Messages By: trishco

I was told by my Mom, "Hun, you need to forgive and forget, because you grew up one way and they grew up another."  I did that for 15 years (13 years of that during marriage) and I can't seem to stop hating them more and more!  My mom has a heart of gold, but I got the fools gold part.  I was blessed to have an open heart and open mind, which I chose to use.  I care less if you talk behind my back, but when I hear it from my kids and nieces, that becomes a problem.  Then to have my kids fear my husband and I by having them lie to us, is beyond comprehensible.  We haven't talked with my in-laws since August 2007 and they just live around the corner.  My husband and I can't do this anymore.  It's EXHAUSTING!  They blame me....and u know what!  I Don't Care!  Until they get professional help ( I am more than willing to attend), then we can assume a normal relationship.  Other than that, if and when I see them...they are going to get a good tongue lashing!

My mom used to tell me, when I was younger, to let it go. That made me feel as if she didn't want to hear about it and deal with it.  It was hard for me to understand, why these kids would want to say mean things to me.  When I had to deal with it on my own, it made me look and criticize myself for my faults.

Now, that I have 4 children of my own, I do things a little different now.  Especially when they are already facing it in grade school.  I encourage them everyday after school to sit and let me know how their day went.  I want to hear about their friends and what happened with "Joe" and "Sally", especially if it sounds silly. 

It means alot to mean to be close with my children.  I wish I could create a force field, to shield them from unexpected events, but I know they need this in order to learn how they can deal with it.

But for now, all I can do is encourage them to rise above the hate and look to help to those who need it help.