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February 24, 2008, 1:26 am CST

What Happened to Honesty in a Marriage?

I think computers and the internet have their place, but, they are used by many people as a reason to live a fantasy life. There is nothing that I write online that can't be read by my husband and I absolutely expect the same from him. He knows my passwords and I know his. Privacy is one thing, keeping secrets from one another is an entirely different issue. I have monitoring software on my computer and everyone who uses it is aware of this (including my grandchildren). I think it is more important for them to know that it is there, than for me to use it, as I rarely do. It is so important for parents to monitor their children's use of the Internet, even with and especially teenagers. If they don't like it, then that is fine, they can wait until they are 18 to get on the Internet. Somewhere along the line, the word privacy has gotten misued and many parents have stopped parenting. I also believe that our laws have not kept up with technology, so, pornography, children being persued by strangers, etc has become much easier. A computer in the home is a privilage, not a right. If it causes problems in a marriage or in a family, then it goes in the garbage or at least "off line." To me, it is that easy. You turn it off. We can survive without the "internet." I don't go on the computer to read my husband's emails, I trust that he isn't writing anything that would be something that he wouldn't want to share with me. If I had any reason to believe he was "flirting" with other women online (which apparently, some spouses do), believe me, I would be calling that day and canceling our internet service. I so agree with Dr Phil: you teach people how to treat you. I will not tolerate that kind of behavior, I would consider it disrespectful to me and a total misuse of the computer.

 

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