Messages By: nperry123

Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) is a psychological disorder characterized by pervasive instability in self-image, behavior, moods, and interpersonal relationships.  This instability often disrupts family and work life, long-term planning, and the individual's sense of self-identity. 

While less known than schizophrenia or bipolar disorder (manic-depressive illness), BPD is more common, affecting 2% of adults (1-33), mostly females.  Some of my favorite books that provide a great introduction and insight are:

Emotional Blackmail:  When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward AND Why is it Always About You?  The Seven Deadly Sins of Narcissism by Sandy Hotchkiss

Get Me Out of Here:  My Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder by Rachel Reiland OR Girl Interrupted by Susanna Kaysen OR Stop Walking on Eggshells:  Taking Your Life Back...by Paul Mason and Randi Kreger

Understanding the Borderline (Parent) Mother:  Helping Her Children Transcend the Intense, Unpredictable and Volatile Relationship by Christine Ann Lawson OR Surviving a Borderline Parent:  How to Heal Your Childhood Wounds & Build Trust, Boundaries and Self-Esteem by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman OR The Angry Heart:  Overcoming Borderline and Addictive Disorders by Joseph Santoro and Ronald Cohen

High Conflict People in Legal Disputes by Bill Eddy OR Divorce Poison:  Protecting the Parent-Child Bond from a Vindictive (Relative) Ex by Richard Warshak

How to Journal for Therapy:

http://arar.essortment.com/therapyjournali_repu.htm 

Healing Anxiety and Depression (7 types of anxiety and depression) by Daniel Amen and Lisa Routh OR Getting Help:  The Complete and Authoritative Guide to Self-Assessment and Treatment of Mental Health Problems by Jeffrey Wood

Though harder to spot, emotional abuse is easier to deny.  But just as physical abuse has signposts to mark its presence, emotional abuse, being a systematic attack on one's sense of self, has common traits.  Physical abuse comes in degrees of severity - emotional abuse also runs the gamut of intensity and damage.

There are relationships, marriages and families that are so destructive the only option is for a person to get out.  Get out with the little bit of sanity you may have remaining.  Make a promise to yourself to leave.  Leave so you can begin a life of healing and recovery.  Leave so you can learn to live a joyful, peaceful, trusting, supportive, and fulfilling life.

Hope it helps!

Why are men mentally/emotionally abusive? Reading this site-I thought I knew 2 of them--only to find it's a huge problem in todays society.

 Is it a bully thing?

Is it a to be a guy thing? 

Is it a guilt trip thing?   

How do we change todays boys into tomorrows men?

Children who bully in schools are not just cruel, they are sadistic. They derive pleasure in the suffering they inflict on others. Dawn is a result of schools that allow bullies to prey on the insecure. Schools need to stop bullies now, not say the bullies are going through a period, not say that it's part of growing up.

Children who abuse other children, have the mental mindset for growing up to become abusers. Nobody should have to be terrified of going to school. Put these sadists where they belong, in juvenile hall, or a specialized school where they can try to survive with their own. Maybe after being targeted they'll learn a lesson about what they do to others. Monsters don't deserve an education.

Hi,

You sound like a great guy. I agree with you totally about woman doing this, there is no stability anymore.

Anyway, it doesn't sound like you'll be single for long!!!

have a nice day

Have you ever had someone put dog food in bubblegum? Have you ever had to wear orthopedic gear and braces to school? She's a victim. I'm sorry you can't see it that way. She hurts people because she's been hurt.  She's afraid to be rejected because all she's known in life is rejection. Can you imagine that? She feels it will only be a matter of time before she's rejected, so she should cut to the chase, and leave the relationship before it happens.

She wouldn't be like this if our schools delt with bullies as they are, cruel sadists preying on targets. This is a message to everyone that bullying is not a small issue, it destroys lives. I understand she is hurting other people, but this is because she has not come to terms with all the pain that was unjustly given to her by monsters, who saw her as prey. Do you think it's reasonable to emotionaly abuse and torture someone just because they might be different, or not fit in?

What I got out of your original post was that, boys grow up to be abusive men because of the women's liberation movement. Because women are not staying at home and raising thier children. Even though I chose to stay at home, that doesn't mean that ALL women should stay at home. There are a lot of dynamics in play when boys or girls for that matter grow up to be controlling and abusive adults. IMO to say that women shouldn't have careers, should stay in the home, is to take a step backward. If I have misunderstood what you were saying, I apologize.