Messages By: tracy1242

Child support is very expensive.  My brother cannot afford a place like he used to have, but his wife can because of the child support.  She keeps the kids, gets a nice place to live while he pays off all their debt and lives in a one bedroom apartment paying child support.  The court doesn't even care if he can afford it. 

Man all you folks that say you can just leave it alone, you can't.  Do the math, that's a lot of child support money.  If you invest that amount monthly you will retire nicely.  Instead Maria is probably eating that amount in fast food or take out each month at Enrique's expense.

Just because a person gets child support doesn' t mean they need it or that they use it for the kids.  She has a new man, he can help her with her bills, so she will have more money now for her household,  Maria is just being greedy. 

She needs to go see the man she screwed 13 years ago so he can see how sexy she is now and also let him know he made a baby and  he needs to start paying for it.  This other man might have wanted to have a relationship with the daughter he created, but again Maria took that into her own hands.  I am sure the sperm donor will be shocked and sad too when he finds out.

The black man was the smartest one on the show.  He was a breath of fresh air and did a better job than even Dr. Phil himself in my opinion. 

I think this black guy should start a movement, if he hasn't already.  I'm going to find his name and look him up to see what he has started doing.  I am sick of real fathers getting screwed over, it just shows how far the courts will go to give women all they want when they stick men with child support for a child they didn't create.  Courts awarding fraud perps by making fraud victims continue to pay.

That's the same things as saying that I should have noticed my identity being stolen sooner, so therefore I should pay.  A crook is a crook and fraud is fraud.  A crime is a crime and should be punished not rewarded.

Gloria Alred is a fraud and she had no valid points, she changed the subject when she was losing agains the black guy.  Any lawyer that would promote fraud is a loser in my book I don't want to read her book now that she has been exposed as a fraud perpertrator.  She made herself look like a total a$$ and she tried to defend it by saying it was in the best interest of the child.  Plllllleeeeaaaazzzzeee!!!!

Humble beginings never hurt anyone and it looks like Maria's kids are getting plenty of food on the table, are well dressed and had a nice home to live in.  Come on!!!  Just because Maria didn't want to identify the loser she concieved with Enrique should pay?  No way!  I'd sue her butt for fraud and mental suffering.  I'd use every dollar I had to bring about justice in my case.  I'd want to know Salina still and have a relationship with her if I was dooped into loving her as my own, but that shouldn't mean he has to pay a ransom to see her.

I guess you still have the paternity test?  Go to court and represent yourself.  You can't trust the lawyers anyway.  Go to the university near you that has a law school and find the legal library and find a law student there that can help you find the right cases to bring up as well as state statutes for the state that is garnishing your wages for child support. 

You will have to go to court and read the statute outloud to the judge in order to keep  him honest.  You will have to point out how the previous ruling went against the statute.  That being you aren't even the father, the real father needs to be in court.  There are other statutes, laws, and cases you will need to be able to quote for the judge.  You need to have your paternity test results there as well.  Find the case won by the man on the Dr. Phil show the other day and that should help you find out what he used in court.   

You do not have access to the child, nor are you the father of the child.  It is really a matter of finding an honest judge (hard to do in family courts).  You'll have to do as the black man on the show did and not stop until you win.  I doubt your ex has a lot of money to keep fighting for a fraud she has committed against you.  I'd write every representative in your state and every family court judge and make them aware of your case.  I'd see every good attorney before she knew I was going to sue her and take her into court then she couldn't hire those attorneys.  I'd request that she pay for my attorney fees because she knowingly lied and created the situation where litigation had to continue, costing you money. 

I'd look up the man that was on the show and find out all he did to be successful in his case.  Then I'd do what he did.  I don't know if this guy had a lot of money for lawyers or not, but I have known some men who have won their cases without lawyers to get child support lowered and get visitation.  Your case is different than theirs as you aren't the real father and it sounds like you aren't going to try to have a relationship with the child at this point.  I guess your heart was broken and you have moved on, understandable.

You'll need legal help, it will cost you less if you get a law student to help you set up a good case.  Even a good lawyer would be worth it, do the math!  If you are avoiding child support save some of that cash and go to court and fight that vile woman.

Once I got the payments stopped I sue her for the total plus emotional suffering and make her pay interest and I would press charges of fraud on her.  If the district attorney would not move forward then I would make sure every newspaper and every news outlet in the state got word of it all at the same time. 

Once in a while a lawyer takes a case pro-bono, maybe you can find someone who is passionate about this sort of thing and wants to take the case or help you to represent yourself.

Good luck with your case!!! (disclaimer - I am not a lawyer or legal student, I am just interested in father's rights and those who get stuck with less rights than the average person because they are accused of being a father).

cheers!

Equal Rights?  Is that a new concept?  I doubt that is PC, better not talk about it. LOL  Men have no rights especially once they concieve and apparently if they do not concieve but are accused they will  have no rights either.

God bless the U.S.A. !!!!!!!!!!!  We need a lot of lousy judges off the bench is all I can say.  We need some stiff laws and to overhaul family courts, family law, and divorce laws.  They are all lopsided in favor of the woman and create a climate ripe for abuse. 

I don't see a man in this picture.  The woman is very irresponsible in her behavior.  She shouldn't be yelling and cursing all over the place.  She is very angry and she thinks she can just let off her steam on everyone in front of everyone.

Jennie seems very defensive and not ready to acknowledge how wrong she actually is in all of this.  Perhaps she cannot voice what she really wants and needs to her husband.

I seriously doubt the husband is being supportive and putting his wife's and kids first in his priority list.  She isn't either. They are both wrong. 

The whole dating thing with both of them is very sickening.  Going outside the marriage, well nothing can compete with that.  The grass always looks greener on the other side.

I love how she acts like she is the only one being blamed on the show.  I really got the full picture that the husband is a panty waste who doesn't step up and be a man by leading his family. 

She has a lot of resentment toward him.  He needs to find out why she is so upset with him.  Is it b/c she has to work too much?  Maybe they need to change their situation so that isn't the case. 

If she has an ED then she needs to deal with that and any other disorders she may have.  Rather than hide in bushes and following the wife around he should deal with the problems in their relationship.

If they tried treating each other right for two weeks showing love and respect to each other, I think they would see a glimpse of what they could have. 

I hope it works out because they will destroy their kids together or apart if they don't both grow up now.

Very sad case!

They should stop pointing the finger at each other and start growing up and acting like mature adults do.  They are both responsible for being mean-spirited and making a terrible home for their girls.  They should start supporting each other instead of tearing each other down.  They could have a nice life together if they would stop the drama.

It is wrong to complain all over about your spouse.  All that does is validate your feelings of self-righteousness and anger and make you more unwilling to do your part.

Women and men who want a happy marriage they key is:  women give respect to him, men give love to her (that means show it, not just love her and say it now and then).

I don't know why this woman is so angry, but it is probably like a lot of marriages, she wants him to do A,B, or C or she is tired and frustrated with status quo and he is blowing off her needs.  That would be my guess.  It doesn't have to be as dramatic as this.

I understand her anger, if that is the case.  My husband frustrated me for many years and we had a house of yelling and fighting.  It was like that for years and only better recently because he realized how he was not supporting me or helping me out with the kids.  He realized he was being a selfish and insensitive jerk.  He's really sorrry for that.  If this man could do that then he'd get some respect from his wife, I bet.

I hope they can work it out.  I hate to see divorce and they don't act like they will be peaceful in a split either, it looks like everyone is ready to take sides on both sides of the family.  SAD.

I usually really dislike the bachelor guy no matter how hard he tries to be nice.  I guess I have a problem with a guy who is okay with all these women throwing themselves at him b/c he is single and has a good income, appears to be successful in some way or is good looking (not always a criteria for The Bachelor, IMO).  So, the doctor is good looking and he is a doctor which must be what every girl wants, right?  Phooey!  Then he is arrogant enough to write a book so all of the single girls know just how to make sure they don't get dumped by the likes of him.

Wow! From the first time I heard the doctor talk I knew he was lightyears away from tying the knot.  He has an excuse for everything.  While I agree, a woman should want a guy for who he is and not just want to marry the first one who is asking.  I think ruling a woman out based on her wanting to get married and have kids in  her future doesn't mean she an "agenda".  Holy smokes.  That's just a good thing to want IMO.

It's way better than serial menogamy or sleeping around until you are deemed "Not that Girl" by the all knowing bachelor.

I just don't like this doctor even if he supposedly has it all.  He wouldn't be ready to marry if Mrs. Right was right in front of him and didn't do any of the wrong things. 

Women be yourselves and men too.  There are too many rules already.  Men don't marry sluts, women don't fall for a bum.  Those are good rules. 

I think we should all be thankful the cameras weren't on us.  It was very brave of the mom to go on the show knowing (she had to have known she was taped acting crazy) the bad side of her would be shown.

The son doesn't seem the least bit sorry.  I agree that he needs to be shown some kind of unconditional love and the fact that he hasn't seen it may be why he is so mean. 

I can totally see myself in this woman's shoes in a few years of things don't get better at my house. 

I do think hormones are involved and that it only makes the mom feel less equipped to deal with the mess she has made.  I'd love to have the workup that this mom is having on her hormones and chemicals to see if something is wrong that makes me more sensitve and overreact.  I pretty much know I am going to be a bear at certain times of the month (not really PMS, but like that and related to cycle, I think).  I tell myself that I am going to get through this month or these two weeks when I don't feel like me without yelling at anyone and I am going to be able to get up, get dressed, exercise, etc.  I did notice that this mom was not dressed, hair was not fixed and no bra in the video, but dad and son were dressed.  That makes me feel like she is not well.  Also, I noticed she wanted to be left alone.  When I do not feel well that is my main requests of everyone, to just let me rest b/c I am so irritable I don't want to be around anyone b/c I might meltdown which is really not what I want.  So, I do feel for the mom.

I know I have made the mistake of inconsistency with my oldest and that is part of the problem. Also, when I lose my temper with him I feel guilty and then I have lifted the consequence at times.  So, my son sees a payoff for baiting us into an arguement.  The funny thing is that it rarely happens to my hubby probably because my husband won't react like I have.  My son has even said "this is fun' about fighting with me. That makes me really angry when I hear that and sad too.  So, I know I cannot let him get to me.  He has also told his dad he does this on purpose so he will not be in as much trouble (get privileges back).

I feel bad for the son b/c if the dynamic wasn't there he'd be the young man he could be, but he's kind of in a game (like my son has been) and I think he is at the point where it is like a drug.

I believe that boys sometimes need safe risks.  Fighting with their moms can be a safe risk.  They can push mom's buttons and get her to act scary and yelling and then it is over and there is no bodily damage and usually there is a payoff when mom feels guilty.  I think if boys have a safe risk, rock climbing, martial arts, or something physical then they have a healthy place to put their aggression.  I got my little devil in Karate, but took him out when he kicked me and unleashed himself from me when I grabbed his arm to stop him from running into the street once.  He takes sports and we take him camping and let him use a pocket knife and help make campfires.  I am going to get him back in martial arts this summer.  We aren't fighting as much and I think I know how to stop it now (by not reacting to his little things he does to get to me, he's smart).

Aside from trying to really not meltdown at my house.  I have decided I am not going to let him get away with being bad.  If I melt down that is my reaction and I have to deal with the guilt and hopefully it won't happen again.  But it isn't fair to use him to make me feel better b/c I didn't act grownup.  So, I leave the consequence which takes away his incentive to fight with me.  He doesn't really have fights with his dad b/c his dad doesn't react like I do.  So, I see this as a problem I have to fix.

I know that kids start life completely innocent and they learn from us.  I feel for both the mom and the son.  Mom needs help in establishing boundaries, rules, and keeping them in place and inforced.  She probably needs to feel good to so that she can do it. 

The son needs unconditional love to be shown to him.  If he has lost 4 jobs then he is not ready for a job and the benefits that come with it (spending cash).  Instead of rag on him and make him feel like a loser, I'd just say, you aren't ready and therefore you will have to find another way to earn money for A, B, and C that you can handle.  Maybe he needs to mow yards instead or shovel snow, or whatever so he can use some muscles and exert himself a bit.  Maybe he doesn't feel proud of the work he was doing.  Sometimes boys and men need to see the results of what they are doing.  That's why moving snow is a good job for boys.

That's my input from another crazy mom who is trying not to be this family on tv.

I agree this stems from not disciplining the child and not being consistent.

The one thing that is really striking in one of the videos is that mom looks drunk and seems to be slurring.  She is either on something or this is mental illness.  I"m not making and excuse b/c a lot needs to change besides her chemicals or hormones (but it appears she will have an easier time if she is stabilized).  She doesn't seem right and that is not just the yelling.  Specifically, when she calls him a "pig' she looks like she is about to fall down and go to sleep.

I hope my son and I are well beyond this by that age.  If not I think I'd see if a family member could keep him while I get some help for all of us. 

I am going to find a doctor for my hormones tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am glad someone who knows him spoke up.  His mom does seem cold on the show.  I am a mom with a son younger than Michael and feel this could be us in a few years.  If I was on the show I'd be crying my eyes out.

Michael does need unconditional love to be shown to him by his mother.  He needs her love and support.  I hope he can be forgiving towards her b/c parents just make mistakes some bigger than others. 

I hope  he can let go of the anger and they can get the help they need.  He was saying he comes home from school and doesn't get any love.  I don't know what that means, but he could maybe talk to his mom about what he'd like to happen after school. 

His mom looks mentally ill to me in the tape (not just the yelling but other things -her dress, hair, and slurring speach).  So, if she can't get better at least he is out of there in a few years. 

I don't hold it against him if he cannot hold a job.  He may not be mature enough for that yet. 

In our house the fights usually started over my son having a consequence for a bad behavior (like hurting a sibling).  It wasn't clear on the show what upset his mom so much.