Messages By: nocgirl

Women have the right to ask for DNA to prove who fathered the child so why can't a man request the same procedure?  No one should be expected to pay child support for a child that is not theirs.  I also think the mother should be held legally responsible if she knows the child is not her husbands/boyfriends and lies to the courts about it.  It is about time that the rights of the mother and father be equal and that we throw out this anitquated theory favoring women in divorce.  I feel sorry for the child who finds out that his father really isn't his father and that his mother has been lying to him/her.  People do not realize the damage they do to children with their selfish acts.  If we insist that the man pay child support for a child that is not his we are giving the real father a free pass on his responsibilities and telling the mother what she did was acceptable. 

When the show first began I took the fathers side, just by viewing his demeanor. I thought the mother looked like a woman with secrets up her sleeve. But, as the show progressed I found myself torn between different sides. For one thing, I am surprised no one gave the mother any credit or took her side. I don't mean her side as in the lying part but on the show she was very well put together. She never called names, she never accused, she never defended her actions. She always agreed when the audience booed her and Dr. Phil called her out. I think she really was there on the show for the daughter. As an adoptee myself, I whole heartedly believe that when you raise a child it is YOUR responsibility.

Now, the guest speaker, I forget his name but he was the man who said he had payed child support for eleven years when he was not the father. Why did no one think to call him out on the fact that he never bothered to get a DNA test when an ex girlfriend just called him up one day. That is pretty irresponsible if you ask me and he seemed to be a man that cared more about triumphing over accusing women than getting something serious done. In the case with the parents at hand they had been married at the time and I can understand why no DNA test was done.

The mother was completely at fault. No question about that. However, raising a child as your own for 10 years even when you were duped should be enough to have to pay child support. You were part of a unit, a family and all expenses were shared. Should the mother have to go to court for a lie? It is possible. But, as Gloria Allred said the child comes first. It is all about the child. Feminists get off your cushion about being treated fairly and men bring down your egos about who you may or may not have knocked up.

My husband and I are supporting another man's child because in the State of California if a child was born during a marriage then that child is considered a child of the marriage.  We did not find out this until the little girl was 10 years old when her mother decided she should (without consulting my husband) tell this little girl that the person she thought was her father really is not...........  My husband is a wonderful man and continues to love this little girl as much as he ever has..... my question is why should we have to pay $1300.00 a month to support another man's child?  DNA testing can get you off a murder charge but not out of supporting a child that is not yours.  Where is the justice in that?  People say the child should come first and I agree, the mother should find the "real father" and force him to pay support as well as her supporting the child herself.........

My husband's ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend at the time my husbands child was born was given another mans name and the boyfriends name was put on the birth certificate.  The boyfriend knew that the child was not his but wanted to raise him as his own.  My husband just assumed that the child was not his when he found out about the boyfriend and the fact that the child was given this mans name.  My husband had a DNA 15 years later and found out that he is the biological father.  Now we are trying to get my husband named as the legal father and get the boyfriend out of the picture. 

The problem is that since the boyfriend signed the birth certificate he more less adopted the child.  We have to get him to sign his rights away.

The mom is now going after my husband for 15 years of back child support.  We are fighting this in court as my husband was never given the chance to be the childs father.  She gave that to another man whom got to spend the first years of the childs life with him. 

This is a sad situation for my husband as well as the child.  This was a very poor decision of the mothers and now my husband and the child are having to deal with it.

I am happy to say we are trying to get all of this untangled through the courts and my husband and the child are working on getting a relationship going.  The unfortunate thing is that the mother does not seem to want the child to have a relationship with his dad.  Seems that she is only interested in the support.  My husband wants to provide for this child and will. 

For you men out there, Can you imagine raising a child with another mans name and your grandchildren even having a diffrent name than yours?  I am a women and I can't imagine it.

I just dont understand some women!