Messages By: pokie5

   Lady, I am soooo proud of you and what you did! That is an incredible story and I love the fact that you had finally had enough! As I mentioned before, we women can always lose the weight but men, with their shortcomings, don't really have any choice. The parting shot was perfect and I wish that I could have been there. Way to go!

   Another point that I would like to stress here. When a woman, or anyone for that matter is under huge amounts of stress it causes too much "cortisol" to flood the system and helps you to gain weight or prevents you from losing it in the first place. There are so many factors that contribute to weight such as, lack of restorative sleep, stress, hormones, and for women, it's natural that we have more fat cells than men because of our biology to reproduce, and that is just to name a few.

   To the men out there with a problem with your life mates weight! The day that you are able to give birth, and actually be "willing" to go through with it? We will look exactly like the trophy wives that you want so badly. Is that a deal? Whatever happened to the unconditional love that you signed on for in the first place? Maybe you think marriage vows should have an extra clause in there concerning any change in our appearance or our health issues.

   It's funny, a man can look like Porky Pig and and have a multitude of faults, but somehow that seems to be OK in their book, talk about double standards!

When I am afraid, I find that memorizing quotes like the ones below and saying them like a mantra helps me through a fearful situation. Bible quotes are especially helpful because they stir faith in me, and help me realize that I am not alone.  Bible verses can be claimed, and made your own. You have a right to pray to God, and let him know that you are believing in him to fulfil any promise made in the bible, I find Psalm 91 very powerful, and reassuring, and read it whenever I feel uncertain.

Frank Herbert's quote on the subject is also sound though, and full of wisdom. Using this method of dealing with fear helps me a lot.

I must not fear.

Fear is the mind killer

Fear is the little death that brings about total obliteration.

I will face my fear.

I will permit it to pass over me and through me.

And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see it's path.

Where the fear has gone there will be nothing.

Only I will remain.

Frank Herbert, Dune Page 19

I find this little verse to be very helpful, because it is so short, and easy to remember no matter how afraid I am.

For God hath not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, love and a sound mind.

2nd Timothy, 1:7

From this we see that fear isn't a god given reaction, it is a temptation, and there is a choice to accept this gift of power, love and sound mind instead of fear.

Overall fear is the opposite of faith and trust. Fear is best fought with faith, and LOVE. "Perfect Love casts out all fear." Fear is the key negative emotion, which leads to every other negative emotion. Banishing fear is the biggest step towards a happy life, and it is an everyday struggle for everyone. Not everyone is afraid of the same things, but everyone struggles with some fears, either rational or irrational. This fear is the root cause of most of mankind's problems, Our worst behaviors are brought on by fear, and our best reaction is always to base our behavior and our feelings in love and faith. If you believe good things will happen to you, then usually that is exactly what happens, but if you are afraid something bad will happen, you defeat yourself before you even start.

We all wrestle with fear at times, and most of us have hidden fears as well as conscious ones. We lie to ourselves sometimes and don't admit our real fears, and then this symbolic representation phobia stuff comes out instead. In symbolism for example someone who is afraid of cats has problems with femininity, and spirituality, Spiders represent knowledge of something we don't want to know. They are symbols of the things we glance at in our minds and look away before seeing clearly. We all have those thoughts that we dismiss quickly because we cannot bare to examine them. Yet examine them we must. Inversely it may be the feeling of motion that stirs driving and flying fears... it could simply be a fear of movement... or progressing forward. I think this woman should ask what she fears. If I had ot guess, I'd say she fears getting old, or her daugthers growing up and abandoning her. She also fears some specific  task, responsibility or occurance, which she subconsciousy forsees and wants to duck out of, but she doesn't see it consciously. It isn't that her conscious mind is deliberately faking these phobias, it is that she can't deal with what she is honestly afraid of, and instead projects her fears onto less logical things, which anyone can dismiss as rediculous. In short I think she fears the passage of time, and the uncertainty of the future... possibly having to rely on her self once her support system is gone. Now that is a RATIONAL reasonable thing to be afraid of, but once she faces the real issue, it will no longer be that booggie man in the closet. IT will be something she can pull out and learn to deal with.

Kim

Thank you again for your help.    You are all great as I am sure you are currently overwhelmed with work.     We appreciate you.

Hugs,

Shirley