Messages By: hbtharle

Why do women stay with abusive men?
The answer: Genesis 3:16: "Your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you".

Our society is based on the premis that man rules and women obeys. It is a terrible burden for all to bear.

When I was a student I met a man who was overbearing. I left him and he couldn't take it. He called me every hour and followed me to work every day. I simply ignored him in a polite firm manner.

One Sunday afternoon he called and said, "If you can come for a drive with me, look me in the eye and tell me it is finished, I won't bother you any more." I thought, "Why not?" When I got in the car I went straight to the point, looked him in the eye,  and said, " I will not see you any longer. I value my freedom too much."

With that he put his foot on the gas and went straight to the harbour. I sat back in the passenger seat perfectly relaxed. He felt uneasy about this and said, " I am going to drive straight into the ocean. If I can't have you, no one will."  Before  I knew it, I was laughing. I said, "Oh well, we all have to die sometime."

He put his foot on the brake as quickly as he had put it on the gas. The he turned around the car and took me home. Before I left the car, I thanked him for understanding my position and wished him well. I have not seen him since.

Whether we realize it or not, we all desire to be free!

 I have observed such men for several years and have yet to see one change. Their intentions are good but that is as far as it goes, I am afraid. The road to hell is paved with good intentions! Run as fast as you can, Erin! You don't need a husband who uses sex and abuse as a brain candy. You don't need another child!

I can't beleive that Dr. Phil would have this person on his show. Does this man think that any self-respecting woman would look at him the second time? I don't think so! Self possessed and egotistical are just two words than come to mind...

 Don't feel pressured to get married or follow the lemmings. You will know when someone comes along who is your soul mate. I was always happy alone, even though I had lots of people around and a good social life. I am well educated with acceptable looks and everyone expected that I would marry early. But men didn't interest me precisely because they were so shallow and transparent in their desires. Then one day I met a man and while he was helping out in the kitchen I reaized suddenly that he was in my space and I didn't want to run away and be alone. That  was it; we knew that we were meant for each other because we could be in each other's company and we each felt as though we were alone. We were one! That was years ago and nothing has changed. Looing back, I know that I would rather not be with someone if they made me feel uncomfortable and want to run away to be alone.

I am a doctor, too. What entitlement does that give me, exactly?