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Messages By: suthernthang24

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October 27, 2007, 5:30 pm PDT

Shouldn't men get a say so?

My husband was a victim of Paternity Fraud. He asked her if the child was his while she was still pregnant, because her ex boyfriend told people it was his baby, and she lied and said her ex was just trying to start trouble. Long story short, she did cheat and she lied about the paternity.

Shouldn't men get to decide whether they even want to stay married to someone who cheated on them and whether to raise another man's baby?

Like Carnell said, DNA needs to be mandatory at each and every birth. This way men would KNOW for certain and he would get to make the decision for HIMSELF whether to raise another man's child or not. Either way, he would have a say so and it would be up to him, NOT the women!  I don't think the choice should be made FOR him.

Why should a man have to pay support for another man's child, just because maybe he makes more money than the bio dad, or just because she is afraid he will leave her? He still has a right to know the truth.

Right now, if a man finds out, most times he is still forced to pay support. Go after the bio dad, make the mother pay back every red cent to the man who had been paying support. Yes, sometimes there is a bond there and that's the only father the child has known, but would the man have ever had that bond to begin with had he known his wife cheated and the child wasn't even his??

What's so hard about making DNA testing mandatory at birth, whether you're married or not, and this would put  STOP to Paternity Fraud?!

 
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October 29, 2007, 6:26 am PDT

Fraud

Quote From: fromthesquare

Imagine the other side of the coin?  The man raises the child as his own, making that child part of his world.  Suppose the wife suspected the child was not her husband's but did not tell him.  Shameful, right?  In a divorce should the wife be able to produce DNA evidence and exclude the man from the life of the child?  Colorado's laws on this protect both parties and the child.

Nope, she shouldn't, BUT it happens.....

The point being...a man should have a choice, it should NOT be made for him.

I think he should not have hand over financiall support to the woman who decieved him.  Let her go find the bio dad and let him support the child financially. Would the husband even have stayed in the marriage had he known his wife cheated and the child wasn't his? Who knowns? He was never given the choice!

What about the emotional bond she robbed the child of with her bio dad? He has missed out also.

And really, if you think about it, I don't think a woman should be able to go after a man out of the blue and demand child support from he bio dad and then they go back all those years and make him pay..it should start from the time he found out, because once again, it's her fault for waiting so long, plus she should have to pay back all the money she frauded the alleged father of.

 
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October 29, 2007, 10:09 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: emksmama

There should be no fussing over this one. Biological father should pay ex-husband back child support and the ex-husband should be given a court order for visitation to see the child. The child should be told in the presents of mental health professional and have access to a professional on a regular basis.

I don't think the bio should should have to repay the ex-husband because it isn't his fault he never knew. I think the wife should have to repay the ex-husband, since she committed the fraud. I do believe the bio dad should have to pay from the day he finds out forward, but shouldn't have to pay any back support, since the mother CHOSE not to contact him and let him know to begin with like she should have done.

Just something to think about.
I agree with everything else though.

 
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October 29, 2007, 10:19 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: daytripper

There seems to be lots of opinion about the sins of the mother and the horrible response of the "dad" but has any one including Dr. Phil thought to ask why the second wife would even bring up her suspicions regarding paternity with the man she "loved"?  She apparently met him as a man with two daughters and it seems needlessly cruel to me that she decided to even open up the possibility that he was not the biological father.  Was it for love or money? What was she really trying to achieve? She was quite smug in the face of a childs pain and Dr. Phil let her off way to easy! Was there any merit in both taking away the girls father and publicly stamping the scarlett A on the mom?  This step mom personifies the reasons it's so hard to blend a family.  I know that fathers rights have been trampled on by our legal system but this was a horrible example of a way to get "justice".

This shouldn't be about the "new" wife. This needs to be about the fact that the mother committed Paternity Fraud!

What does it matter WHY she brought it up? Maybe she had good reason, maybe not.

Besides, I'm sure she had no way of knowing what her husband's choice would be. And shouldn't he be allowed to make whatever choice he wants to since he obviously wasn't told in the beginnning there was a possibility it wasn't his child.

Enrique is only human and I can only imgine how heartbroken he was when he found out this devastating news.

The child is a victim in this, I agree 100%, but Enrique is also a victim.

 

  

 
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October 29, 2007, 10:27 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: sassypants32

So it's the mother's fault??? Mr. Dad has eyes so why wait until wife number two comes along to question his parenthood? Maybe step mom wants the money to stay home. You don't love and care for a child for ten years then say since I found out your not my daughter see ya!!!! Yes maybe mom was wrong in not telling but how much more Selina would be adjusted if she didn't have to be told by a trip to the park and then abandonment. I'm fifty nine and still in treatment for past experiences that were not my fault. Don't you think that Mom isn't taking responsibility ,she lives with her child and I'm sure when sister goes off to visit Dad that Mom is home comforting her daughter and realizing what she has done. Raising children is expensive and child support doesn't make a dent. Yes, Chris should adopt Selina and give her the father she needs for the rest of her life. My husband treated our daughter as his own and she knew she was loved. She was told when she was sixteen. She never asked about who her father was until she was in her twenties when she made the choice to find out. This didn't happen at such a tender age as Selina. Mr. Dad was only thinking of himself and maybe Mom was trying to let things slide to have things not turn out how they have.As far as step Mom She's totally at fault to butting in and hurting a beautiful young girl. Maybe for a little extra money in her pocket. I hope both girls continue to bond as sisters and have a loving family.

Umm, yeah, it's the mother's fault 100%. The step mom never held a gun to Maria's head and forced her to get into bed with someone else while she was still married, and then keep it a secret that Enrique may not be the father.....Mia wasn't even in the picture then.

Just because the child lives with Maria doesn't mean she is taking responsibility for her actions. We don't know that she isn't badmouthing Enrique to her daughter every chance she gets. We don't know what is said.

Yes, maybe Enrique could have handled things differently, but we aren't the one who found out the wife cheated and got pregnant by someone else and that he child isn't ours......everyone reacts differently.

 
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October 29, 2007, 10:28 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: sassypants32

So it's the mother's fault??? Mr. Dad has eyes so why wait until wife number two comes along to question his parenthood? Maybe step mom wants the money to stay home. You don't love and care for a child for ten years then say since I found out your not my daughter see ya!!!! Yes maybe mom was wrong in not telling but how much more Selina would be adjusted if she didn't have to be told by a trip to the park and then abandonment. I'm fifty nine and still in treatment for past experiences that were not my fault. Don't you think that Mom isn't taking responsibility ,she lives with her child and I'm sure when sister goes off to visit Dad that Mom is home comforting her daughter and realizing what she has done. Raising children is expensive and child support doesn't make a dent. Yes, Chris should adopt Selina and give her the father she needs for the rest of her life. My husband treated our daughter as his own and she knew she was loved. She was told when she was sixteen. She never asked about who her father was until she was in her twenties when she made the choice to find out. This didn't happen at such a tender age as Selina. Mr. Dad was only thinking of himself and maybe Mom was trying to let things slide to have things not turn out how they have.As far as step Mom She's totally at fault to butting in and hurting a beautiful young girl. Maybe for a little extra money in her pocket. I hope both girls continue to bond as sisters and have a loving family.

Umm, yeah, it's the mother's fault 100%. The step mom never held a gun to Maria's head and forced her to get into bed with someone else while she was still married, and then keep it a secret that Enrique may not be the father.....Mia wasn't even in the picture then.

Just because the child lives with Maria doesn't mean she is taking responsibility for her actions. We don't know that she isn't badmouthing Enrique to her daughter every chance she gets. We don't know what is said.

Yes, maybe Enrique could have handled things differently, but we aren't the one who found out the wife cheated and got pregnant by someone else and that he child isn't ours......everyone reacts differently.

 
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October 29, 2007, 10:32 am PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: sassypants32

So it's the mother's fault??? Mr. Dad has eyes so why wait until wife number two comes along to question his parenthood? Maybe step mom wants the money to stay home. You don't love and care for a child for ten years then say since I found out your not my daughter see ya!!!! Yes maybe mom was wrong in not telling but how much more Selina would be adjusted if she didn't have to be told by a trip to the park and then abandonment. I'm fifty nine and still in treatment for past experiences that were not my fault. Don't you think that Mom isn't taking responsibility ,she lives with her child and I'm sure when sister goes off to visit Dad that Mom is home comforting her daughter and realizing what she has done. Raising children is expensive and child support doesn't make a dent. Yes, Chris should adopt Selina and give her the father she needs for the rest of her life. My husband treated our daughter as his own and she knew she was loved. She was told when she was sixteen. She never asked about who her father was until she was in her twenties when she made the choice to find out. This didn't happen at such a tender age as Selina. Mr. Dad was only thinking of himself and maybe Mom was trying to let things slide to have things not turn out how they have.As far as step Mom She's totally at fault to butting in and hurting a beautiful young girl. Maybe for a little extra money in her pocket. I hope both girls continue to bond as sisters and have a loving family.

Umm, yeah, it's the mother's fault 100%. The step mom never held a gun to Maria's head and forced her to get into bed with someone else while she was still married, and then keep it a secret that Enrique may not be the father.....Mia wasn't even in the picture then.

Just because the child lives with Maria doesn't mean she is taking responsibility for her actions. We don't know that she isn't badmouthing Enrique to her daughter every chance she gets. We don't know what is said.

Yes, maybe Enrique could have handled things differently, but we aren't the one who found out the wife cheated and got pregnant by someone else and that he child isn't ours......everyone reacts differently.

 
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October 29, 2007, 2:24 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: younmotherof3

If you did you woulndn't sit there and let these 2 women decide your feature.  When MiMi or Mia or whatever her name is said that it wasn't your child you should have just said yes she is end of story.  But if I had a child and found out it wasn't mine after 9 years I would never let that effect my relationship with them.  Especially over money.  If that is all your worried about then you don't have a heart or soul.  JUst because your new wife doesn't care about your kids and only cares about the money doesn't mean you have to stop loving them.. Maybe you should grow some balls and tell her to stay out of your relationship with them if she doesn't like them.As a single mother it is understood you come with the children but when they come only on the weekend and as a financial resonsbility it is easier to disclaim them.  If your sinificant other would not have said anything and loved your child the way you should have been everyone would still be happy.  Who cares if her mother made a mistake 10 years ago is money really more important than i child?  To a money grubber like Mia it is probably so!

I think when Mia suggested a DNA test, that Enrique had a right to know. I don't know where you got that money is all he was worried about. There wouldn't even be an issue had the mother not committed Paternity Fraud.

Sounds like the mother is only interested in money.  If there were anything to her, she would have been honest to begin with and now that she is exposed, she is throwing blame everywhere but on herself.

Who cares if Mia suggested a DNA test? That's irrelevant.

Once exposed, the mother could have said she was sorry and told him he didn't have to pay support and ENCOURAGED visitation. But she didn't. Now.....who isn't putting the child first?

Money? The only money grubber I see is the mother........why didn't Maria go after the bio dad to begin with? Oh, yeah, maybe because she knew she would get child support from a MD....ya think?

 
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October 29, 2007, 2:44 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: isabelann

while I do not advocate all the lying that has occured here I do feel that the motives of the new wife were unbelievably selfish!!!---it seems the more money she saw being paid out from her household the more she planted the idea into her husband's head and then led him down the DNA road by his nose without any thought at all at what this may do to the life of an innocent child.----IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY---CONGRATULATIONS!!!---YOU WON!!--THE TRUTH IS OUT---THE REAL PRICE? THAT REJECTION OF A BEAUTIFUL CHILD!!--GOOD FOR YOU!

Motives of the new wife? Who said she had a motive?

Her husband deserved to know the truth...the child deserves to know the truth.

How could Mia have known that the mother would show no remorse? How could Mia have known that the mother would not suggest him paying no child support and instead, encouraging visitation? How could Mia have known the outcome?

You are missing the real issue.....it's called Paternity FRAUD........

Mia never stuck a gun to the mother's head and made her cheat and get pregnant nor did she make the mother lie about the paternity.

You are right about one thing though.............IT WAS ALL ABOUT THE MONEY................to the MOTHER..........why would she go after the BIO dad for support when she can go after a MD??????

Congrats should go to the MOTHER.............no telling what all she got out of it all those years..........she WON for 10 years.....................AND BECAUSE OF THE MOTHER'S ACTIONS ALL THOSE YEARS AGO, YES, A CHILD WAS HURT OUT OF IT.

MAYBE YOU SWHOULD STOP AND THINK THAT THE MOTHER SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THE OUTCOME ALL THOSE YEARS AGO WHEN SHE MADE THE CHOICE TO KEEP QUIET ABOUT THE PATERNITY OF THE CHILD. NONE OF THIS WOULD BE HAPPENING IF SHE HAD DECIDED TO BE HONEST ABOUT THE PATERNITY.  MAYBE ENRIQUE WOULD HAVE WALKED AWAY FROM THE BEGINNING.

I do feel bad for the child, but she also deserves to know her bio dad and HER BIO DAD DESERVES TO KNOW HER.

 
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October 30, 2007, 5:15 am PDT

Carnell couldn't get a word in Edgewise because Gloria kept making pointless issues

Quote From: chelly6269

Carnell you have done more damage to women everywhere trying to get what they need to raise their children.  Paternity fraud is no where near the crime that DEADBEAT dads are.  Shame on you for thinking a couple dudes paying for kids is such an issue--if your out running like a dog I am sure you got a baby out there somewhere-go ahead and pay for one and hope someone else pays for yours.

She brought up deadbeat dads.....this show wasn't about deadbeat dads, it was about Paternity Fraud.

That is just as big an issue as deadbeat dads, if not worse.

What damage has he caused? What were your words...."done more damage to women everywhere trying to get what they need to raise their children"...............he hasn't done that...........I think what you meant was..Carnell has damaged women from "father shopping".......you know, going after the man who makes more money, rather than going after the bio dad, who more than likely, makes either nothing or next to nothing.

I don't think Carnell would have a problem supporting his OWN child. Did you not hear  him? He paid support on a child for 11 years, who come to find out, wasn't his. You're just assuming he has a child out there. If he does and doesn't know about, the fault would lie with the MOTHER out there, for failing to tell him.

 

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