Messages By: tennkress

26 years ago, I had a premature 26 week baby girl. She was born just before Halloween, and I made the choice to remove life support just after the New Year. All of you are right, it never fully goes away. But, with time, it does stop stinging as bad. I have come to realize, that having her, even with losing her, was a blessing in disguise. Even though she was only here for 3 months, I HAD those 3 months. I would rather go through the pain of her lose, than to have never known her.  The holidays are hard for me. But I have learned to put aside my sadness, and to be thankful for the brief gift I was given. Here is a poem that helped me:

 

From an infinate source,

Midst realms of light,

An offpring of Nature,

My Soul took its flight!

 

To gain amid matter,

With its trials and pain,

The knowledge to carry it,

Homeward again!

 

Our children have just gone home. I pray for you all.

I have been hurt by people who i thought were friends online. I am an adult, 47. Suddenly people turned on me, called me crazy, told me that my son should commit suicide because having a mother like me is worse than living. They told me I should commit suicide. I talked with these people for 3 years on Teamspeak. It left me so upset, I started to consider suicide. I am going to a counselor now. These were adults doing this. So, not only children go through it. Yeah i have emotional problems, and I have many physical problems as well. I am in constant pain, and sometimes all it takes is a little push, and I have pills in my hand again. So far, I have been able to not follow through. Think before you speak! You don't know what the person on the other end is going through, and they are REAL people, not just cyber names!