Quote From: foxylass I feel so lost and angry at the lack of acknowledgement and any support for people who have been grossly mistreated by the mental health system. After being medicated for 'mild' depression with Zoloft in 1996 I inexplicably became suicidal. However, instead of this being recognised for the adverse reaction it was, my doctor doubled the dose and added an antipsychotic followed by a six week admission to a psych ward with weeks of ECT.
You would think that according to the stories pedalled by pharmaceutical companies ,mental health leaflets and psychiatrists that this 'wonderful and necessary'' intervention would have had me thinking clearly and suddenly happy and functioning again. That was far from the case and would be for another 9 yrs until I weaned myself off all medications and commenced cognitive behavioural therapy I was suddenly cured. The shrinks (five of them) were treating the symptoms produced by the medications. No amount of different medications or ECT was ever going to change it. I was labelled' treatment resistant'. Probably because the treatment was and had always been inappropriate.
In short I lost a great amount of my long -term memory ( due to ECT) , lost ten years of my life ; lost my child bearing years; lost the opportunity to ever own a home (too old to start paying a mortagage now) lost the opportunity to advance my career and lost all but 3 friends ( two live in another state). I can't even get income protection insurance because I was treated for depression. They will only agree to insure me if I see their shrink and agree to be medicated for an illness I don't have with the drugs that nearly took my life.
I am sick of seeing sanitised stories about psychiatric treatment. Meds only work for about 49% of people taking them. That leaves 51% who don't improve or get even worse or suicide. In Australia if you were to try and post this message on any message board for mental health support it will not be posted. It will be censored by moderators who won't print anything that doesn't project a squeaky clean and flawless image of psychiatric treatment. There is so little scientific evidence to support anything psychiatry says or does. If you sign a consent for surgery you do so with full knowledge of the risks involved. You don't get that with psychiatric treatment. It is not truly informed consent that you give. There is absolutely no balanced information distributed to patients.
However, despite what happened to me I am constantly told by others that 'I have no right to feel angry. I should be grateful just to have recovered. I should just try to forget it and move on.' That would be easier if people didn't ask why I'm not married , why I don't have children ; why I didn't buy a home and what did I do over the last 11 years. People approach me and start talking to me claiming they know me from a decade ago. Due to the ECT I cannot remember who they are , how they know me and what they know about me. It's rather embarassing to say you can't remember who they are even after they tell you their name. Also when it comes to explaining why you gave up work for 2 1/2 yrs and they say ," Oh, did you have a job in a different industry, have children or travel?" When the real answer is ,"No I was locked up in a psych ward drugged to the eyeballs , having my memories erased with ECT and dangerously obese with parkinsonian symptoms ( from meds)."
People like myself are made to feel that it's not the fault of the psychiatric fraternity that our lives were ruined. Not to mention you cannot even sue them for compensation as the statute of limitations is only 3 yrs here. Nobody successfully sues a doctor here without becoming bankrupt themselves. So how can I get justice ? Even acknowledgement or an apology for mistreating me would be suffice. But instead they want me to forgive them and thank them for their efforts ! Would you ?
I'm not too sure if any of my words would do you any good, but still.....I'm very sorry. And I really hope you can find it within yourself to start looking at the future, no matter how troubling it may be. You've 'survived' 11 years of mistreatement, that makes you a very strong person to me! And I know people around you make that worse, people can be so insensitive....as long as it does not happen to them.
Holding ''them' responsible is very difficult; as soon as you point the finger at one of them, they will point at someone else. It's the same here (Holland)....we know now they already knew what Zoloft did to people when they started giving it here....me, and many others, suffered from the same symptoms as you did. Since I wasn't depressed but Bipolair I even had a more severe reaction, but I was lucky....I'm okay. But no one ever came forward either, no one ever apologized.....I even think you can still get Zoloft here....they say the risks are minimized.....
To answer your question......would you? I'm sorry, but I don't think I can answer that question, I honostly would not know. I'm tempted to answer 'no', but experience has taught me that keeping anger inside of me makes the situation worse for me.....I try to get rid of anger as soon as I can :) But in this case....boy, I think that would be a very hard job.
I hope the new year will bring you some better things, I hope it will bring you the strength to let the grip they've got on your life go. They don't deserve to be in your attention span.
All my best,
