Quote From: terrbinWhat the mom did was wrong, obviously (and I wish that there was a punishment we could dole out to women who do this that wouldn't hurt their children). Enrique was deceived, also obvious... What doesn't seem to be so obvious to many here is that the child DOES belong to Enrique. What I mean by this is that biology doesn't play a role in the relationship/feeling between parent and child, NOR SHOULD IT. If I learned today that my child was not mine (whether through deception or a hospital error) it wouldn't change my love for my child, nor my desire to continue providing the best I can financially. Money IS important in that it sends a message (a strong one) to the child about whether you treasure them or your money more. I would want my child to know that regardless of whose they were biologically, that I would and will always consider them MINE. And I'd make sure to reinforce this by providing for them financially! I wouldn't allow for any question at all to permeate my kid's thoughts about where my loyalties are!
Enrique got screwed, but that in no way changes (or rather, shouldn't have changed) the fact that he has been her father! Where are his feelings for her???? (His daughter is very bright to have heard his sudden and renewed interest in her with skepticism!) How could he have treated someone he raised from infancy, and supposedly loved, that way???? I wouldn't wish that kind of treatment on my worst enemy. The feelings of abandonment this poor girl must feel, I can't imagine. She may not realize this now, but I have no doubt that those feelings of abandonment and mistrust will affect her future relationships because they will affect how she feels about herself. I pray she gets the help she needs as she grows to realize exactly what Dr. Phil said -- that she is worthy of love regardless of what that pseudo-father did to her.
Frankly, I don't know how some people here can justify anything but a continuation of a fatherly relationship, and that includes a FINANCIAL one. NOT because this is "fair" to him, but because (more importantly) it is what is "fair" and right for HIS DAUGHTER. And again, he should want to. If I were him, I wouldn't care about seeking out the biological father so as to pay for my kid's expenses. I would want nothing to do with him in fact, so as not to ruin the stability I would hope to continue to provide, (until my child wanted to seek him out, that is. It's only natural that kids want to know who they biologically came from at some point in their lives). My kid is mine. Period. I WOULDN"T ALLOW ANYTHING TO CHANGE THAT. THAT"S WHAT UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS SUPPOSED TO BE, ENRIQUE...
Finally, I imagine that several conditions must have existed for Enrique to be so cruel to the daughter he raised for ten years: 1) that he didn't really love her and 2) that he hated his wife so much for deceiving him that he preferred torturing his daughter in this way so as to punish the mother, (rather than seeing his daughter as the gift she is). Bottom line is that I would likely have divorced my wife and FOUGHT to keep my daughter(s)! As for the poor daughter, I can't believe that now that she has another loving father in her life, Enrique decides that he wants and misses her.... REALLY?!? I t took you YEARS to realize this, Enrique?!? What a prince you are... You took the only father she had away from her (you), and now you don't want to give her a decent chance at a life with another man who DOES want to be her father and sees her as the blessing she is. Something YOU couldn't do. You've proven yourself completely unworthy of her. Your "judgement" isn't the only thing that is bad.... YOU are!
YOU MISS THE POINT OF THE DISCOURSE. WE ARE TALKING ABOUT COURT ORDER CHILD SUPPORT .DOES THE GOVERNMENT HAVE THE RIGHT TO FORCE THIS MAN UNDER PENALTY OF INCARCERATION TO PAY CHILD SUPPORT FOR A CHILD THAT IS NOT BIOLOGICAL HIS AN D OF WHICH HE WAS FRAUDGENTLY DECEIVED INTO BELIEVING IT WAS.
I AM SURE HE WILL MAKE AMENDS WITH HIS DAUGHTER IN THE FUTHER WHEN SHE IS OLD ENOUGH TO UNDERSTAND THAT GROWN UPS ASLO FEEL PAIN AND SOMETIMES MAKE FOOLISH AND CAPRICIOUS DECISIONS.
