Messages By: thecakelady

I lost my daughter to suicide at the age of 23 three and one half years ago.  She had been diagnosed with bi-polar and borderline personality disorder and was hospitalized many times over a 10 year period either for attempting suicide or threatening to.  She succeeded when the community mental health people had her arrested at a mental facility when she was trying not to be put in a quite room and struggled to get loose and a EMT got hurt.  They put her in isolation in jail for her "crime" while she was waiting competency hearings.  On the 52nd day she hung herself.  I am sure the loneliness and isolation just got to the point where she could not stand it any longer.  She was suicidal, told the personnel that, yet was ignored.  I will never get over the guilt that I did not bail her out of jail.  Over a ten year period, we listened to dozens of counselors and psychiatrists and took their advise.  Most said she was just trying to get attention, but I knew it was more and that it was a neurological problem.  We tried as parents many times to get her in the proper treatment, but since she was on disability, no one wanted to pay the bill.  I regret not going into debt myself trying to solve the problems she faced.  We now have a son, age 25 who is suffering from depression.  We had him in treatment in FL where he lives for 2 1/2 months, he then lost his job and has been unemployed with no motivation to move forward for 4 months now.  He is out of money, we pay for his necessities but can't continue and we feel there is no place to turn.  I ask him if he is considering suicide, but he says no.  After being a part of a survivor;s of suicide  help group for 3 years,  I know there is always that possibility for him to as he becomes more depressed each day.  I just don't know where to turn anymore.  I wish Dr. Phil would have a program for us survivors and teach us how we can go on with our lives even with a new normal.  My son needs to learn how to begin his life again after losing his sister.  I feel stuck and unable to complete tasks at hand everyday.  Her suicde has hurt us all and even though I know she never meant to hurt us, it has changed our lives forever.

Thank you for offering yiour help.  I will visit those websites as I have a 26 year old son who is currently in FL, not working and gaming continually.  Of course, he is in complete denial and I don't know how to reach him.  He suffers from depression and I worry that someday suicide will be his way out also, as we have already lost one daughter to suicide 3 years ago.  I need all the help I can get.  Thank you Brad, the show was great.