Messages By: ladiehawke

I am a kidney patient. One of my kidneys is dead and the other is well on its way to being dead. Everytime I go into the doc office, I wonder if this is the day that I will be told I have to go on dialysis. That will automaticly would put me on the donor list. I don't know if I could live with a family member holding the spector of a transplant over my head to manipulate my behavior. Now, I don't agree with the younger brothers behavior. But, I wonder if living in the shadow of the older, more successful brother has pushed him to drugs and drink. The younger brother needs therapy to really discover the basis of his self abuse and possible, even, death wish. Why doesn't he feel quite good enough? As to the older brother, if he feels that he will "own" part of his brother, then he darn well should move onto his baseball career and stop holding his kidney over his brother's head. When you give a gift, you give it freely. Once it has left your hands, it is no longer yours and you have no right to have any say as to what is done with that present. You may not like what it is done with it, but that is too bad. If the older brother feels sooo invested in that kidney (which I do understand) that he has to control his brother once he is given the gift, then he is not ready to give the gift freely with a full and loving heart. He needs to go play ball.

Once the younger brother has gotten his act together with counseling etc, then he can look for a donor kidney, look for a living donor or approach his brother again. I suspect that the younger brother has always looked at his life as a process of dying and not living it. His family should have taught him to live. He needs to learn to look at life as open ended, not as something that is dead ended. There is a lot out there for him, he just needs to see it and go for it. Live for today, yes, but also live for and look to next year as well. Let go of the bad stuff and live.

I have to ask why someone expects that another family member is obligated to offer one of their body parts to their sybling or parent? Especially if that family member is married and has children. The welfare of his blood children should always come first and foremost in a parents life.. To hold a grudge against a family member for not offering to be tested to donate is wrong. And I am saying this as someone who will eventually will need a new kidney.

One of the mothers made asnide comment about her daughter always saying she was hungry even though she had just eaten. Well, I have struggled with my weight my whole life. I am here to to you that the little girl isn't lying. You can eat a good meal and be hungry again within a very short time. And when I say hungry, I mean really hungry. I did a Google search and found that many people have the same phenomonom. I could find no explanation for it, but it is real and it is not the girl's imagination or my imagination. In fact, I just ate. I should be sated. I ate enough. Yet, I am hungry again. The mystery of obesity will not be solved until there is a true apetite supressant fpimd for people who have to deal with being hungry all the time.

Dr. Phil hung Jeanne out to dry in his show today. He allowed her sisters to abuse her emotionally in such a heinous way today that it made me sick. Jeanne was a child and she did what she had to do to survive. If she didn't do as her father groomed her to do, she would have never survived to make it to this show. Dr. Phil should have been explaining the dynamics of abuse in a family and how it flows downhill. What you aren't hearing in this show so far is that each one of those girls most likely abused the next youngest under them. That is the way abuse works in a family and it is why abuse moves through generations. These girls are blaming Jeanne because they can't get close enough to dad to blast him the way that they are publicly blasting Jeanne on this show. They speak of Jeanne humiliating them, what is their real reason for feeling the need to publicly humiliate Jeanne today? They aren't looking for a way to forgive Jeanne, they are looking for public revenge. Jeanne had no choices. She was a child who had no where to turn. The criminal in this family is Dad and Mom who created the circus of abuse. These sisters need to get some therapy and grow up and understand that Jeanne may have been the only person standing between them and possible death. I do feel sorry for these girls, but there comes a time when you are an adult, you take care of business and place blame where it belongs. My true sympathies go to Jeanne in this family.