Night hours. I don't see many men going to jail for not paying child support they find ways to dodge around it. If the woman can't afford an attorney and you have to wait for a public defender you children could be grown before they get to your case. Poor men I feel soooo sorry for them HA. HA.!!!
Just because you have a bitter exprerience with your ex please do not paint all men with the same brush. I t sounds like your bitterness has trumped your logic and sense of decency and fair play. Are you saying that a women who cheats on her husband and commits adultry and lies about it is ok to fool the very man she vowed to love? I have advised all my male off spring to be very, very careful who they see and don't trust any skirt.!!
 
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October 29, 2007, 9:15 pm PDT

Alternative thought

Quote From: marthahascall

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE I FIND FUNNY IF MY HUSBAND WANTED A PATERNITY TEST DONE TO SEE IF MY SON IS HIS OR NOT  I WOULD LET HIM BUT MAN I'D BE PISSED AND YOU'D BET I'D NEVER TRUST HIM FULLY AGAIN IF HE CAN'T TRUST ME THEN WHAT HAS HE DONE.   SO IN THIS SITUATION THE WOMAN EVEN SAID THEY'RE RELATIONSHIP HAD ALREADY HAD ITS PROBLEMS SO HE IS EXPECTED TO ASK HIS WIFE WHOM HE'S SUPPOSED TO TRUST WITH HIS WHOLE HEART FOR A PATERNITY TEST EVEN THOUGH THEY WERE STILL MARRIED AND TRYING TO HAVE A NORMAL RELATIONSHIP..... YEAH THAT WOULD HAVE WENT OVER WELL ESPECIALLY IF SHE NEVER DID CHEAT ON HIM.  SO THE MAN IS GOING TO HAVE A HORRIBLE MARRIAGE AND POSSIBLY DIVORCE LATER ON BECAUSE HE DIDN'T TRUST HIS WIFE.... OR.... IF HE DOESN'T ASK AND GOD FORBIDS THEY STILL GET A DIVORCE LATER ON HE WILL BE PAYING FOR A CHILD NOT HIS OWN...... SOUNDS LIKE MEN ARE GETTING SCREWED ALL THE WAY AROUND
If my wife asked me to take a lie detector test to see if I had been cheating on her in our marriage. I would not hesitate to comply and I would not be angry or distrudtful of her. So why should you be upset if your husband/boyfriend asks you for a DNA test. Trust needs to be earned. Because in this day and age there is a lot of deceit going on. Ever watch the TV show "Cheaters"? By the way we have been married 46 years with 6 children and 30 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren..
 
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October 30, 2007, 5:25 pm PDT

LOVE vs TRUST

Quote From: marthahascall

YOU KNOW MY HUSBAND HAS THAT EXACT OPINION AND TO BE HONEST I'M STARTING TO FEEL THAT WAY MYSELF HOWEVER TRUST SHOULD BE EARNED BEFORE YOU SAY I DO THATS THE PROBLEM AND WHY THERE IS SO MUCH "DECEIT GOING ON" TODAY BECAUSE PEOPLE DON'T GET TO KNOW AND TRUST THEIR SPOUSE BEFORE SAYING I DO.......SO ONCE AGAIN I STAND BY MY COMMENT AND IF MY HUSBAND CAN'T TRUST ME NOW THEN YOU BETTER BELIEVE I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO TRUST HIM AND I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG OUR MARRIAGE WOULD LAST MARRIAGE IS BUILT ON LOVE AND TRUST

Thanks for the comments. I agree that sometimes people marry for the wrong reasons and at the wrong time. You have some very interesting views on love and trust. Love and trust should be inclusive in ANY relationship, not just marriage.

 

How ever, love and trust ARE two different things. You can love someone, but they don't have to love you! And if someone leads you to believe that they love you and they don't, then you have a distrustful situation. Some people have found out that their mate that they love and trust has a sex addiction, and they have sex(sometimes unprotected with multiple partners).

 

They may find that they love that person deeply, but cannot trust them any more. That is why I will do anything possible in my marriage to put my wife's mind at ease if she requested me to do so. Some times we may become involved with a mate who has trust issues due to other experiences, and if you truly love that person you may have to do whatever you can to set their mind at ease.

 
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October 30, 2007, 6:46 pm PDT

TRUTH IS TRUTH

Quote From: ladypat26

I do not support the liar or the man(?) who devastated the child.  The only victim here is the child and if the so called dogooder 2nd wife would have kept her thoughts to herself this child could have grown up feeling loved, wanted, and secure.  I don't give a hoot for any of the adults, I can see all their faults.  It is the child that saddened my heart.  Just because something is the truth doesn't mean you have to say it.  "My what an ugly fat face you have."  That might be the truth, but would you appreciate it if it were said to you in public or private for that matter??  Sometimes it is more beneficial to just keep quiet.
AND NO I have not done this to anyone EVER. 

I am very happy that I am not married to someone like YOU!!  A woman who allows her supposed love one to go through life being duped by some one else, is just as bad as the duper! I f my wife withheld her

thoughts about a situation such as this I do not think that I could trust her in anything else. This man did not have to do anything except listen! He made the choice to cut off ties with his psuedo-daughter. By your reasoning, may be we should shoot all messengers of truth, especially new wives and let the deceitful, lying, cheating,spiteful bitches who perpetrate frauds such as this rejoice!!

 

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