Messages By: girl02

Quote From: kimbies

 I am a mother of five children and in Aug. of 2004 my "husband" had a mental breakdown and was diagnosed bipolar with dillutional disorder. He had a life that I knew nothing about, he had a long lasting affair with two children with the lady, loans and credit cards like crazy and even signed my name to things I knew nithing about. I am still amazed that he was able to turn it on and off like a light switch! I didn't see any signs or warning signals! 

Our life has been ruined! I  stood by him for 17 months of him being in and out of the hospital. He refuses to stay on his medicine and as a result has "two voices" that are two freinds from his past that gave him signs to follow, if he fails then he says they will kill him. When I saw what it was doing to my kids, my 3 year old daughter was crying uncontrolable because she thought someone was going to kill her Dad, along with the fact that his family was becoming emotionally abusive to myself and my kids ( go figure, all of this was my fault and boy did they call me all sorts of names and tried to take my kids from me and cuased me so much extra stress that friends were afraid that I was about to have a breakdown myself! ), adding the fact that he had us so far in trouble that we became homeless, I left town with my children and we are now staying with family! 

Now, I am every bad name in the book and my kids and I are struggeking to get by, I haven't seen a sign of support or help yet his father bought him a home, pays all his bills and gives him money for everything he wants yet my kids are eating penutbutter, wearing old torn clothes and shoes and have lost everything they new in life!   

I am trying to find a job but at 39 and no skills ( I was a stay at home mom ) I can not finding anything and the few jobs that I  were available  don't even pay enough to cover child care........ 

We have searched for help and one thing we have learned for sure is that the mental health profession is seriously lacking! Getting him help is next to impossible! When he is in the hospital it is only for a few days and they don't really help and they dismiss me like I am stupid! We lost our insurance and the shots he was on was 600.00 every two weeks! at this current moment he has been off his medicine for 8 weeks and is spiraling out of control very fast!!! I am afraid of him and his family! He wants to see the kids but is not very stable! The school is even been told because his family has said they will help him kidnap the kids and go into hiding so I will never see them again! 

I live in constant  fear and a state of depression! I use to worry about putting my kids through college and now I worry about just having food to eat and finding someplace to live!!! 

I am out of options and hope! I pray that this show will give me some ideas as to where to go for help. 

You say he turned it off for four months, mine was able to do so for 15 years!  It is hard enough to dealwith but add being unfaithful on top off it and it can tear out your heart! I don't know if your husband is like mine, but please check your credit reports, your checking and savings accounts, and anything else that pertians to money! He even borried against our life insurance policies! 

  

I plead with everyone in this position to take steps to protect yourself! My family is ruined,our life is ruined! I don't know if I will ever be to correct all the damage he has done! 

  

If there are support groups or organizations that people can turn to for help, please speak up.... there are so many of us looking for help! 

  

I wish you the best of luck! I hope you find the answers we all need! 

Quote From: ritehere

 We teach others how to treat us. Your father is teaching you how to run away from him. Don't feel guilty about it and don't apologise for it. Parents are supposed to be loving and nurturing, but some are not. That is not your fault. It's only your fault if you follow in his footsteps. If he is that bad, maybe you can give your younger siblings a safe place to land when you get out. Personally, I wouldn't wait too long, I would rent for awhile if I had to.
I had a friend when I was a young adult who left home at 17. She had herself declared an adult and worked parttime after school, while living at a friend's till she graduated. She would take in her mother and younger brother and sister when the father was drinking and beating on them. I never could understand why the mother stayed with him, but she did. We can choose not behave the way we were taught, and we can choose good people to surround us.

Quote From: jbutler70

So...there's something to be said for a friend who "has your back."  There's something else entirely to be said for this meddling/overbearing "best friend".  She obviously needs to get a life.  I was shocked that Dr. Phil allowed her to be the gossiping/meddling friend and treat her like an expert.  Last I knew, a marriage was still between 2 people. 

The "handsome firefighter" needs to have a hose put on himself.  He's obviously not worth the chair he's sitting in.  And why this ex-wife/mom is just sitting there being a party to it is beyond me.  Take some control over your life.  Boot them both out and do what's best for the kids.

Quote From: tigerclub

I'm not sure why she is in the middle of this, she should butt out. WHO IS IN THIS MARRIAGE..

 

Do you really think that he will change?

Quote From: kyrosemom

Why is the MIL worthy of respect, but the DIL isn't?

 

The MIL needs to grow the hell up and be an example. This DIL is right.