Messages By: jeskiddin

Quote From: jsfamily

OH MY GOD!!! I just watched the show and I'm in total shock of how horrible that mother-in-law is! I felt my blood pressure rising and my face turning red EACH TIME she INTERRUPTED the bride, her son, even Dr. Phil! She has no respect for any of them. I would not want her at my wedding either!  Hooray to the groom/son for standing up to his mother and defending his future wife. He shows respect, maturity, and honor... all things that his mother is lacking. I'm impressed by his dedication to his future wife and I'm impressed with the bride's courage to stand up and not just sit back and "take it" or put up with the mother-in-law!

I'm 40+years old, and have been married to the same man for 15 years. I can honestly say that I have felt what that bride is feeling and I have been in her shoes!!! My mother-in-law (who also had a very intrusive, unhealthy role in her "baby boy's" life) treated me horribly both in private and in public, at holiday gatherings, etc... I used to leave holiday gatherings before dinner, cry, feel awful and get very upset with her for how she treated me. I NEVER HAD THE NERVE to stand up to her, nor did my husband, so I let it boil and fester for years and eat away at me! She actually pointed her finger in my face and said, "don't you mess with me or I'll make your life with my son a living hell"!!!! Well, she had already been doing that for years! Anyway, the anger I let build up inside of me was not healthy or productive. (It surfaced up a few years ago when she was visiting, and all I can say is that it was complete insanity... like a Jerry Springer show!) I should have never allowed myself to be treated like that by another human being; I was young then... now I know better. Unfortunately, my husband did not have the guts to stand up to his mother and defend me, which created bitterness between the two of us. THE ONLY REASON our marriage probably survived through it all is b/c my mother-in-law moved far away (out of state) many years ago and could not continue to be such a negative, intrusive part of our marriage! I wish my husband had stood up to her long ago and saved us both a lot of pain and anger.

Kudos to Dr. Phil for being able to sit there and maintain his composure while being constantly interrupted by a self-absorbed, immature, insulting, demented woman!

P.S. Oh, by the way, WE ELOPED for our wedding!!! (Any guess as to why???)

Quote From: psych12002

Respect is a privilege not a right!

Quote From: laleana

Do not go to that wedding Mom ! Someday your son will regret ever having gave u the cold shoulder!!!

And he will need your shoulder to cry on someday ! When she turns on him.!! She is SO good at getting her way it makes me SICK !!! Dr. Phil was Very Disapointing today because him did not even understand the hurt this LITTLE GIRL was causing!! Oh Well !!  Stand your ground and someay you will be redeemed!!

But  do not give in to that LITTLE GIRL !!!!!! Because there may be children!! All our love to you Mom!!

Reply Mom ?

Quote From: isabeaur

If you say your son IS your life, then you have a serious problem.  It is not your son's responsibility to be your life - how dare you lay such a burden on him.   He has his own life to live - if he is an adult, it is YOUR RESPONSIBILITY to let him go.  It is perfectly right and natural for you to be less of a priority in his life as he grows up, moves away, marries and starts his own family.   Taking a back seat isn't the same thing as being shut out, but too many MILs end up being pushed away due to their own controlling, manipulative behaviour.  They insist on being front and center, always right, always in the way, manipulating with guilt and don't let their sons' live their own lives as independent adults.  If you want an honored place in your son's life, then back off, be supportive, and shut your pie hole.

 

And by the way, I have great relationships with both my MIL and my own mother.  They have lives of their own, hobbies and activities and friends, and don't sit around waiting for us to provide substance and meaning in their lives.  We see them frequently, and when we see each other we enjoy each others' company.   It's called having an adult relationship.  More people need to try it.

Quote From: fallridge

Just a short time ago, I watch dr. phil get onto a woman for not having a big enough reaction when facing an accuser. The woman today was facing a future daughter-in-law that refused to let her come to the wedding, ended her relationship with her son, and verbalized intentions to prevent relationships with future grandchildren. Needless to say, she was upset. How was she supposed to react?  Did anyone hear why she was uninvited to the wedding? I didn't. All I heard was a lot of this and that about emotions flying high after the damage was done.  What did she do to deserve to be put in that situation.  The timeline does matter Dr Phil.  For me to not allow my own mother to come to my wedding, she would have had to do something so horrible that forgiveness was impossible. I can't even think of an example of what that would be, but todays show did not even come close to justifying what the bride to be had done. Yet, the mother was on the defense the entire show for the way that she reacted to being barred from the wedding.

Show me a follow up show that only focuses on how traumatized the bride-to-be had to be to do what she did. Show me how horrible of a mother that woman must be that her son has basically disowned her. That show doesn't exist. If it did we would have seen it today. Today's show made for good TV, but the wrong person was on trial. I want dr phil to watch this show 5 times. Then tell us who the questions should have been directed to. Ask himself what other questions he could have asked. Why did only one person have to answer for her actions? Why would the timeline not matter. Why was he not objective.

 

This is my first post in reaction to a show. Now I don't doubt that some of the viewers side with the fiance and don't understand how someone could get so worked up about a show. I ask those people to look at the situation that the mother was placed in. No matter what her reaction was..............Did her son and future daughter-in-law present any specific, general, or obvious reason for disowning her??????

Quote From: fallridge

Just a short time ago, I watch dr. phil get onto a woman for not having a big enough reaction when facing an accuser. The woman today was facing a future daughter-in-law that refused to let her come to the wedding, ended her relationship with her son, and verbalized intentions to prevent relationships with future grandchildren. Needless to say, she was upset. How was she supposed to react?  Did anyone hear why she was uninvited to the wedding? I didn't. All I heard was a lot of this and that about emotions flying high after the damage was done.  What did she do to deserve to be put in that situation.  The timeline does matter Dr Phil.  For me to not allow my own mother to come to my wedding, she would have had to do something so horrible that forgiveness was impossible. I can't even think of an example of what that would be, but todays show did not even come close to justifying what the bride to be had done. Yet, the mother was on the defense the entire show for the way that she reacted to being barred from the wedding.

Show me a follow up show that only focuses on how traumatized the bride-to-be had to be to do what she did. Show me how horrible of a mother that woman must be that her son has basically disowned her. That show doesn't exist. If it did we would have seen it today. Today's show made for good TV, but the wrong person was on trial. I want dr phil to watch this show 5 times. Then tell us who the questions should have been directed to. Ask himself what other questions he could have asked. Why did only one person have to answer for her actions? Why would the timeline not matter. Why was he not objective.

 

This is my first post in reaction to a show. Now I don't doubt that some of the viewers side with the fiance and don't understand how someone could get so worked up about a show. I ask those people to look at the situation that the mother was placed in. No matter what her reaction was..............Did her son and future daughter-in-law present any specific, general, or obvious reason for disowning her??????

Quote From: jsfamily

You seem to have completely forgotten that the "adult" in this situation, the mother-in-law, said ignorant, selfish, rude things too. SHE (THE MOTHER-IN-LAW) BROUGHT IT ALL ON HERSELF!!!

Quote From: wow1960

Donna,

 

Im really sorry that you do not have any family. Ill will be more glad to share mine with you.  ITs easy for you to sit back and say the things that you have said because obviously you havent had the experiences that some of us have had with our familes.  Just because these "people" are our family doesnt mean we have to have a relationship with them.  For example: I have a sister that is 55 years old and stole my mothers identity.  Yes,  it is called Identity Theft.  She shows no remorse for what she did. Now, because of this, I do not choose to have a realationship with her.  You cant trust these kind of people.  I have given her family money in time of need, and she has chosen to lie and steal and I do not feel like I will ever have a relationship with her ever again. So, until you have been in such a situation then I think you need to think again about wanting family.  Sometimes its more heartache  than its worth.