Quote From: gooseylucyThere is a great deal of anger in the dynamics of the proposed wedding of Jay and Michelle - for now, the wedding should be cancelled and the couple should attempt a six month hiatus without contact or communication. A lifetime is a long time and the six month trade a small price to pay for "forever after".
It occurs to me that the people in this scenario are in states of arrested development - they do not have the skills to negogiate a settlement in this matter, and choose to look only at vindictive options; a common trait for children under the age of twelve.
Were I the prospective mother-in-law in this situation, I would be devastated to learn that my son would allow this treatment of me. Further, I would be heartbroken to consider that he would spend the rest of his life with such a shallow and apparently vindictive person. I would grieve for the happiness of knowing and loving grandchildren, because I would realize that the ripple effect of this mindset would contanimate everything, and there would be nothing I could do to alleviate it.
Were I the prospective bride, I might be thrilled to think I would have that kind of power over my fiancee; however, given the blessing of insight, I might be terrified to learn that my husband would be such a spineless jellyfish - might he forsake me in the same manner in the future? Or worse yet, might he forsake our children when the going gets tough?
Were I the prospective groom, I might be thinking that I am doing the right thing for the time being, but at the same time I might be repelled at the selfishness of the woman I plan to marry. I might wonder at her narcissism, and how it would effect our life together and the lives of our children. I might be thinking for the present that I can "fix" the in-law problem at a later date (after all, hasn't Mom always backed my plate?), but I really need someone to tell me that I can never unring the bell; that even if it resolves in some manner in the future, I would have failed everyone concerned, even the unborn.
When the going gets tough, the tough get going - the sissies flunk out! Sadly, often they (the sissies) don't have the maturity to recognize their failures or even consider them. There is no reality but their own, nothing important but themselves. Ultimately, they wind up alone.
I agree with the quote I just read above so I won't take up alot of time with repeating what was just written. It is sad that Jay is not standing up to his fiancee and demanding respect for his mother, its called getting a BACKBONE. MIchelle is a very SPOILED BRAT! Thank god I don't have daughter in-laws like that. My son's (3) have a back bone and stand up for what they believe in and WILL NOT stand for anyone to trash their family especially their parents. I doubt this mother of Jay's has been all that bad until she was banned from the wedding and what mother wouldn't be upset. Granted I don't think there EVER is a time when an adult should use these foul languages and call people these horrible names. I don't think very much of Jane for that at all and it is inexcuseable. Obviously it has HURT everyone alot except Michelle and she is such a DRAMA queen that she is not at all thinking she is at fault. She evidentally has been sheltered and coddled all her life. She is pretty on the outside so it has gotten her what she has wanted through life but not anything very respectable. I believe MIchelle and Jay should go through ALOT of counseling and get a better attitude about people around them and life in the future. They need to work on the marriage in counseling before they say those precious vows.I don't give this marriage a very good chance if they do go through with it. If it lasts 1-3 yrs. I will be surprised. I am a Sr. citizen, celebrated out 50th wedding anniversary Sept. 28th and have a wonderful family and many wonderful friends and have seen alot in my lifetime and I have never heard anyone I know act like any of these people no matter how bad the situation is. This marrigae SHOULD NOT take place at this time!
