Messages By: littlemsmorbid

...when the woman was fully AWARE that the child may not belong to the man that she identified as the father.  It is a vicious lie that is perpetrated by  women everyday. It ruins lives.  Primarily the lives of the innocent children who had no say in the matter.  Women like her give us all a bad name.  I think the "father" should continue the relationship with the child and provide support to her as he sees fit.  He can buy that child anything she wants, spend time with her, take her on vacations, have visitation, love her uncionditionally and be a father to her without handing his hard earned money to a woman that chose to lie to him. 

 

Child support is intended for the child but is rarely spent on them in its entirety.  My husband's *baby's mama* called us  to tell us how she used child support payments to buy her 18yo daughter (from a previous relationship) a car $5000 and herself a $500 camera.  That money was intended to suport the child that he *believes* is his but who knows??? We can't afford paternity tests.  We have no means to facilitate a relationship with her bc we barely have the money to get back and forth to work and they moved over 8 hours away from us without telling us that they were leaving.  We had no idea where they were until we were hit with child support almost 5 years later.  Plenty of time to build up a significant amount of arrears.  When she did start to receive the money she not only got his taxes but also an additional $400 a month.    The mother is untouchable and never held responsible for her actions in creating a life.  It is often assumed that her intentions were honorable when they really were not.  The mother in our case stated repeatedly to every one that would listen that she was sterile.  Due to her *advanced* age he assumed that she was telling the truth.  Arent' you suppoed to be able to trust the person you are in a relationship with???? What was he supposed to do??? Take her to the doctor to to get medical verification of her inability to conceive???    Currently we support our family of five on $200 a week due to excessive child support payments. 

 

The biological father should be held financially responsible.  Does he now owe 13 years of child support arrears?? Can she get support from both men???  These women often live *high on the hog* (not only do they receive child support but also welfare, food stamps, medicaid, etc)  leaving the man unable to support himself or even children from a present or previous relationship.  That woman chose to do what she did knowing full and well what the end result might be.   It's time for her to finally face the music.  She owes an awful lot of people a lot more than they owe her. 

100% with this statement.  Too many women have come to see getting pregnant as a way to get a *meal ticket*.  It has become a means to trap a man at any cost. Bottom line is...if you don't want to take a chance on having a child with someone don't lay down with them in the first place.  if you do choose to go there anyway, there are ways to avoid an unintentional conception.  Use three means of birth control if necessary.  If you do not know beyond every shadow of a doubt that you are willing to potentially conceive a child with someone don't have sex with them.  An ounce of prevention is worth 10,000 pounds of cure.  For a situation like this there is no cure, only damage control.  Stop this madness NOW!  It is no wonder our kids are struggling to survive this day and age. 

...is always lost in situations like these.  It is so sad.  That is the main reason I CHOSE not to seek child support from my youngest daughter's biological father.  Knowing that he was worthless and that pursuing that avenue would be much like getting blood out of a turnip, I chose not to go there at all.  All in all it protected her from the trauma she would have endured because of it.  He was an abusive alcoholic with a life threatening gambling addiction and a dysfucntional existence that would have done nothing but bring her pain.  He's been out of our lives since she was six months old and it was the best thing I've ever done.  I wrote an article about it to bring attention to this side of the child support coin.  It is hard to live without that financial support but it can be done.  Thank the gods I have a good man that stepped up to fill his irresponsible shoes and be the kind of father that she can be proud of.  He supports not only my 3 kids from two previous marriages but also his daughter from a previous relationship.  We dont make it through the weekend without being broke, cant afford to do any real grocery shopping...the trailer we live in is falling apart because we cant afford the necessary repairs but we are happy and safe and love each other and that matters above everything else.