Messages By: cschin

  The husband is obviously in a constant state of anger.  He needs to look into himself with therapy and see why.  Hopefully, he will see that this is not working and making his life and his family's life miserable.  Until that time, his wife also needs to work on herself and why she has lived this way for so long.  She should consider leaving for a period of time to get some space for her and her kids.

  I do think that Reynir could be helped if he is finally at the place where he is sick and tired of feeling angry all the time.  He really needs to spend time talking to a therapist himself.  He may have underlying depression or other issues and need treatment with antidepressants or other medication.  And, the world around us seems angry all the time as well so it is not difficult to allow this to creep into our own lives.   However, his wife should leave and work on herself as well.  People will spend years and years of their lives in misery rather than spend a few bucks to go talk to a therapist.  We have no problems dropping hundreds of dollars on electronics, eating out, etc but many people balk at spending on something that could significantly improve their lives.

  I also think Tammy needs to stop talking to her sister about her marital problems.  She needs to take a step back from this and quit using her sister as her personal therapist. 

    I hope the first 2 women watch the show and see how ridiculous they sound.  My kids don't even act like that!  It is embarrassing to admit to being a female when you see 2 grown women act that way.  Ladies, you can't control someone else,  the only person you can control is you.  To wish someone dead is pretty sad.  Isn't that the mother of her brother's child! 

  Anyway, the way to deal with pettiness is not to deal with it.  Just say "oh well" and walk away.

  As for the second family, the son has an anger problem.  He is angry at the world.  I was kind of surprised the mom didn't just jump up and hug him at the end of the show.  I do think that family has hope if they work together.

  I am still pretty unclear as who to believe.  I can see where something like this could be made up and get out of control.  However, she did cross some lines.  Teachers today cannot befriend their students.  They should NEVER invite students to their home, call them, send them letters or drive them anywhere in their car.   All of you who are going into teaching need to wake up and realize times have changed.  You cannot and should not be friends with your students.

  I also wonder why she didn't take a polygraph as well and why Dr. Phil did not even bring this up.  If she had taken one and passed and the young man didn't pass then I would be think it is a slam dunk.

  If she is innocent, this is a great travesty for her to completely lose her career, go into debt, etc.  And, I also wonder why she is still living in that same town and sending her kids to that school district and her husband works there!  I mean, you would think she would move for the sake of her family's sanity and peace of mind.

  Dr. Phil, please let us hear the results of any lie detector tests SHE took as well.  And, I do think he should have admonished Matt to come forth if he was lying by pointing out that things may have spiraled out of his control but now was the time to own up to a lie and quit destroying someone else's life if he was indeed lying.  

  I don't believe you can tell who is lying or telling the truth based on their affect, mannerisms or emotion.  And, I do not think Dr. Phil should have made that comment regarding her affect.  She has been dealing with this for years and sometimes you do not "show the emotion" like others think you "should".

  After my dad died, I cried nonstop for an entire week.  However, I have not cried since then.  So, should I break down in public every time I mention him?  Some of us are just not built that way.  So, saying how someone should be responding years later doesn't seem fair to me.

   I do think passing notes was foolish and stupid on her part.  But, if the kids were all passing a bunch of these notes to one another, it is not so farfetched to think the teacher would pick up a piece of paper and write a few little coded notes as well.  I am not saying this is the right thing to do but she was a young, inexperienced teacher at the time.  What if every comment you ever said was taped and came to light?  I am sure we have all blurted out the wrong things or done things that just don't sound right.

  But, the notes also do give an air of credibility to the boy's story.  They should have both taken the lie detector test.  It would have shed much more light on the whole thing.

  As for her mannerisms or his mannerisms, I think all of you are way off base.  You cannot "tell" who is lying or telling the truth based on how often one looked the other "in the eye" or other such nonsense.  You are personalizing this into how YOU would react and that is not fair and in no way predicts who is telling the truth.  And, none of you were there looking at them.  You are watching a TV show with all its assorted camera angles and so forth.  

  And, I find it very scary to be judged on how I did or didn't react.  They should be judged on what is true, not how many times someone cried, reacted, etc.  And, our "standard" of how someone should react continually changes with the wind.  If she had been up there crying, shouting or carrying on, she would be accused of crying crocidile tears or putting on an act.   After years of discussing this and dealing with lawyers, I don't think her reactions were innappropriate at all.

  At this point, since she has not been convicted, she needs to save herself and her family.  Going through this battle day after day is idiotic.  Pack up and move.  What is done is done.  If she is innocent , she should still continue the fight in the courts to clear her name.  But, why raise your children in an environment of so much hostility, suspicion, etc.  Get your family out of Town ASAP.  If the husband wants to continue teaching there, so be it.  But, move so the children can go to another school district or put them in private school. 

 

  They all need to grow up.  Why is MIL and DIL text messaging and even communicating with one another?  As usual, the son sits by like a bump on the log.  Does he not have any courage whatsoever?

  But, I do have to wonder when the whole family wants to stay away from DIL.  She will be sorry in the end for acting the jerk as will his mother. 

  I am surprised Dr. Phil didn't bring this up either.  Maybe he didn't because it was already a done deal and he was focusing on what to do next.

  But, for mom to allow her to continue to talk to this man via cellphone for 2 years is absolutely insane.  Why didn't she throw away the cell phone?  I wouldn't even have a cell phone at all.  The home internet should also have been disconnected.

  This still may not have stopped her as she could have used friends' phones or computers, but it surely would have made it even more difficult.   

  I hope Dr. Phil can help them because these are 2 of the SICKEST people I have ever seen in my life.  He is severely emotionally disturbed and she needs to get far, far away from him ASAP.  She should not go home or to the same town but be relocated, go live with a relative or something.  He should be assumed to be a murderer and rapist until these incidents are fully investigated.  And, even if found to be false.  He is setting up the scenario in his mind and is going to rape and murder when the opportunity arises.

  His wife is sick, sick, sick herself.  So sick that she cannot see how damaging this relationship is to her and her children.  THink of those 4 boys!  He is grooming them to be rapists and murderers.  This man has absolutely no conscience or emapthy whatsoever and is a dangerous sociopath.  She should have run away a long time ago for the sake of her kids.

  And, I don't understand how she can even look at this man and think she loves him.  He is the coldest, most calculating person I have ever seen on Dr. Phil.  He has no emotional attachment to her whatsoever.  To continue to live with him and go to bed with him is sick!

   I am so dumbfounded I don't know what to say.  She needs years and years of help to have any chance of a normal life.  He needs to be taken to jail and held until these crimes are investigated.