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October 29, 2007, 2:42 pm PDT

The only Victim here is the child

First off, the new wife knew this man raised and considered this girl his daughter her whole entire life, she was 10 not 1 when she convinced him to do a DNA test. If she was any kind of a women she would have kept her mouth shut and have been proud to have been with a man that was willing to be a wonderful father even though seperated from the child's mother. How proud of herself she must be to know she definately played a hand in Selena's hurt.

How dare this man walk away and treat this girl as a stranger after raising her and loving her as his own for 10 years. Is if fair that he was lied to all this time? absolutely not but it was unfair to punish the mother through the child. I can't blame Selena for not trusting him. His so called need for "justice" could have ruined this girl for the rest of her life when it comes to her self esteem and future relationships.

The mother seems more concerned about the loss of child support than she does about the emotional stability of her daughter. She laughs and acts as though this is a great feat for her to have the law on her side when it comes to child support but I wonder how much she'll laugh later on when it comes back to bite her you know where.

The only victim here is Selena, I have no sympathy or respect for either parent or the new wife and the only responsible adult amongst all of these people seems to be the new husband.

Disgusting set of people, RUN SELENA RUN!

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sportyster

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October 29, 2007, 6:30 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: mydubois

Dr. Phil. I can't believe the way this topic is being discussed. What about the feelings of Enrique who has been decieved into loving this child as his own? The daughters are blaming him. The Mother is obviously filling those girls" heads full of lies. He should have no financial obligation to that child. And I think the way he did tell her was incredibly commendable. Though she should have heard it from her Mother who lied, deceived and cheated everyone in this situation. I don't know who she thinks she is. She should be arrested for adultery and paternity fraud!!!!!!!! I can't believe how much heat this poor man is taking because of this.

Enrique is an adult and not only that, he's an educated man in the medical profession! How could he not have known what consequences his actions would have on his daughter emotionaly? To place all the blame soley at the mother's feet is allowing this man the cop out he wants so he doesn't need to be emotionally involved with HIS actions towards Selena's well being.

Enrique may not have a financial obligation towards Selena but he absolutely without a doubt had an emotional obligation towards "that child". For Enrique to kick Selena out of the car because she is not is bio kid is more cold and calculating that what the mother done.

Since when do finances become more important than the welfare of the child? At 10 years old Selena doesn't understand or care about the legalities when her heart was suddenly broken from the man she considered her father blatantly pushing her out of his life.

This "poor man" is taking so much heat because he as an adult couldn't control his own feelings long enough long enough to not stomp on the only victim here and that is Selena. His ex wife lying was the catalyst however, Enrique was responsible for how he chose to deal with it and in this typical "pass the buck" society it is easier to blame the mother for everything than Enrique owning up to his own part in causing Selena's pain.

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sportyster

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October 31, 2007, 1:19 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Seems as though the main problem here is the money. Everyone is going on about the child support and how Enrique is a "victim". Yea he lost out on money paying support for a child that wasn't his however, money can be remade. The man is in the medical profession so he isn't hurting by any means. What was lost was the relationship between "father" and "daughter" and that may never be remade. Enrique had 10 great years with a girl he presumed to be his daughter, she even picked up on habits and traits of his even though they weren't biologically connected they were emotionally connected. Since when is money worth losing that?

The mother is to blame for this mess and that will be between her and Selina to deal with. Enrique acted on emotion and as an adult he should have been able to put his pain aside for a girl he thought of as a daughter, you can't tell me that a DNA test automatically erases love. That is between he and Selina to deal with. People accuse the girl of being coached by the mother but how can the girl be coached about the actual pain she must of felt when she was told she wasn't his daughter and then abandoned while Enrique still carried on a relationship with her sister.

Maria is responsible for her role in cheating and lying but Enrique is equally responsible for how he dealt with it and treated Selina. He CHOSE to push her out so he could show the courts that he wasn't emotionally involved so he didn't have to pay child support any longer to the courts. I wonder how both of these people (Maria and Enrique) will feel about the money aspect if Selina developes emotional issues later on in life because of this.

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sportyster

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October 31, 2007, 8:03 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: christab

Why would I, or anybody else for that matter, intentionally get involved with someone who wouldn't put me first in their life?

You bet your @ss I'm not selfish..I JUST KNOW MY WORTH and it is not to be second to anybody.

I am pretty sure that even Dr Phil said somewhere that the marriage comes first. If it doesn't, everything else fails because there is no foundation.

So you go a head and put your kids first and I'm sure we'll see you and your soon to be ex-husband on Dr Phil a few years from now talking about how you don't know where it went wrong.

Mark my words....

Wow I sure hope that you never have children. Loving parents do in fact put their children first, above themselves and anyone else in their lives. That is what unconditional love is, if you had a choice of saving your child or yourself or your husband what choice would you make? I'm guessing you'd save yourself.

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sportyster

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October 31, 2007, 8:25 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: jelebean1

Are you saying it is more the woman's responsibility to provide and take care of the child?

Sadly that is the thought process of many many men and that is why there are so many dead beat dads out there. I don't for one moment condone Maria nor any other women that would use their child as a bargaining chip but lets realize one thing here. North Americans can thank all the dead beat dads out there for all the harsh and strict rules in place for the men that are stand up dads. The courts want to make dead beats pay and in the process good men get punished right along with them.

Advice to men, instead of being bitter if you seperate from your child's mother, make reasonable payment arrangements with the mothers instead of waiting for them to hit the courts first. Advice to women out there, don't be bitter if you and your man seperate and develope a "make him pay" mentality. Accept any reasonable payment arrangements before considering running to the courts. This type of cooperation would benefit the ones that count most and that is the child.

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sportyster

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October 31, 2007, 9:01 pm PDT

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: not_sure

I think this is where you're confused...Salina isn't Enriqe's daughter. He didn't create this mess nor should he be responsible for fixing it. You've made several statements that Enrique shouldn't have abondoned his child, that he needs to consider his daughters feelings, etc...Did I mention? Salina isn't his daughter. He owes her nothing. All of Salina's pain and suffering was at the hands of her mother, yes mother. By the way, where is Salina's real dad anyway?

I here what you're saying, Enrique is the only dad Salina ever knew. Shame on you, Maria for creating this lie in your home. Shame on you, Maria for deceiving your daughter and husband. Shame on you Maria for letting your daughter call another man "Dad" without his knowledge/consent. Shame on you Maria, for sleeping with another man (or men for all we know) while you're married. Shame on you, Maria for bringing this heartache into your daughters life.

Please take note that I'm calling Salina "Maria's" daughter as she is not the daughter or Enrique.

He absolutely owes Salina somthing, maybe not on a financial or biological level but a compassionate human level. He had no right to crush her life as she knew it because he didn't want to pay or because she was not biologically his. Since when does money come before a child's well being? Since when does an ADULT's emotion mean more than a child's? Most decent people wouldn't go to a strange child in the park and hurt them emotionally and this man raised her as his daughter and it doesn't matter if he knew or didn't know, he had no right to treat her less than someone would treat a stray dog.

Maria absolutely started this mess but this man is responsible for how HE dealt with Selina, daughter or no daughter.

As for you Mia, I don't buy for one second that this all come about for truth and justice. You've contradicted yourself with your own posts when you stated that if you and Enrique should have children of your own that him paying for one that wasn't biologically his would take away from them. Sad fact is that you don't even have biological children together. Enrique stated on the show that he allows you to lead him by the nose so you should have lead his nose to Maria first before EVER allowing him to throw Selina to the curb.

This could have been handled diferently by all parties involved, not one person is innocent here except for the girls.

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sportyster

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November 4, 2007, 4:20 pm PST

10/29 Parent Trap

Quote From: kimberlykee

Far as I'm concerned, he didn't deserve to "get" anything - but if that's what you wish, your wish came true. He has lost a child that he loved and raised - all because of an emotionally brutal lie told by the child's mother.

Is that good enough for you? Or do you wish to inflict even more "karma" on the guy???

He CHOSE to end the relationship with his "daughter". No one inflicted that upon him, he made a conscious decision to act rashly on emotion. This man isn't uneducated, he's in the medical profession and for him to pretend that he did not know what kind of devastation he would bring to Selina is ridiculous and unfair to the most innocent victim here and that is the child.

As an adult he could have easily confronted the mother first but instead he went to the child and no one is to blame for that but himself. I think most people here do not agree that he should have been lied to nor have to pay support for a child that isn't his. It was how he dealt with what he knew that I and many other posters seem to have trouble with. Maria is responsible for the lies and the hurt she caused but Enrique is just as responsible for the hurt HE inflicted on Selina.

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sportyster

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January 21, 2008, 2:59 pm PST

01/21 Real Life Gossip Girls

Quote From: khrisabela

The reason why I say yes to cell phones is because I was living in NY for 9\11. Even though my daughter was to little for one then I was devasted that I couldn't get in touch with her. Now that I live in VA my daughter has had several bomb threats in middle school and now in high school. The school never tells you anything and you are worried about your child. How do you wait to hear from your child until they get home or some one lets them use a phone to call you. Yes they are bother for alot of reasons but in case of an emergency they really do need them.

Could you not have contacted the school itself to check in on your child? A problem faced with 9/11 was the over use from the public on cell phones tying up the airwaves. This make it harder to contact police, fire and medical personal. There is now a worry that in the future if there are any other types of disasters there will be another tie up from people using cell phones to make calls. Think about this type of thing when trying to justify giving a juvinile a cell phone, someone could be in dire need of medical attention and could die before being able to reach 911 because you need to call your child to see if they are ok or not.

Schools have phones and means of contact for their students to parents. Another option is, buy a phone where the child can call only you, most cell phone companies make these types of phones and you also don't need to worry about your kid making uneccessary calls and wracking up charges. If you truly believe your child needs a cell phone for emergencies then these are the best types of phones to have. Otherwise, as I type schools are having immense troubles with students carrying cell phones to school, texting in class etc and ignoring the cell phone ban policies they may have.

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sportyster

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January 21, 2008, 3:11 pm PST

01/21 Real Life Gossip Girls

Quote From: twgarrett

I was amazed when I watched Dr. Phil today. I can't believe all of the negative outcomes that Facebook (and other social networking sites) have caused.

To everyone (especially parents) viewing this message - please read this article recently posted about Facebook. It discusses the wide range of problems that have happened due to the site.

http://www.thetechbrief.com/2008/01/16/top-10-lives-businesses-and-reputations-ruined-due-to-facebook/

Placing the blame on the website rather than the idividuals that use them irresponsibly is a "pass the buck " mentality. Facebook can be a great site to keep in contact with friends and family for those that use it responsibly. Facebook, My Space, Youtube do not create these types of people, they do not condone or invite these types of people to use their sites as tools to hurt other people, it is those that use them irresponsibly that abuse and the majority of users of these sites do use them as they are intended.

Generally when people have issues they'll have them regardless of the medium used and if there wasn't any Facebook or My Space they'd find some other avenue. Just like the old saying " Guns don't kill people, people kill people", Facebook or My Space doesn't ruin lives, people ruin lives, their own or someone elses.

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sportyster

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January 21, 2008, 3:19 pm PST

01/21 Real Life Gossip Girls

Quote From: twgarrett

I was amazed when I watched Dr. Phil today. I can't believe all of the negative outcomes that Facebook (and other social networking sites) have caused.

To everyone (especially parents) viewing this message - please read this article recently posted about Facebook. It discusses the wide range of problems that have happened due to the site.

http://www.thetechbrief.com/2008/01/16/top-10-lives-businesses-and-reputations-ruined-due-to-facebook/

Blaming this Facebook or any other networking website for causing problems with people is a "pass the buck" mentality. These sites are great sites to keep in contact with family and friends when used as they were intended. For those that use these sites irresposibly will be irresponsible regardless of the medium that they use. If the two young girls on the show didn't have My Space to harrass and make threats to the other girl they probably would have found another way to do it.

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