Quote From: yahssis
Dr Phil, I notice you rarely let us know what personality disorders the people on the show have, before you let us observe their homes and their behaviors during your interviews.
From what I've studied, Susan, the mother, clearly suffered from borderline symptoms or at least Stockholm Syndrome, due to (I'm guessing), possibly growing up in a home where the adults held absolute, unquestioned authority over the children and living in a marriage of isolation and domination due to the man being in the military, and probably suffering from effects of the rigorous/probably abusive treatment he was receiving.
When Susan told you that she was in the basement and doesn't remember the incidents, you insisted that this could not be. Ever hear of DISSOCIATION? It is very common during trauma. I feel you were totally not giving us the full picture of this mother.
Now, Heidi, you need some serious cognitive therapy for Narcissistic Personality Disorder issues. The way you were mocking what your mother said (right or wrong, evil or pure as she may/not have been), you clearly portrayed yourself as high and mighty, callous and scoffing. A truly Narcissistic person. I cannot blame you for turning out this way, based on the abuse by your step father and also the dysfunctional problems of your mother. You still acted really snobby and not like someone I'd want to get close to. I hope you get therapy soon and learn about forgiveness of ALL people and interpersonal relationships that are healthy.
Heidi, you were laughing with a "yeah right" attitude through the entire show, not taking into account the feelings of the other person, your mother, at all...again narcissistic. I really felt myself just wanting to slap ya during the show. Sadly, you had to pretty much live your life in an atmosphere of distrust, feeling that you had to protect yourself and probably raise yourself too.
Heidi also seems to not remember things that her mother has physical proof of. I'd check into that, Dr Phil.
Regarding the abuser...Dr Phil, have you ever heard of an abuser who, during the abuse, emits brain chemicals, that, after the abuse, are no longer there.
Susan, I am sorry for you, that you had no help available for any of the abuses you suffered in your own life, that gave you the borderline issues which caused you not to be a good mother to your daughter. I realize that the military is a whole other world and you were isolated and things were covered up. I cannot excuse what happened to your daughter, yet I also believe you when you say that you had no idea what was going on THE FIRST TIME. After that, there would have been some signs in your daughter's behaviors, etc. The thing is, again, if you were mentally dysfunctional, you would not know what signs to even notice. It's a very complicated thing all the way around, but it boils down to the fact that all people need a personal relationship with the One who forgave us first...His name is Jesus.
I will be praying for you all.
PL
We got to know Susan and Heidi over the period of a one-hour show. Heidi has been dealing with this her whole life. Susan was the narcissistic one, in my view (obviously not yours) . Imagine if she had been your mother. Every time you talked to her about how you felt, even if it was to say how horrible it was that she knew and did not do anything to stop it, and she had that attitude for as long as she has (about 20 years or more), wouldn't you be really sick of hearing it? Heidi wants to hear her mother say that she was wrong, she is sorry, and if she had it all to do over again, she would have done it differently. It is surprising to me that you cannot understand Heidi's anger. Perhaps you do not understand the nightmare she had to endure because her mother chose to keep her exposed to a pedophile.
